**4. Results**

### *4.1. Characteristics of Study Participants*

The article is based on the experiences of 26 survivors of child marriage who su ffered IPV during the relationships. Their age at first marriage ranged from 13 to 17 years. All the women were of a reproductive age (15 to 49 years). All the women had attained some level of formal education. However, only six of them completed lower secondary education (S1–S4). Most (15) women were currently married, but only five were still married to their first partners. Most (17) women were involved in an income-generating activity at the time of the study.

### *4.2. Experiences of IPV during Child Marriage*

The women reported su ffering physical, sexual, emotional and economic abuse at the hands of their partners. The physical abuse mainly took the form of beatings, slaps, kicking and pinching. Several of the men committed the physical violence while under the influence of alcohol. Viola, who had go<sup>t</sup> married at the age of 13 after getting pregnan<sup>t</sup> and being sent away by her single mother to join the man, explained that she had left the relationship due to constantly being beaten by a drunk partner. " ... I left because the man used to mistreat me through beating me up especially after taking alcohol. Instead of talking to me softly, he would just quarrel. Anything small I did, he quarreled and beat me up," she said.

Similar experiences were shared by Atwendya, who reported that she was often beaten, kicked, pinched and slapped by her partner.

I was abused for sure. Like sometimes I would be busy with our baby then he asks me to wash his clothes. Whenever I failed to wash them, he would come back start quarreling and after kick, slap or hit me severely. He would complain, 'I have already told you to do this for me, but you are wasting time on your child,' then he would pull my ears, and pinch my cheeks or call me stupid.

Sexual abuse mainly took the form of forceful sex. Some of the women reported that their partners were so forceful that they sometimes ruptured their sexual organs. For instance, Tina told of the excruciating pain and injuries she suffered from her first sexual intercourse after traditionally marrying her husband at the age of 16.

When I reached his [husband] place the first time we had sexual intercourse he tore my private parts. I started fearing to have sex with him but he would force me. I had a lot of pain and it was severe every time I tried to urinate. When the urine mixed with the wound, the pain became unbearable. I felt like not eating or drinking anything because of the pain.

Several women reported being forced into sex by husbands who were under the influence of alcohol. Akanyo narrated how her partner had subjected her to physical and sexual abuse a few weeks into the relationship.

... after a few weeks of staying together he started beating me whenever he came back home drunk. He would force me to have sex any time and even worse when he was drunk. He beat me for many days consecutively ...

In regard to emotional violence, the women reported that they were often insulted, denigrated, taunted, belittled and emotionally tortured by men who brought mistresses home to have sex with in their presence. Miriam told of the emotional pain of being regularly chased from her marital bed for her husband to sleep with another woman. She narrated, " ... He also returned with women and asked me to either sleep outside the house or on the floor and for them to sleep on the bed. It was really painful."

Eva related how she was constantly taunted, belittled and denigrated by her partner for conceiving so soon after delivering her first baby.

I conceived again when my first child was only 9 months old. I really felt bad when I found out that I had conceived. Life became hard and unbearable; my husband would insult me every time, saying that I am stupid. He blamed me for conceiving again when the child was still young. He would always ask me, 'Can't you ask and seek guidance from your friends, are you stupid?' I really lost my peace of mind due to those insults ...

Economic violence manifested in the forms of denial of opportunities to work and exclusion from decisions on the sale of household assets or benefitting from the proceeds. For example, asked if she was involved in any income-generating activity during the child marriage, Birabwa revealed that she had been prohibited from working by her partner. "No, I did not do anything. He would not allow me to work. I would just stay home doing nothing but take care of the home and my child," she responded. Dembe related how her husband's tendency to make unilateral decisions had culminated in the sale of land they had purchased together without her consent.

He was dictatorial, that was his [main] problem. He never listened to anyone, he would decide on his own. We had bought a plot of land, where I thought we would build our home, but he sold it without my consent. When the old woman who had sold that plot to us told me that my husband had sold the land, I confronted him about it, then we had an altercation. He decided to stop coming back home for almost a month because he was very angry with me.

In some cases, the men sold the food cultivated by the women for household consumption without their consent and used it on alcohol or other pleasures, as explained by Korina, who was 14 years old at first marriage.

