3.6.3. Subtheme 1.3: Loss of Previous Activities and Life at Work

The participants expressed the loss of and deeply missed activities that they previously enjoyed and that formed part of their sense of wellbeing. Murphy missed going to the gym and her massages. Tammy mentioned that she had become sedentary and missed being active and eating healthy food. Ebere missed being able to go to places like the hospital.

Amira mentioned missing in-person training, being able to interact with participants, and getting a feel for the room. She missed having the rapport of being with people in the office. "People don't get as much from virtual training as from in-person training", she explained.

Tammy experienced the loss of several jobs prior to and during the pandemic, caused by lockdown or the necessity to choose between work and life. She quit her job when her mother was living with her and having strokes in order to ensure that her mother received the medical care necessary to save her life. She lost two jobs because of lockdown and then quit a job during lockdown because she could not fully perform it and take care of her children and home life simultaneously.

#### *3.7. Superordinate Theme 2: Psychological Stress and Reboot and Seeing the World with New Eyes*

The pandemic had a tremendous impact on the psychology of the study participants and also changed the way they viewed themselves and even aspects of the world. Impacted by intense stress and even burnout, the participants got to know themselves and their strengths more deeply and discovered that they were perfectly capable of self-leadership.

#### 3.7.1. Subtheme 2.1: Intense Stress and Burnout

All four participants mentioned the increased stress that lockdown and the pandemic caused them. Tammy said, "It was really hard and I feel like I had it easy because I had help ... We are so tired, exhausted, done ... " Ebere spoke about the physical manifestation of stress during the lockdown as the pain in her right hand. Murphy recognized at a certain point in the pandemic, that everyone "was tanking" and organized an online fun party. She also spoke about "empathy burnout". Everyone was concerned about helping the students and professors, and Murphy wondered about the caretakers, such as her and her staff, and their mental health. "Who is caring for those who are caring?" Since she was one of the caretakers, responsible for the well-being of thousands of students, one may deduce she may have been referring to herself also.

*"There was a lot of psychological pressure", Amira explained, "emotional, social, just being in a bubble, not seeing anyone, being in our apartment days on end. It was really very challenging because there was no precedence. We were learning as we were going and learning to adapt as we were going. This is the first time it ever happened in our lifetime that we were locked in for days on end, not being able to get out of the house".*
