*5.2. Ritualizing Birth: Secular and Humanist Naming Ceremonies*

In Western contexts we also see the emergence of secular or humanist naming or welcoming ceremonies for babies. This ritual, inspired by traditional baptism, is a re-invented way of welcoming the baby into one's community. European humanist organizations, such as Humanists UK14 or the

<sup>14</sup> https://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/namings/blog/what-is-a-humanist-naming-ceremony/.

Norwegian Humanist Association15, offer this ceremony as an alternative to a traditional, religious baptism. The motivation for a baby naming is described as "[p]eople choose to have a humanist naming ceremony because they want to bring family and friends together to celebrate one of life's key milestones. They are ideal for families who want to mark the occasion in a way that isn't religious."<sup>16</sup> The ceremony takes between 20 and 60 min and can be accompanied by a humanist or secular celebrant. In the United States, the Celebrant Institute provides celebrants across the country who can create and perform a baby naming.<sup>17</sup> A naming ceremony is personalized and uniquely created for each family. Parents and other significant others can, for instance, state their hopes and wishes for the baby. Music and readings can also be part of the ceremony. Some physical symbol might be given to the baby, such as for guidance or something that the child can open or read later in her life. 'Guideparents' might be presented to the community and they can also express their wishes to the baby. As this ritual is individually crafted for each family, the location, length, content and other ritual elements are chosen for the occasion. The naming ceremony is presented as an alternative to a religious baptism or christening. On the websites of the secular and humanist celebrant institutes<sup>18</sup> one can find ideas and examples from naming ceremonies, such as poems to choose from (see Figures 1 and 2).


**Figure 1.** Example of a poem for a humanist naming ceremony.

In Norway, where humanist ceremonies are held for about 3.7% of all newborns (a total of 2248 naming ceremonies in 2015)19, the naming of babies is a collective ceremony where a group of babies are named at the same time. The babies are mostly 4 to 12 months old. The parents do not need to be a member of the Norwegian Humanist Association to name their baby in a humanist ceremony. Some parents choose the baby to wear a traditional white baptism dress, which is a reference towards traditional religious baptism, while others choose other clothing. There are no restrictions to what the baby should wear.

<sup>15</sup> https://human.no/om-oss/english/ceremonies/.

<sup>16</sup> https://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/humanist-namings/.

<sup>17</sup> http://www.celebrantinstitute.org/family-children-ceremonies.html.

<sup>18</sup> https://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/namings/blog/poems-for-a-humanist-naming-ceremony/.

<sup>19</sup> Norwegian Humanist Association 2015, personal communication.

Swiss secular celebrant Gordon-Lennox (2017) writes that naming ceremonies generally serve two functions: "First of all, the newcomer is publicly received into the group. Second, the group implicitly or explicitly acknowledges its responsibilities for the new person" (p. 94). Gordon-Lennox (2017) further elaborates ingredients for a meaningful ceremony, such as promises, symbolic gestures and music "that are coherent with the values of the parents [which they] want to transmit to their child" (p. 95). Moreover, she advises to include a pledge from the guideparents. She also stresses that it is important to choose material that is sincere, touches people's emotions and is not "nice for the parents", such as a classical music piece. Instead, parents should choose music that a child would choose. According to Gordon-Lennox, the newcomer is at the center of the naming ceremony, but in relation to her parents. The other significant people, such as aunts and uncles, grandparents and friends, stand around that relationship between parents and child. An example of parents' promises can be found in Figure 2.

The description of wishes for Lucy shows that the parents make promises to the child ('to love and not to cling') and they position themselves in their intercultural context ('to share the best of both cultures'). These promises are individually crafted for each child. The naming ceremony is an example of re-inventing a traditional ritual while giving more space for personal choice and preference. Especially when the ceremonies are crafted specifically for one family, such as in the UK or US, parents have lots of options to choose from. Having a collective naming ceremony, such as in Norway, however, underlines the communal aspects of welcoming and celebrating the arrival of a newborn together with other babies and parents. The dynamics between individualism and collectivism become visible in this ritual.

