*April 2020*

*I have varied experiences when it comes to marking Sikh festivals and events. Growing up, I remember taking the morning o*ff *school and attending the Gurduara with my dad. Later in the evening there was always lots of food of the fried variety, like hand made samosas and pakoras, (these were the days before filo pastry spring rolls). As an adult I also experienced living solo in cities where I was the only visible Sikh and with the nearest Gurduara a 3 to 4 h drive, so I guess the lockdown was not an entirely new experience. I had been working for a while on making sense of what religion and faith really meant to me. What really matters? (I feel now) is the intention or unsung force behind how things are done. Getting intentional is important, thoughts*/*words*/*actions, conscious or otherwise, impact at the particle level, such that an action may appear the same at the surface but can provide very di*ff*erent respones. Confession time: I often rush through when I recite a prayer before eating, during the lockdown I noticed I was a bit more deliberate in my prayer, there was no change in the words I used but I felt grateful and often added a spontaneous 'thank-you' prayer at the end of the meal.*

*So, is there a 'right' way of doing things? and if so, what makes it 'right' as opposed to a 'wrong' way of doing things? Can I map the process or create a checklist to ensure a good outcome? Is a checklist my ego's way of asserting control? Does a checklist deny and override my intuition? If yes, then how much external guidance and structure is necessary to still enable my intuition to carry forward my actions with integrity?*

Sikhi has slowly been infused into the fabric of my body home through music and Gurbani. My brick home lovingly amplifies what is created within it and my close networks have formed as an extension of that. Through my conversations with others, I recognize my privileges. I live in a safe, comfortable, spacious environment. I am able bodied and autonomous. I have the skill, ability, and time to read, research, and ponder gurbani, and play and sing gurbani kirtan. All of these have made the lockdown transition only a minor glitch in the 'matrix', where, to my five senses, everything appears the same but I *know* something has shifted in the fabric that makes up my world.
