“It’s a Phenomenon in Our Community, a Phenomenon That Is Silenced”: Child Sexual Abuse and the Circles of Silence in the Jewish National Religious Community in Israel
Abstract
:1. Introduction
1.1. Educators Coping with CSA
1.2. CSA Prevention and Intervention Programs in School Systems
1.3. Coping with CSA in the National Religious Community
1.4. The Current Study
2. Methods
2.1. Participants
2.2. Procedures
2.3. Data Analysis
2.4. Rigor and Trustworthiness
2.5. Ethics
3. Results
3.1. “I Really Don’t Have the Words”: The Community’s Silence Surrounding CSA
Naomi described the silencing of CSA as a consequence of community members’ fear of the negative implications for the survivor and their family. CSA was seen as tarnishing both the child’s and family’s reputation in a manner that may influence the child’s future marriageability. Naomi described these aspects of her community as if observing it from the sidelines, while she expressed a contrasting set of values. She wanted children to have the tools to protect themselves and for the perpetrator to bear the consequences of the CSA rather than the survivor. However, there was no expression of hope that this wish might become a reality.This is a phenomenon in our society, a very difficult phenomenon that’s silenced […] I wish we could create some kind of resilience among the children so that they wouldn’t get hurt or give them the tools to protect themselves. I know that, by and large, in the religious sector, if “they know” [if the CSA incident is made public], then [the family thinks] “I might get hurt, my daughter won’t get married, the family will get a bad name.” I think it [the silencing] comes from these places, that people worry about what will happen to their children’s future. So, it would be like a stain, if our family was hurt […] it would hurt their marriage, hurt them […] In religious society, compared to secular society, the phenomenon of sexual vulnerability is even more silenced. Most of the time, parents are silent. They don’t want anyone to know, they’re ashamed. In my opinion, it’s sad that it’s like this. The feeling of guilt is on the victim instead of the attacker.
Similar to Naomi, Yair experienced silence surrounding CSA. However, unlike Noami, he was not on the sidelines but contributed directly to the silencing by perpetuating an educational style that did not invite and may have even inhibited open, honest acknowledgment. In parallel to his students, who failed to receive adequate support in this environment, Yair also did not have access to the proper professional or personal tools regarding CSA or other matters related to sexuality. This left Yair to cope with the phenomenon on his own, unsupported and uncertain of his ability to provide the appropriate care, guidance, and education for his students.These things overwhelm me. […] [The case of CSA] required from me pedagogic and caring skills that I am not sure I have. I wasn’t trained for this. Looking back, I am disappointed in myself in how I handled [the case of CSA that was disclosed] […] This is not a topic that is discussed at all in the religious community. There is almost no discourse or reference to it. At school, we, the staff, are in a mindset of accomplishments and, of course, Torah [the body of knowledge and law of the Jewish scriptures]. There are the sacred subjects [biblical studies] that take up half of the curriculum. There is no room for emotional discourse and certainly not for openness about sexuality. There is almost no support for students or dialogue on the subject. So, of course, there is also none for the educational staff. I think I’m starting to understand that maybe because we’re not open to the issue, we think it doesn’t exist in our community.
Like most of the educators, Arie experienced CSA as something undiscussed within the national religious community and described how this silencing negatively affected his personal and professional coping. Never having acquired the language or tools to cope with CSA and peer-to-peer sexual abuse, he did not intervene when he witnessed his student being sexually assaulted and did not disclose what happened to the school administration. The students were left with no assistance in dealing with the incident, and Arie was left feeling traumatized, guilty, and ashamed of his inability to support his students.It was a sight I will never forget. Shocking. And it really worried me… What is happening to him [the victim]? Maybe he understood what was happening to him? Maybe he felt it? Maybe he was hurt […] Because I really don’t have the words, like I said, I lack the words that I would need in the first place to even have such a conversation… There are people who understand this and know exactly what to say, how to say it… I don’t understand it. I don’t have a vocabulary like them… And really, that’s why I didn’t share it with anyone either… No counselor, nothing. Just this little incident I had in class. I believe I would have received help, but I’d have to ask for it, and I have no way to do that.
