*3.9. The Curses of Limited Socialiation and Bonding*

Many of the participants said they were concerned that their babies would not be socialized properly. It was felt by many that the COVID-19 pandemic limited their ability to socialize their babies with people, including family, friends, and other babies. One participant said,

I am home with a now six-month-old. She is missing out on social interaction with family, friends, and other babies. I can't take my child shopping or to meet with other moms for coffee. I worry she will be overly attached to myself and husband, as we are who she sees outside of driveway visits from grandparents.

Another participant also spoke about the dichotomy created by staying home. On one hand, she expressed that "It was much easier to get into a routine. Without the constant onslaught of visitors..". However, she was also negatively affected, evidenced with the following statement, "With that being said, it was VERY hard to not have the grandparents over to hold their new granddaughter. Many tears were shed behind panes of glass".

In addition to the little moments that were lost and lack of socializing, another participant also believed she lost precious alone time with her baby, stating that although her family grew closer together she was also "sad that (she) was missing that alone time with my daughter". Time to be alone with her baby, without her partner or others, was valued by this participant. She believed that as a new mother it is necessary to bond with your baby alone. The public health orders for family members of the same households to stay together prevented this participant from experiencing alone time with her child. The participant mourned this missed alone time to bond with her child.

To understand this mother's experience, we need to look more closely at the meaning of alone time with her daughter. How had this ideal been constructed for this mother? Did she believe that she should be the main caretaker of her baby with the co-parent/father not so close? This can be viewed as a socially constructed discourse informed by heteronormative stereotypes of the roles of mothers and fathers [40]. Such discourse, also rooted in hegemonic gender binaries, often position women in the primary role of nurturer and the parent to bond with newborns. However, it is also possible that this mother valued time alone because it allowed her to more fully, holistically connect with her baby in a way that was unique to her and honoured her identity as a new mother. Following public health orders of staying at home brought out unique feelings about bonding and spending special time with one's baby. In contrast, other mothers spoke about the importance of their partners being able to spend time with their babies. Time that otherwise may not have happened without the isolation measures put in place as a result of the pandemic.