The focus of secular naming ceremonies is on unique wishes and aspects of the self. The newborn is a unique, new person. However, at the same time, the choice for a naming of the baby in a family setting acknowledges the importance of community in the baby's life. The newcomer is acknowledged within a social group. The stating of promises of parents and guideparents are examples of how the good life is ritualized in the naming ceremony. Parents choose what kind of elements they think are meaningful, such as music, text or a physical symbol. Therefore, the naming ceremony also reveals ritualized strategies of giving meaning to birth and this new life, as well as notions of spirituality. The wishes for the baby express a search for meaning and confrontation with the mysterious, as well as moral obligations. What we consider a good life is what we wish for the baby. Furthermore, the ceremony shows the importance of responsibility in the life of the baby, also revealing one's social bond to the baby. Becoming a guideparent gives the person a special role in the baby's life. During the ceremony this role is enacted among family and friends. A naming ceremony is a celebration: it focuses on the joyful aspect of a child coming into the world. At the same time, there is also space for seriousness and reflection, which makes this social gathering different from a party. Having a naming ceremony, presenting the newborn to society or one's community, is possibly a way of dealing with the unknown or mysterious aspect of spirituality at birth: the baby's future is yet unknown. This little person is still a stranger, but by expressing one's values and wishes for the future, giving her a name and acknowledging her relationships and status in the community, this unknown future becomes somewhat more concrete and is established in relation to others. The naming ceremony illustrates how natality (Arendt 1958) is enacted into symbolic form. The newcomer, the baby, is celebrated by her community, and the new roles in the life of the child, such as parents and guideparents, enact their roles in the life of this new member of society. The relationship with this yet unknown person is made more concrete and tangible. Parents have the opportunity to state what their wishes for her future will be and how they hope their relationship will develop.

## **6. Discussion**

The question of this article was: what can we learn from ritualizing pregnancy and birth about notions of spirituality at the start of life? First, I discussed some philosophical perspectives on birth. Mainly, natality and embodiment were discussed in relation to meaning making and the changing ritual and social-cultural contexts of birth in Western, secular societies. A discussion of Ammerman (2010) notions of spirituality in relation to birth has shown that birth is related to fundamental existential and spiritual questions. The descriptions of emerging rituals, the mother's blessing and naming ceremonies, furthermore, showed expressions of spiritual questions.

Analyzing these two cases brings forward the importance of understanding the role of embodiment in meaning making of pregnancy and birth. The here described cases of ritualizing pregnancy and childbirth show the importance of the use of body techniques in creating meaning for new life (Crossley 2004). During a mother's blessing the body of the pregnant mother-to-be is pained on or the belly is casted. The sitting in a circle with a group of females puts the bodies of women at the center of a shared, intimate space. In order to participate in a mother's blessing, one needs to possess specific "embodied cultural competencies" (Crossley 2004, p. 35), which means (1) having a significant bond with the mother-to-be, (2) being a female or having a female body and (3) being pregnant (in case of the central actor). During the mother's blessing, the pregnant body is central in the ritual action. In the naming ceremony the embodied presence of the baby is also at the center: it is of importance that the baby is physically presented to the world. People want to hold the newborn, which gives them a sense of significance in their relationship with the baby. As birth is the beginning of new life, these new rituals also enact this new beginning by presenting hopes and wishes for the future, which represents the meaning of natality (Arendt 1958).

Both ceremonies are social gatherings at the start of life. One during pregnancy and the other after the baby is born. The wishes and promises that are symbolically enacted during the ceremonies show that the pregnant mother and the newborn are acknowledged by the social group. The pregnant woman and the fetus are both in a state of *liminality* (Turner 1969). They are in transition. The social acknowledgement of the mother and baby manifests at birth. Through ritual action this new, unstructured state is made more tangible. The mother's blessing reveals notions of *communitas*: an equal, temporal, cohesive sense of togetherness (Turner 1969). The mother's blessing focuses strongly on a specific population or group and the present women participate actively and equally during the different ritual parts of the ceremony. The sitting in a circle or the floor embodies this equal state. Research by Burns (2015) has shown that the female community is an important element in this ritual. To be able to interpret in greater depth to what extent notions of *communitas* and spirituality are experienced during these re-invented rituals would ask for a more in-depth interview study. In an ethnographic or interview study one can ask more specifically about the extent to which women do experience the mother's blessing as spiritual.

An interesting, or perhaps even paradoxical, characteristic of these newly emerging ritual fields is that the social gathering is often personally chosen by the mother-to-be or the parents. This differs from traditional ritual, which is embedded and embodied in the community. These new rituals are introduced by those who are at the center. The community that is enacting the ritual needs to learn and embody the ritual, often for the first time. It would be interesting to investigate more how these new forms of ritualizing influence notions of *communitas*. A ceremony is an intentional social interaction, but to what extent does it 'succeed' within these new ritual fields?

