**4. Discussion**

According to Foucault [41], language, discourse, and knowledge are concepts that are interconnected to (re)produce social meanings and practices. Feminist poststructuralism positions language as structuring the way things are thought, and the way people act on the basis of those thoughts. Language is, however, set within historical contexts and as a result, is not stable nor does language represent a truth or one meaning. Language has multiple meanings that change depending on the social and political circumstances in which people live [32,41,42]. Discourse, however, moves beyond language to represent the interrelated systems of social meanings and practices "that systematically form the objects of which they speak" ([41], p. 49). Discourses are constantly being re-created as people collectively think and talk in different ways about the world. Language and discourses, therefore, (re)create knowledge and knowledge (re)creates the way people speak, come to know themselves, and shapes their values, beliefs, and practices. In other words, the subject. We can never fully understand all the influences that affect our subjectivity [42]. The subject is "written and overwritten through multiple and contradictory discourses" ([43], p. 275). The subject can be thought of as a palimpsest, a manuscript on which the writing has been partially erased to make room for other writings but with traces of the original remaining [43]. This metaphor illustrates how a subject is constantly in process and being shaped; written through multiple discourses layered upon and affecting each other. The subject is not ever blank. There is no pre-discursive self as one is never outside the influence of discourses [43].

This research revealed that there were many social discourses that shaped how the mothers experienced their babies and their wellbeing during the self-isolation period of the COVID-19 pandemic. Discourses of productivity for new mothers, discourses of bonding and connections during the postpartum period, discourse of touching, snuggling, and breastfeeding, discourses of normalcy, as well as heteronormative discourses of gender were all revealed through the analysis of participants' responses. These discourses (re)shaped the experiences of the mothers reported in this study. The mothers' experiences were seen as either positive blessings, negative curses, or, more often, seen as a complex interplay of blessings and curses, as highlighted in the results. Discourses

of productivity, for example, created experiences for some mothers of freedom from the pressures associated with being a productive new mom, or as some participants said a supermom. This allowed them time to get to know their baby and time to enjoy living in the moment with them, a blessing of freedom. Discourses also created experiences that were negative or curses. For example, discourses of normalcy allow mothers to know and understand what is "normal" for their babies. Since the COVID-19 pandemic resulted in isolation many mothers felt that they were not able to connect with others to understand what is normal for babies. Participants also described the importance of special moments with babies, partners, and extended family. It is known that sharing and celebrating joys, moments, and successes together is vital not only to the health and wellbeing of families, but to the formation of collective and individual identities within the family [44].

Previous research has studied the experiences of both mothers and fathers during the postpartum, especially in the experiences of depression and mental stress [45]. In another study, it was found that mothers often expressed differences between their expectations of postpartum experiences, such as bonding, and their actual experiences [46]. It has also been previously reported parents often feel they need more support during postpartum under normal circumstances [45]. This research creates knowledge about the experiences of a group of new mothers during the COVID-19 pandemic. We can see that isolation created by public health mandates affected all participants in the study. While there were many similarities, there were also differences in how the limits and constraints of isolation affected each participant. This alerts us to the need to listen carefully to the unique relational experiences of mothers and families. Although the participants of this study were similar in many ways, consisting of birth mothers who were predominantly heterosexual, partnered white women within Nova Scotia, Canada, the findings can move beyond the local context and inform nursing practice holistically. Future studies could further explore the impact of COVID-19 isolation on the health of mothers and other family members through focus groups or observations. The postpartum time is a time of redefining family relationships, bonding, and changes in mood or mental health under the best circumstances, but our study suggests that these are heightened by mandatory public health measures of self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic, and informed by discursive considerations of postpartum.

The results provide deep insights into the way mothering can be understood within healthcare practices practice. Nurses and midwives are critical to influencing the way people experience their new babies. Literature suggests that supportive relationships with nurses during this period is crucial for new mothers [47,48]. We must attune ourselves as nursing professionals to recognize the complexity of experiences during the postpartum time and, in doing so, we will be able to provide more holistic service to parents both in usual times and under extreme circumstances, such as physical isolation and pandemics. By exploring both the positive and negative experiences, the blessings and the curses, of the participants, we can create an understanding that can inform nursing practice. We can develop strategies to help new parents to focus on the blessing of snuggling, bonding, and family connections, while also providing them with strategies to help with the curses.