Tova’s positive interpretation of this communal silence in relation to CSA, which she perceived as a form of discretion, was distinct from the majority of the participants. She drew a connection between discretion and the Jewish religious value of refraining from slanderous speech. Thus, Tova placed trust in those community members she saw as responsible for handling CSA incidents and did not perceive the lack of shared information as silencing. It is possible that her authoritative role as a principal influenced her experience. Conversely, other educators, particularly the teachers, described feeling silenced in situations where they disclosed a CSA incident to the school principal and then received no further information.There are special places in our community that deal with cases of harm […] and I know that no one there knows anything. No leaks, no information. They write, “The case happened, it was dealt with,” and that’s it. It’s also a way of coping. The case is properly handled by qualified psychologists. Not neglected, not swept away, not ignored. If care is needed, care is provided. Those who need to receive care are taken care of… I think that in our society, at least in some places I know of, there’s a lot of respect for discretion in this matter. We do everything to not “whiten anyone’s face” [speak ill of a person in public]. I think there is extensive care. If things are taken care of and done properly, no one really needs to know what happened. It doesn’t contribute anything. Those who need to know, know; those who need to care, care; and that’s it. The rest know that the case has been dealt with, that’s what matters. I believe that if it’s necessary to turn to external parties, then it’s done. I’m talking about treatment after the reporting phase. It’s not swept away.
3.2. “[We Should] Help More Children Prevent It”: Sex Education as a Bridge between Silence and Protection
Although the culture of silencing within the national religious community, as discussed in the first theme, led Rebecca to feel uncomfortable with the subject of CSA, the responsibility she felt as an educator motivated her to stand against this uneasiness. Reflecting on her encounter with this CSA case, she wondered if perhaps protective sex education would have taught her student to be wary and, therefore, would have led her to be shielded from an abusive experience. In this way, Rebecca embraced the responsibility of educating her students about CSA. Education, in her view, comprises not only teaching her students not to harm others but also functions as a first-stage strategy to help them gain the knowledge and skills to “not be harmed”.[The incident] clarified for me that it’s my responsibility as a teacher to teach how not to hurt and not to get hurt. […] There are lesson plans about personal space and privacy and everything for prevention… It could be that if we were more dedicated to it, then she wouldn’t have gone with him. Even though she’s a girl who does what she wants for the most part, but maybe she would have recognized before going that it didn’t seem right that he was calling her somewhere else, and so maybe she would have avoided it. Like preliminary education.
Like Rebecca, Chaya stressed teachers’ responsibility to educate their students to protect themselves from CSA, while also calling for more resources and school support to do so.Give us [the teachers] the resources to deal with it and help more children prevent it. In my opinion, the procedures and the importance of learning about healthy sexuality and the body must be emphasized and refined. It’s not that it doesn’t exist, there are a lot of life skills classes, but I think that the emphasis should also be placed even more on teachers to encourage thinking and to encourage open dialogue among the students, and it’s important to have the full cooperation of the administration so that we know how to do it, when, how much, and why.
Yair shared how his community’s cultural and religious norms conflicted with his personal and professional commitment to protecting and caring for his students. He struggled when using language considered taboo due to its relationship with sexuality, a difficulty he framed using terms such as “modesty” and the Jewish concept of “beautiful silence”, which denotes that the wise know when to stay quiet and that speaking can often lead to harm. As in the first theme, where he described staying silent after his students’ CSA disclosures, Yair’s narrative was characterized by a struggle between conflicting impulses. Here, the contradiction was between his religious values and the importance he perceived in protective education.It’s a bit difficult for me to go into too much detail in front of you on the subject, for reasons of modesty [as a religious value]. But I strongly believe that it’s right to talk about the issue and to raise awareness, that’s why I’m here in the interview. The topic of education for healthy sexuality is not a particularly popular topic with us […] There are things for which silence is beautiful. First, in front of you [the interviewer] as a woman, for reasons of modesty, I can’t go into detail. Second, it’s hard for me to imagine [my students] in such a light. They are good boys and students.
Leah echoed the minority of educators’ voices who ascribed value to the community’s discretion. In Leah’s case, she did not perceive such an approach as silencing. She described teaching “life skills,” a term used in religious schools to refer to the curriculum that addresses sexuality. In teaching life skills, she used what she perceived to be more delicate terms and avoided what she deemed religiously inappropriate for her students. Thus, to maintain a balance between open discourse and religious values, Leah was highly attentive to an inner compass of socio-cultural acceptability.I don’t think there’s silencing or concealment. Maybe there’s an adapted, more refined language. You know, because, after all, we’re a religious state school, I won’t talk to the children about genitalia or relations between a man and a woman. It isn’t appropriate, and it isn’t in our curriculum for “life skills.” But there’s no silencing or enforced “modesty” [this is translated from the Hebrew word hatzana, from the root word of modesty, meaning repressing, concealment and hiding, generally used in taboo and sexual contexts] of sexuality.
