**Table 2.** Research results.

*3.1. Diminished Individual & Family Functions Due to the Past*

3.1.1. Unstable Attachment between Parents and Children Due to Long and Repetitive Separation

The main way in which the subjects entered into the South was the 'pre-entry of parents and then the entry of children'. Most of them experienced separation from their children during the process of defection. The period of separation varied from one to ten years. For them, it was the best choice—to bring their children South after establishing a safe escape route and settling down. Unfortunately, such a long-term separation weakened the attachment between the parents and their children. During the time they were separated, the children tended to feel betrayed, had thoughts that they wouldn't be able to join their parents, and experienced both longing and resentment toward their parents, which negatively affected parent-child relations after the reunion.

*"At that time, I chose that way—the pre-entry of parents and then of their child—for my kid, but I guess it was a hard time. Whenever there's a conflict between us, the kid tells me about the experience at that time, getting mad at me."* [Participant A]

*"I finally got a chance to meet my kid after four years, but he didn't want to talk to me for three months. I tried to have a conversation but he almost refused* ... *[skip] He kept behaving in that way, which made me stop trying to put e*ff*ort into him."* [Participant E]

### 3.1.2. Emotional Disorders of Parents Caused by Traumatic Events

Most of the participants in the study experienced trauma in the process of escaping. One of them witnessed their daughter being shot to death during the escape; another was tortured at an NK detention facility after being arrested. Other participants also experienced a serious life crisis during that time. They experienced severe after-effects such as depression, isolation, and PTSD from past experiences, and it directly affected their parenting. Participant B confessed that she struggled with the trauma and couldn't do anything for three months, which eventually made her abuse her child badly. Participant D said that after the dangerous defection, she became aggressive and her sense of victimization became very severe. This emotional condition had a negative impact on child-rearing, with her becoming sensitive to the child's words and behaviors, and becoming a person who easily go<sup>t</sup> mad at her child's tiny mistakes.

*"The previous memories repeatedly coming to my mind, I couldn't do well in my daily life for several months. I felt depressed, sad, lonely* ... *and I didn't even want to see my child playing. So I sometimes hurt him."* [Participant B]

*"Since past trauma experiences, I've become angry and impulsive. So I was more likely to be mad at my kid, hurting him by talking in a bad way."* [Participant D]

### *3.2. Acculturative Stress in South Korean Society*

### 3.2.1. Stress Expression and Transfer during the Child-Rearing Process

NK refugee parents were found to be very stressed by South Korean society. They were filled with depression and fury by the discrimination, exclusion, and tendency to recognize them as 'strangers' that they faced in South Korean society. This situation made it difficult for them to think normally and exacerbated even small problems in the child-rearing process. Participant E, whose defection motivation was for her 'children's future,' transferred the stress and the related emotions that occurred during the adaptation process onto her children. Sometimes she threatened to send them back to China. In this way, the children became the object of their parents' anger. Participant C said that excessive stress brought about in the process of adapting caused a sense of helplessness in her life, which led to the neglect of her children.

*"It's not easy to live in South Korea being treated as a 'stranger' and I ended up getting angry at my child. Thinking of it, it was not a big deal* ... *(skip) but I said a lot of acrimonious things to him. When I was angry, I even told him that I'll send him back to China, and one day he said it really hurt him."* [Participant E]

*"The pressures* ... *I gave all to my child. Even if my child was hungry, I left him alone."* [Participant C]

In the case of participant A, the more stressed she felt in South Korean society, the more obsessed she was with her child's performance and success, recognizing 'children' as the only factor to ge<sup>t</sup> out of the stressful reality. This led to excessive interference and control of her children's behavior, and to her raising them under strict discipline and with corporal punishment.

*"Well, I thought living here, in South Korea, after all the tough times, would be worth it only when my kid succeeds in his career. So, I think I've become more obsessed with him."* [Participant A]

### 3.2.2. Conflicts Due to Di fferences in Adaptation Levels between Parents and Children

NK refugee children have turned out to be relatively less stressed and faster at adapting to life in South Korea than their parents. These di fferences in adaptation level are found to cause di fferences in values between parents and children, and to eventually deepen the conflicts between parents and children. In the case of participant C, her children, who adapted quickly to South Korea, had a high level of comprehension in democracy, human rights, and equal family culture. And when facing conflicts, parents felt ignored or challenged to exert parental authority over their children who claim these values. These feelings have led parents to more strict discipline and corporal punishment than ever. Some North Korean parents also thought that abuse had the e ffect of weakening their children's rebellious behavior, which led them to stick to abusive parenting or to gradually increase the level of their abuse.

*"They've already changed quickly after entering South Korea. One day, my child talked back to me about equality and human rights, and I don't now why* ... *but I felt unpleasant, so I scolded him."* [Participant C]

*"As my child has grown up, I thought that my authority had become ignored and challenged by him. Sometimes I hurt him physically as I thought he'd keep ignoring me if I don't scold him."* [Participant B]
