**4. Conclusions**

The results of this study clearly point to the profile of emotionally codependent women to their partners; codependency that is described as a type of prison that goes beyond physical prison. Many of the women interviewed were incarcerated before entering prison, suppressing themselves in order to live through their partners. Some women left the violent relationship when they were captured, others have persisted, so a new question arises: what is the di fference between those who decided to break the violent relationship and those who decided to continue? It is clear that breaking the violent relationship does not mean that they have closed the cycle of emotional dependency, so who really finished the circle of dependency? Some women closed the circle of dependency a long side the process of this study, others did so from the consolidation of new practices of subjectivation that led them to identify themselves as valuable, autonomous people and with the agency to make adjustments and changes for their good and the common good.

This study revealed the strong relationship that exists between emotional codependency and violent relationships. People who are emotionally dependent on other people (who in turn have another type of dependency) establish a di fficult cycle to break, because they are generating certain practices that place the responsibility of their previous dependency on the couple, that is, specifically certain guilt over their own vulnerability, and therefore they demanded the couple's rescue. In this relationship of emotional codependency, arguments are produced that erroneously justify the actions of the other and their own, to the point that it becomes di fficult to modify them or look for other options. Codependency is a form of violence in that it limits the freedom of choice.

In this study, it is estimated that one of the ways to break the argumen<sup>t</sup> that justifies codependency is through another argumen<sup>t</sup> that turns out to be more convincing than the first. It is not enough that it is a valid and justifiable argumen<sup>t</sup> for other people if it lacks validity for oneself. From here, it is clearly seen how subjective violence is, although in itself it has such objective characteristics through which it can be determined whether or not someone is a victim of violence. Because the way of perceiving violence is subjective, the way out of a violent relationship is also very subjective. It is increasingly complex to identify a unique pattern that indicates the level of vulnerability of a woman to fall into a violent relationship and the level of empowerment to leave it.

Despite subjective limitations to objectify knowledge, this study provided valuable data on the possible ways out to leave a violent relationship. It is clear that knowing this route was not the main objective of this study, but when observing what was happening with women in the process, and the impact that the activities had on them, in the visibility of codependency, the identification of gender violence and finally the voluntary decision to break the violent circle allowed to us identify a series of steps that, although they had unique aspects, manifested themselves in several of them.

In the first instance, the identification of the primary codependency factor that is established in a relationship in a repetitive way is necessary. This study made it many times easier to identify if the couple has a dependency and if they have dependent behaviors towards the couple, to identify whether or not they are victims of gender violence. Many interviewed women indicate that they have never had any type of violence, but that they have generated emotional dependencies of men with dependence on alcohol, gambling, sex, among others (reviewing their past–present).

Once the level of codependency is identified, the harmful e ffects on their life and the lives of their close ones should be reviewed concerning their mental health and their quality of life. At this point, women were constructing their own arguments about how profitable it was to sustain this codependent relationship in relation to cost-benefit (reviewing their present). Some women did not want to continue on the following topics for discussion, some stayed in the review of their past and a bit of the present, but they gave up on the process. Some of them expressed that they did not want to talk about their injuries; in confinement they preferred to think about the ideal of a romantic relationship, because they did not want to be alone. It is here where the metaphor of psychically imprisoned women is visible: women transit from one jail to another—from the jail of dependency to the jail of fear of loneliness among many others.

Third, they were allowed to identify the repercussions in the future if they continued in this type of relationship (reviewing their future). Finally, those who continued the process reached the last stage of this discussion strategy: painful but decisive decisions. Each participant was led to reflect on possible decisions that approach the woman they want to be and not the one others compel or want to see. This process cannot stop here; many of these women revealed the presence of other bonds that motivated their own agency.

Based on the above, it is necessary to continue deepening the study of a ffective bonds, their impact, and the practices that link the consolidation of healthy, liberating, empowering and transforming bonds, as well as in the personal agency strategies that usually occur from the modifications in the perception of life and the environment. It seems that recent generations build prisons that provide them with some fake security; there are women fearful of resistance, of defiance, of loneliness, with the uncertainty of tomorrow, weak in the face of threat and fragile in the face of failure. However, just as there are these types of women, there are also women who are characterized by having healthy, non-violent, non-dependent relationships, women who are not afraid of su ffering, who work tirelessly for their present and future, who do not stop at defeat but assume that this could be a chance for success, so as not to continue building bars of psychic prisons that could only be demolished with arguments based on the truth of themselves, a truth that perceives us all as beings equally worthy of love.

**Funding:** This research was funded by Universidad Autónoma de Bucaramanga—UNAB, gran<sup>t</sup> number 056.

**Acknowledgments:** To the women who voluntarily decided to participate in this study sharing their life stories and participating all research activities. To UNAB for financing this research process.

**Conflicts of Interest:** The author declares no conflict of interest. The funder had no role in the design of the study; in the collection, analyses, or interpretation of data; in the writing of the manuscript, or in the decision to publish the results.