Re-inventing pluralistic ritual also brings forward complex and sensitive questions about cultural exchange. Analyzing the mother's blessing, which in many descriptions is referred to with the traditional term "blessingway ceremony" and the openness towards how it is inspired by a specific culture, the Native American Navajo (Biddle 1996), ponders to what extent we need to discuss the topic of cultural appropriation.<sup>20</sup> One of the websites describing mother's blessings says: "Out of respect for the Navajo I will use the name blessingway"21, but also, "The Navajo don't approve of the name being used".22 Another article explicitly uses the term "cultural appropriation" in discussing this new ritual: "It's also is the perfect opportunity to engage in meaningful research and discussion on the topic of cultural appropriation. Be aware of the language you use and whom it belongs to and consider where certain rituals originate. Talk to the people whom they belong to, respect them and pay them if appropriate."23 The author also states that already in 2004 Navajo feminists had drawn attention towards their dissatisfaction with the term being used in this new ritual context and that they rather suggest the term "mother's blessing". Another blogger who describes her experiences with her mother's blessing writes that she believes it is possible to be inspired by indigenous ritual, but also that "we must never commodify it, or use it tokenistically".24

Cultural appropriation is a complex issue, broadly defined as "the use of a culture's symbols, artefacts, genres, rituals, or technologies by members of another culture" (Rogers 2006, p. 474). What is most important in understanding cultural appropriation is that it happens when there is a power distance or power relation. Cultural exchange, defined as "the reciprocal exchange of symbols, artifacts, rituals, genres, and/or technologies between cultures with roughly equal levels of power" (Rogers 2006, p. 477), is an ideal version of multi-cultural exchange. However, in the case of the mother's blessing we may rather speak of cultural dominance, defined as "the use of elements of a dominant culture by members of a subordinated culture in a context in which the dominant culture has been imposed onto the subordinated culture, including appropriations that enact resistance." (p. 477). As Native Americans have been forcefully repressed by the White dominant culture, it is striking that today these traditional rituals are re-used by the same cultural group that has been repressing the culture in the first place. The subject of cultural appropriation remains complex and might not be solved with a short statement such as "this is not allowed", but in ritualizing and re-using and re-inventing rituals in Western societies, we need to discuss the topic of cultural appropriation more. What is ethical ritualizing? What can be used in new rituals and what requires deeper thinking and more ritualizing? Grimes argues in an interview with Gordon-Lennox to not use the foreign and exotic in new rituals but to use what you are familiar with. Grimes states: ritualize "with the stuff in your drawers" (Gordon-Lennox 2017, p. 52). I think that the topic of cultural appropriation deserves more attention in ritual studies literature, when analyzing and discussing re-inventions of existing rituals.

Finally, the here analyzed rituals question whether we should speak of secular rituals here. The rituals both reveal references towards existing, religious ritual, such as the white gown during the baby naming or the re-use of traditional elements from other cultures. These new ritual fields express negotiations between the secular and religious, as well as different cultures. We might more accurately speak of pluralistic ritualizing. Rejowska (2020) writes on humanist weddings in Poland: "even when actors try to create a performance from the very beginning, references to some previous conceptions, traditions or particular symbols, are inevitable" (Rejowska 2020, p. 5). On the one hand, secular and humanist ceremonies are a movement against traditional, religious ritual, placing a focus on the individual within a social ritual (see Rejowska 2020). On the other hand, these rituals are clearly inspired by traditional, religious (Christian or native, indigenous) ritual. As Rejowska states, "humanist ceremonies function in a given cultural context and draw inspiration mostly from the Christian tradition" (p. 12). New rituals focus on the individuality and uniqueness of a person,

<sup>20</sup> https://newbornmothers.com/blog/mother-blessings-cultural-appropriation-and-what-to-do-instead.

<sup>21</sup> https://www.bellybelly.com.au/pregnancy/blessingway-what-is-a-blessingway/.

<sup>22</sup> Ibid.

<sup>23</sup> https://newbornmothers.com/blog/mother-blessings-cultural-appropriation-and-what-to-do-instead.

<sup>24</sup> https://lulastic.co.uk/parenting/readings-and-activities-for-a-mothers-blessing-blessingway/.

but at the same time they create a sense of community through this ceremonial social gathering and interaction. Ritualizing pregnancy and birth in secular societies reveals what Ammerman (2010) defines as "pragmatic plurality" (p. 156). For the sake of meaning making, people reach out to different sources, some of them secular, some religious.
