*3.8. The Curses of Robbed Momemts*

Welcoming an infant into a family is not only an experience for the new parents but is also a significant experience for extended family and friends. Feelings of loss as a result of not being able to be around other people during this time was shared by many of the participants. One significant finding was that parents felt "robbed" of the ability to share their baby with their extended family and close network. One participant noted that, although the peak period of the COVID-19 pandemic was a time for family learning and creating connections between herself, her partner, and her baby, it was also a time of negativity for her and her family. She stated that the pandemic "affected us negatively because as much as we love having our new baby all to ourselves, we are also longing to show off our new baby to our family and friends". She had the desire to share her new baby with others outside of her immediate partner. She further clarified what missing the shared experiences with her friends and family meant to her.

This pandemic has robbed us of so many other things, things that may not seem important to others. We had a photo shoot booked to capture pictures of her as a newborn, which was also cancelled due to the pandemic. I know in the grand scheme of things that is not a huge deal, but it does take a toll when it's something you were looking forward to.

She believed that many of the typical experiences of new motherhood, experiences she was looking forward to, had been robbed from her and it had "taken a toll". Although she recognized that these may be little moments in the "grand scheme of things" they were nevertheless moments or experiences that she valued as being an integral part of being a new mother and changing family. For example, the act of creating a family portrait through a professional photographer was lost to her and could not be recaptured. Although future photographs will happen, the opportunity to have photographs of her, her baby, and her family captured at that specific time is forever gone. Her baby will never be at this stage of life again.