He never used to take care of us. Not even any support. He abandoned us with his mother in the village. He would come to sell most of the food harvest like sorghum and beans, then he would go to buy alcohol. He would steal and exchange the harvest with alcohol. Even sorghum, when it is already mixed with cassava, he would select all the cassava from the sorghum and exchange it for alcohol and, worse of all, at times he would even exchange the plants when we have not ye<sup>t</sup> harvested them to ge<sup>t</sup> alcohol. I would just see people harvesting the crops because my husband had already taken alcohol of their worth ... Sometimes he would ge<sup>t</sup> women and fail to return home for days.

Some of the women were overworked and economically exploited by their partners, while others reported being neglected and denied financial and material support. Tina recounted being enslaved during her two years of marriage to a suitor identified by her relatives while she was 16. She remarked, "I was his slave; I would work for him then he just sells all the harvest without my knowledge. He would overwork me beyond my age, and when the crops go<sup>t</sup> ready sell them without even informing me."

Lamwaka told of how her polygamous husband refused to support her in spite of earning an income from farming.

He had money, he even married me traditionally. He did not drink [alcohol]; he was a farmer but would never consider supporting me [economically]. All he did was insult me and keep bragging that he was not educated but could keep two women. Yet he did not give us any assistance. I would look for the money to sustain me on my own.

In addition, several of the women reported being controlled by their partner. The majority of them attributed the controlling behaviour to their partner's extreme jealousy and unfounded suspicions of their infidelity. Nasozi decried the physical and emotional torture she was subjected to during her one year of marriage, as her partner attempted to prevent her from interacting with men he suspected she was having a ffairs with.

That man was very abusive. He would even lock me in the house; that I should not leave to go anywhere until he comes back home. When he came back [home] he would start to quarrel and beat me for no reason. Every person I would talk to, he would say that you have an a ffair with him; he was an extremely jealous man. He thought I would do what he does so he would lock me in the house as he went to drink alcohol and find me when he returned.

Similarly, Viola had to seek permission from her partner before going on any errand away from home. She said that it was his way of monitoring her movements to be certain about who she interacted with at a time.

I had to ask for permission for almost everything; whether I am going to collect firewood or go somewhere, it was him to decide for me. Even when he wasn't around, I had to wait for him to ge<sup>t</sup> back home so that he grants me permission for anything I wanted to do outside the home.

Some women were sequestered because their partners and sometimes in-laws were afraid that they would be arrested for defilement, while others feared that the girls would escape and return to their natal homes. Atwendya was lured to elope with a man at the age of 15 when he realised that he had go<sup>t</sup> her pregnant, then he took her to live with his relatives over 100 km away. She told of how her in-laws initially hid her in the house for fear of being arrested and charged with the concealment of a defilement case.

At first, when I eloped to join their [husband's] family, they were locking me inside the house. They never allowed me to move out of the house. They said that I was still too young to be married, so they were afraid and scared that they would be arrested in case the authorities go<sup>t</sup> to see me with the pregnancy.

Miriam, who also eloped with a man at the age of 14, and moved over 200 km away from her natal home, was banned from talking to community members by her partner. She suspected that he was wary that they could give her ideas to escape and return home.

My husband used to stop me from talking to other people. Whenever he found me talking to anyone, he could beat me and ask me what the discussion was all about. He also used to lock me in the house whenever he found me with anyone in the village. On such days, I would survive on taking water. I think he feared that they would help me to escape.

As shown, the women typically su ffered two or more forms of abuse at the hands of their partners. Their relationships can be described as involving multiple experiences of IPV.

### *4.3. Leaving Violent Relationships*

The majority of women in this study left their violent marriages within three years, which meant most of them were still adolescents when they did so. Not surprisingly, most of the women reported that the men were "good" at the beginning of the union, variously describing them as caring, supportive, respectful, understanding, communicative and providing for their needs. The reversal in the behaviour of partners typically coincided with the women's first pregnancy, the birth of the first child or the partner's initiation of a relationship with another woman/women. Only one woman could not explain the sudden change in her partner's behaviour. She nevertheless thought that his ex-wife, who had reemerged after learning that he had married again, was deliberately annoying him so that he would shift the anger to her and eventually force her to leave. In the following sub-sections, we present four factors that emerged as key in helping the women to leave violent relationships. These include having a secure base to return to, reaching a tipping point in the relationship, financial independence and intervention of a significant other.

