*3.7. Look after Yourself*

Professionals themselves are on lockdown, so they might have their own children at home, who they are caring for and helping with school work. They are in virtual visits with families, hearing about their difficulties and worries. Many families' struggles are not about things professionals can necessarily help with. Family-centered professionals can problem solve (solution find, in RBM language) with families, but families might, especially now, just need someone to listen—and listening to difficult situations can be draining.

It is important, therefore, for professionals to keep their expectations appropriate. They should approach each virtual visit with a goal of providing encouragement, a listening ear, and some information, not of solving a problem.

The NSF can help professionals feel a sense of control over what sometimes seems a chaotic way of supporting families. If you know you are going to have to write down what we did today, you will record and reflect on the major topics of your virtual visit. Furthermore, the commitment the family makes, even if it is only one strategy—maybe even one they are continuing—again helps you feel the visit was productive. Finally, with a few or many visits a day, a professional should tell someone about a success, preferably the professional's success, not simply the child's or family's. You could tell a family member, a friend, a colleague, or a supervisor. With a supervisor, you could say, "I'm not seeking advice or help. I simply want you to hear about a success I had because you understand my work." Looking after yourself by keeping expectations appropriate, using the NSF, and telling someone about a success will help you keep up your strength to help families.

Professionals might also need to engage in self-care: What do you do for yourself, to refill your bucket and to stave away the anxiety of the lockdown, the coronavirus, the changed home environment, and the problems of families? If you cannot think of something healthy to do for yourself, find something. One of us has taken to walking for an hour up and down hills in the woods every morning. What you do for yourself does not have to be about work. Can you say to yourself, "You are a great home/virtual visitor, this is hard, and you are a caring person"? We are all different and what fills our bucket differs, but this is a time where we need to be aware of our own needs and whether we are meeting those needs.
