**5. Results**

### *5.1. Category A. Reasons for Staying in an Abusive Relationship*

A1. Shame. Shame appears as one of the reasons that these mothers/victims present for having remained in the abusive marital relationship. They say that revealing to their family or society that they were victims of violence was something that embarrassed them; they chose not to report, or request help in ending, the violent relationship, eventually accepting the consequences of it—"*But at the time it was a shame to be a single mother, so I had to get married*" (P1); "*I didn't go to the hospital and I should have gone because my nose was uneven and I didn't go because it meant showing my face, so my parents would find out*" (P4).

A2. Marital commitment. The idea that marriage should be something that lasts forever has led some of these women to postpone the termination of the abusive relationship for a long time. Divorce was seen as negative and therefore completely rejected, anticipating that, once separated, they would not be able to rebuild their life—"*I myself thought, years ago, that whoever is at home is forever*" (P1); "*I never got divorced* ... *I don't know* ... *we had been married for many years, we had a good life*" (P5).

A3. Fear for her children. The psychological pressure to stay in the relationship may arise out of fear that something negative might happen to the children or because of fear of being accused of distancing them from the father, harming them even more—"*I no longer wanted to be with him and I would have ended it all, but he said such bad things, and about our son, and I felt so bad that I went back to him*" (P9); "*I was married to him for 12 years and I let a lot go because of my daughter. I was afraid that my daughter would miss her father*" (P14).

A4. Belief in partner's behavior change. Despite the suffering they went through, some of the victims remained in the abusive marital relationship because they liked their partner and hoped that he would change his aggressive behavior, and, in this way, their relationship would have a new beginning—"*I asked for retirement, with the intention that things would improve. I thought that when I was at home it wouldn't happen that much* ... *but no, it continued*" (P1); "*I was separated from this person for 3 years, but I came to believe, accept and forgive, and before I met a new person, I thought I would give him another chance*" (P4); "*In my thirst for 'this time everything will be fine', I let things happen*" (P13); "*This started badly, but I liked him so much that I tried to make the relationship work*" (P15).

A5. Economic dependence. For some victims, lack of economic capacity is an obstacle to ending the marital relationship. Factors such as low wages/pensions and lack of employment were identified as important to not being able to support a home with their children on their own without the financial

support of their aggressors, thus subjugating themselves to their abusive relationship—"*I had nowhere to go, I have 300 euros of retirement, it was worthless*" (P5); "*I endured the relationship for a long time because of her, for my daughter, I had no work and nowhere to go*" (P6); "*I was afraid to separate from him, I was afraid to face everything alone, expenses, to support a daughter alone*" (P7); "*So when I get divorced, I have to leave. Now with 200 or so euros, how can I get out of there? I cannot! On top of that, I don't work, I can't get a job when I'm 51*" (P10); "*I don't have the money to leave the house with my daughter and go to a new house*" (P12).

### *5.2. Category B. Reasons to Leave the Abusive Relationship*

B1. Family support/approval. Some women reported that the approval and family support they received were the factors that led them to decide to leave the abusive marital relationship—"*The fact that my parents were here at the time, helped a lot, because I had no family support and, when they knew what was going on, they always helped me*" (P8); "*One day I spoke to my daughter, I explained the situation to her and she agreed with me. She said 'mom, it's better*'. *I was waiting for her approval to put an end to it*" (P14).

B2. Intolerance/weariness of situation. Other factors that contributed to a victim leaving their abusive marital relationship were a growing intolerance to abuse and a consequent weariness resulting from their continuous experience of aggression by their partner—"*I tried, fought, but one day I woke up and thought I can't be like this. I couldn't be a victim all my life*" (P1); "*Today I get a slap, tomorrow I have a knife stuck in my chest. I don't want to be a victim anymore. My mother was also a victim; I didn't want to have the same life as her*" (P3); "*I got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore (* ... *) until I couldn't stand it*" (P6); "*But I couldn't take it anymore and I ended up leaving. Things were no longer working out between us and the relationship was not healthy. I preferred to leave*" (P9); "*It was just possible to see the person he was with di*ff*erent eyes (* ... *) when I discovered the things he did, my love started to turn into anger and disgust*" (P13).

B3. Protection of children. Some mothers report having abandoned the abusive relationship to protect their children, because they felt that they were being harmed by domestic violence and did not want children to grow up in the violent environment—"*It was no longer possible for my children to live in that situation, it was no longer possible*" (P2); "*Because I didn't want my daughter to live in the midst of violence (* ... *)*" (P7).

B4. Children's request. One participant revealed that the abandonment of the abusive relationship with her partner was due to a request from her son—"*When I was assaulted again, my son asked to leave, and I said yes (* ... *)*" (P4).