### *4.4. Having a Secure Base to Return to*

*Many like me stay in their violent marriages because there is nowhere else to go, but for me I had somewhere to run to which is home*. (Atuku, a Child Marriage Survivor)

As Atuku clearly puts it in the above excerpt, having a secure place—where they felt safe, loved or at least provided for—to return to was critical in our respondents' decisions to leave violent child marriages. This was particularly the case for participants who left as adolescents, all of whom were dependent and therefore needed a place where they could be supported, not only morally but also economically. As such, all but one of the participants who left their partners as adolescents returned to their parents' or guardian's home. For example, Nasozi was typical of this response. She decided to return to her mother, where she expected to be loved and cherished, when her one-year relationship with the man she had eloped with at 16 years turned violent. She lived with a single mother and had been lured into this sexual relationship to cope with extreme deprivation at home. She soon discovered that she was pregnan<sup>t</sup> and eloped with her partner without informing her mother or any other relative of her whereabouts. "We were lacking almost everything. I would be at school but lacking almost everything. I thought that because this man was giving me some money whenever I needed something, he would provide for and help my mother as well," she explained. While the marital relationship had started well, the man's behaviour changed for the worse after she delivered her first child.

He first treated me well and I was happy. Initially he provided me with whatever I wanted. But when I gave birth, he changed his behaviour. He no longer provided for me. I was no longer respected; he would take alcohol and come back home to insult and beat me up. When I gave birth the situation worsened.

It was at this point that she decided to reconcile with her mother and seek to return home. I told myself that my mother is a very poor and needy person but loves me. I called my mother, told her about my situation and the su ffering I was going through. I asked for her forgiveness then she told me to come back home. So, I decided to leave the man and came back [home]. I am doing something to sustain myself, my child and my mother; it may be small, but I feel safe and have a peace of mind.

Some women returned to their parents even if they were not completely welcome, which further underscores the significance of parental support for child marriage survivor's decisions to leave violent relationships. For example, Dembe decided to return home and apologise to her father when a year of economic and emotional abuse at the hands of her partner culminated in her abandonment in hospital when she had a stillbirth. She had married her partner aged 15 when her father and stepmother chased her from home while she was pregnant, following a streak of rebellious behaviour that had started two years earlier. She reported that sleeping with men had been her way of coping with the neglect and abuse perpetrated mainly by her stepmother, who had also managed to bias her father against her. But life proved di fficult from the moment she joined her partner. He could not provide for her because he was not working. She had to do heavy work like fetching water and cultivating people's gardens to ge<sup>t</sup> food, in spite of being pregnant. He controlled her, sometimes forcefully took her money away and often insulted and blamed her for her predicament. "He would yell at me and say, 'you are su ffering because you are illiterate, you thought getting married to me would be your source of security instead of staying with your parents and focusing on your studies'," she narrated. When Dembe lost her baby during a complicated birth, her partner abandoned her in the hospital and never returned. With nowhere else to go, she decided to return home to her parents.

I decided to go back to my father's home since there was nothing left to hold on to; I had lost my baby and my husband had deserted me. I went and apologised to my father, he forgave and took me back in.

Unlike Nasozi, Dembe did not receive the warmest of receptions after being accepted back into the family. She continued to be maltreated by her stepmother but nevertheless stayed. She intimated that the su ffering at her natal home was not comparable to the abuse she had endured during the marriage. "My stepmother continued to isolate and discriminate against me. She mistreated me so much, but I stayed; at least there was food," she remarked.

Several participants without a secure base to return to could not leave the marriages as early as they had wished to, while others in this situation who attempted to leave soon returned to their violent partners. One example of this was Ageno, who had married at the age of 14 and initially go<sup>t</sup> trapped in her abusive relationship because she lacked a secure base to return to. She had been pushed into marriage in the hope of escaping maltreatment from the aunt who had assumed her guardianship when both her parents died in the war that ravaged northern Uganda for two decades. She explained, "I used to stay with my aunt. She would mistreat me a lot, so I decided to ge<sup>t</sup> married; hoping that life would be better." She soon learned that married life was di fficult and decided to return home to her guardian slightly over a year later, shortly after giving birth to her first child. However, she did not ge<sup>t</sup> the reception and care she had hoped for and ended up returning to her abusive partner.

I was only 14 years old, life in marriage was not easy but I had nothing to do until I gave birth. My husband was also very young, and we were both young parents so it was very di fficult for us. I did not ge<sup>t</sup> any respect from my husband. When he started bringing other women he became so rude and would even force me into having sex with him. He would not allow me to use family planning [methods]. I went back to my aunt, but the situation was even worse, so I decided to come back to my husband.

Fifteen years later Ageno did eventually leave the marriage and return to her relatives. However, at this point she was an adult capable of fending for herself and her family and so could manage without much support from her relatives. At the time we conducted the study she was living independently with her children in a house she had constructed on the family land and deriving a livelihood from subsistence farming. She indicated that she was supporting her family without much assistance from her relatives, who were overburdened by their own responsibilities. Her case demonstrates that lacking a secure base to return to was key in her inability to leave the relationship earlier.

While Ageno made an attempt to leave during her adolescence and eventually left as an adult, 25-year-old Korina was still trapped in a violent and unhappy marriage because she felt that she had no secure place to go to. She told of the multiple forms of abuse she had su ffered at the hands of her partner since early on in the marriage she entered at 14 years.

He was disrespectful and abusive; he would over work me beyond my age. I would always do casual labour in order to buy food. He is an alcoholic, when I gave birth to my 2nd and 3rd born, he started beating me. We would quarrel and fight regularly. Do you see this gap [in my teeth]? I lost my 2 teeth during a fight with him ... all these scars on my body are signs of his abuse towards me and now he has abandoned me with his mother.

During the interview, Korina, who lost both parents to war and her guardian (a grandmother) due to natural causes, intimated that she was still living in a violent relationship primarily because she had no parent/guardian to return to. In explaining why parents should avoid pushing their children into early marriage, she indicated that she would be long out of the relationship if her mother were still alive. She remarked:

Like for me right now, if my mother was alive, I would have gone back to her with my children long ago. And that means the burden [of care] would go back to my mother. So I would never want such a burden for me in future because in case their husbands reject them, the burden will be mine.

Similarly, Maria was stuck in an abusive relationship because she saw no way out. While she had considered the option of returning home to her parents, she hesitated to leave because she anticipated rejection from her father. She remarked:

He always beats me up severely, because he is a drunkard. Every time he comes back [home] he hits and yells at me and often times leaves me without food or any single coin for home use. He also does not allow me to visit any of my relatives or friends. When he finds out that I have gone somewhere may be to look for food, or to talk to someone about what I am going through, he beats me severely ... I have thought about leaving but I have nowhere to go. My father who would have helped me now hates us [girls] all. When I go<sup>t</sup> pregnan<sup>t</sup> at 15 years while in school, he vowed never to educate a girl-child beyond O [ordinary] level.

All the above cases show that for child marriage survivors, having a secure base to return to is a critical factor in their decision to leave violent relationships. This is primarily because they are usually young and dependent when they ge<sup>t</sup> into union and thus unable to support themselves and their offspring on their own.

### *4.5. Reaching a Tipping Point in the Relationship*

All the women endured the IPV for a while before reaching a breaking point, when the violence escalated, they go<sup>t</sup> fed up, or realised that it would only escalate more. Several of the participants reported seeking the intervention of local authorities and relatives to stop the abuse but gave up when they realised that their partners would not change. Atuku told of how the escalation in violence from her partner had pushed her to a point of leaving, even though she had tried to endure it at first in the hope that he would change.

He had changed and kept on changing for the worst. I used to be battered, slapped, insulted and undermined most of the time. At first, I thought he would change, and I tried to endure but the abuse just go<sup>t</sup> worse as time passed by. All I can say is that I am happy and lucky to be alive because he could have beaten me during my pregnancy; and who knows what, I could even have died. All I can say is that if a woman is going through such kind of violence she should just leave and move on.

In contrast, Birabwa tried to stop the violence by seeking help from the police, the village chairperson and her mother, grandmother and mother-in-law, but he refused to change. She felt that she had no choice but to leave. Encouragement from her grandmother and mother-in-law strengthened her resolve to abandon the marriage.

I reported him to the LC (local council) chairman the day he almost strangled me to death. He [LC] came and intervened. He cautioned him, then he ran away for a while. When he came back he continued from where he had stopped. I reported him to the police station; they called and cautioned him to stop beating me up like that and to settle and resolve issues amicably. He was even imprisoned but he did not change and told them that no one makes decisions for him. I also reported him to his mother, my mother and grandmother but all their e fforts resulted to nothing. He continued with his bad behaviour; I had to leave him. Even my grandmother and his mother advised me to leave to avoid being killed, so I left.

Two participants who also reported an escalation in their partner's promiscuous behaviour indicated that they had been pushed to leave by the fear of being infected by HIV. Ndibalekera explained how a rapid increase in the number of children sired by her partner led her to leave the marriage out of fear for her health.

He used to treat me with respect at first but later started to abuse me verbally, was quarrelsome and would tell me that the food I grow is not on our [natal] family land; so he would sell it o ff without giving me any money ... He would come back annoyed; may be confused by his concubines and would displace his anger on us. I left his home eventually when he started producing children with di fferent women and bringing them to me. I feared for my life; I thought that I would ge<sup>t</sup> HIV ... , so I left to protect my life.

Participants who were ye<sup>t</sup> to reach such tipping points tended to stay in the abusive relationships in the hope that their partners' behaviour would soon change. An example was Nalutaaya, a 32-year-old woman who had married her partner at the age of 15. She told of how the little improvement in her partner's behaviour, following the intervention of the LC committee, had encouraged her to stay, because she was hopeful that he would eventually stop abusing her.

He also used to beat me and often abused me verbally, threw my things out and would always tell me to ge<sup>t</sup> out of his house because he had go<sup>t</sup> a mature woman. I reported him to the LC chairperson then they called and cautioned him. He reduced the beating a bit, and stopped throwing my things out. That is why I am still here. I am hopeful that he will eventually calm down [stop the abuse].

Nalutaaya's case further attests to the facilitative role of reaching a tipping point in child marriage survivors' decisions to leave abusive relationships.

### *4.6. Financial Independence*

Having a source of income that could support independent living outside the marriage enabled some women to leave abusive relationships and re-establish themselves. The women who managed this were mainly adult survivors who did not wish to return to their parents or other relatives. A typical example was Nampijja, a mother of three who earned a livelihood from teaching in a primary school. She was able to meticulously plan her exit using her income. She narrated that she had used her savings to pay for a room, where she relocated with her children without the knowledge of her abusive and controlling partner. The partner had threatened to kill her if she left him and indeed attempted to strangle her the first time she had tried to leave.

I had kept money on my account and after three months, managed to look for a room which wasn't expensive. I went to the bank, picked the money and paid for the house. I stealthily moved my things and three children, then we entered our new room. He thought that I had gone back to my parents, so he did not follow us.

While the husband eventually found Nampijja and the children and threatened her to take him back, she was able to stand her ground because she could provide for herself and the children without his support.

When he discovered that I had rented a room, he came shouting that I am a very complicated woman. How can I rent a house without his consent? He threatened that I would not manage to provide for the children without his support. That I should accept him to live with us again. He forgot that we had managed without him for three months ... He talked a lot but I also reminded him of all the ills he did to me. I told him about how peaceful I was in my room. I told him, 'when I was still at your place I was looking so miserable but currently you admire me'. I told him that our relationship ended long ago. He continued pestering me for a while but eventually gave up.

In contrast, Eva, who was entirely dependent on her abusive partner for survival, felt powerless to leave because she could not fathom how to start out on her own without his support, as she explained.

He does not beat, but insults and neglects me. I sometimes think of leaving, but then I think about the children; what will I feed them on, how about school fees. I have no job, so he provides everything for the home. He pays rent, school fees [and] buys food. Every time I think about leaving, I counsel myself to stay because I don't know where to start from.

As shown, having a source of income helped the women to support themselves and their children away from the marriage. In many cases, it offered choices and a way out of the violent relationships.

### *4.7. Intervention of a Significant Other*

Several participants relied on the support and assistance of significant others to leave their abusive marriages. These included relatives, neighbours and other community members. Some provided financial assistance to enable survivors to travel back home, while others helped them to find alternative places to go to (e.g., getting them alternative livelihood opportunities). Miriam, for example, benefitted from the benevolence of community members to escape from her abusive marriage and travel back home to her parents. Trapped in an abusive relationship over 200 kilometres away, Miriam could not raise the transport fare to return home. She was only saved by a concerned and kind neighbour, who mobilised other community members to contribute 60,000 Uganda Shillings (USD 16.2) for her fare. Miriam had initially shared her predicament with this neighbour, who then reported the abuse to the village chairperson. Whilst the chairperson had cautioned Miriam's partner, the abuse had not stopped.

I shared my plight with our neighbour; she went to the LC [ Chairperson] and reported. My husband and his relatives were summoned and warned to stop mistreating me, but they never changed. Later, my neighbour mobilised people to contribute 60,000 shillings which helped me to travel back to my mother's place.

Another case shows how both the advice of others and their practical support could be important, but also that leaving was not always permanent. Tina finally managed to leave her abusive husband with the help of a sister, who tapped into her social network to find her an alternative place to live. Tina had initially fled her marital home during a physical fight with her husband and returned to her guardian (an aunt), but ended up returning when she realised that support from her aunt and other relatives was not as forthcoming as she had hoped.

I decided to go back to my marital home because of my child. I could not a fford to meet needs like soap to wash clothes, so life was a bit harder because no one could provide for me and my child; everyone was minding their own business.

However, the cold reception she received from her husband on her return convinced the sister who had escorted her to reclaim her marital home that he would not change. She immediately advised Tina to leave her marriage for good and linked her to a friend who was willing and able to take her in.

First of all, the words he used on seeing me back with my sister [accompanying me] were very vulgar. He also told us that he is his own boss; no one gives him orders in his home. He arrogantly mentioned that when he marries a woman, her money becomes his own money. You know my sister had advised him to change his behaviour, that is why he was saying this. After saying all of those things to us, my sister realised that the man would not change; she advised me to leave him for good. She took me to her friend's home because she [my sister] was married and it was inappropriate for me to go to her marital home. The friend where she took me was older than [both of] us, and not married, so I began a new life with her. I would fry samosas with her every morning and deliver them to di fferent shops for sale, then she would pay me some little money.

There were a few cases where relatives removed women from an abusive marriage, but not principally because their husbands were abusive. Rather, because their partners had not paid the bride price. Bride price includes material items (e.g., food, cows, goats, clothes) and money that the bride's family receives from the groom and his family to legitimise and validate the marriage. Viola was picked up and returned home on the instruction of her mother, after she learned that her husband was not ready to pay her bride price. "So my mother sent people to pick me, saying that if there was no bride price they should take me home; so they took me home," she said. Similarly, Angee indicated that her relatives had removed her from her marital home because her partner could not pay *luk* (a fine for producing children with a woman without paying bride price). She related, "I was married but my people took me away from him [my partner] because they wanted him to pay *luk* then he did not pay so now, I have moved on."

While several relations helped our respondents to leave violent marriages, some were instrumental in encouraging them to stay. These relations typically encouraged the survivors to endure because IPV is integral to married life. Some of them cited the violence they experienced in their own unions to show that it was a "normal" pattern in marriage. Tina told of how her aunt talked her into staying when she learned that she wanted to leave a few months into the relationship.

Whenever he would find me with his brother, he would beat me up severely. I decided to ask him to let me go to my grandmother since the pregnancy was almost due ... He refused me to go. So after some time my aunt came; I think he is the one who called her. She told me, 'You will have to endure all the pain and su fferings, because we also passed through such trials; that's marriage.' I told her but aunt, I am tired of this situation I won't be able to endure. She then told me, 'it is the pregnancy that is making you feel and look like that.'

Eighteen-year-old Nemaite told of how the adult women she has befriended during her marriage of two years keep advising her not to leave on the premise that she will find no better man.

Yes, I have made friends, but all of them are mature adult women; some are my neighbours. The only advice they give me is that I should stay in my marriage despite the challenges. That all men are like that; I am not going to find any special angel.

Essentially, interventions of significant others may be seen as a double-edged sword that can either encourage survivors of child marriage to leave or stay in violent relationships.