Shira’s balance between education and religious values differed from Leah’s. To allow for more open dialogue, she created a separation based on gender for both the students and the teachers, designating a male teacher to conduct the discussions with parents on sexuality and sexual development. Interestingly, both Shira and Leah emphasized that these were not sex education classes and that sexual reproduction was not discussed, while, in the same breath, insisting that there is no silencing around sexuality in the community.In the sixth grade, we have workshops about menstruation and development in general. In the sixth grade, I teach girls about everything related to puberty. For both boys and girls. We brought in a religious guide who met with the boys three times and talked with them about sexual development, their bodies, what’s happening with them, and there was a reference to porn, to everything related to sexual arousal, how to recognize, what to recognize… It was actually a series of lectures… He also gave lectures at that time to their parents… It was specifically for boys, because for the girls, I provide what’s needed together with the educational counselors’ workshop… It’s true that we don’t have sex education classes, and I won’t talk to them about how children are made. But yes, about their physiological sexual development, about what it does to them, and about the exposure to porn if it does come up. I don’t see it as silencing. On the contrary, the more we talk about it in a healthy and correct way, the more children will grow up in a healthy and correct way, because sexuality is part of our development.
Shalhevet further described the educators’ dilemma and confusion surrounding sex education and discretion as they battle with the concerns that exposure to these topics, even in an educational context, could harm their students. This attitude reflected the religious taboos and perspectives generally shared by the participants, particularly the idea of “beauty in silence.” Even so, Shalhevet emphasized that, while it needs to be carried out carefully, open discourse with students is necessary to protect them and empower them to seek support.This topic is a bit confusing because, on the one hand, you really, really want to talk about it with the children. On the other hand, sometimes you don’t want to at all, because you think to yourself, whoever isn’t there, maybe, it’s not for sure that he needs to hear everything. You need to think very, very carefully about how you speak about it and how you maybe talk around it. But I think it [the discourse] already exists, but maybe we need to talk even more about the issue, so that the child does not keep to himself, that he needs to report.
3.3. “I Put Things on the Table”: Breaking the Silence and Making Their Voices Heard
Tova had a unique perspective on sex education and sexual discourse as she emphasized that, despite religious educators’ discomfort, it is important to use “real terms.” This level of directness contrasted with the adapted language referred to by other participants. Furthermore, she beseeched the school system as a whole, and the entire school administrative team to support both students and staff in this regard. Thus, Tova suggested a multi-faceted understanding and way to impact the silencing around CSA occurring within the national religious community.I took it on myself and on the staff to teach the topic of sexuality. In the first year that I started working, I brought lectures about sexuality to the school. All the teachers were present at the lectures. We brought teaching and learning materials and passed them on to the children, from first grade. Really, to give the teachers the appropriate tools. It wasn’t always easy for everyone. It is exceedingly difficult for a religious teacher to use words related to sexuality, but there was no choice. We learned how to use the real terms, not to sweep it under the rug, to put it on the table. The only way is to equip teachers with the appropriate tools and hope that, in the moment of truth, it will really work, that the children, in the moment of truth, will use the knowledge they’ve acquired. This is a language that has to be used in school. School hours must be invested in it.
While Sharon was confident in identifying as part of the national religious community, she was also adamant about the need for open discourse about CSA to be heard and understood by the community members. She perceived the community as having undergone a transformation towards increased openness and considered herself part of this process.I come from the national religious community, and I put the things on the table. I have no hesitation in that. With this issue, absolutely not! I think national religious society has gone through a lot of changes in these areas. It’s not what it used to be, when people didn’t talk about it and were ashamed and didn’t deal with it.
Like Sharon, Dana described a transformation in the community, a shift towards open dialogue and a commitment to coping with CSA. Yet, she emphasized that, in her view, there is still a long road ahead, which will require bravery and steadfastness in order to protect victims.I only have one wish: that all educational institutions will approach the issue of sexuality with courage and determination and not be afraid to talk to the students about it, in all its aspects, openly. As soon as there’s discourse, the shame disappears. It’s just like with drugs. In the past, talking about drugs was muktzeh [a Jewish religious legal term derived from restrictions on which physical items may be touched during the Jewish Sabbath, used here metaphorically to refer to a topic that is taboo and should not be touched]. Today it’s talked about openly, so the discourse and treatment of it are honest. Once a case is revealed, the path to healing and treatment is good. Whether for the victim, who can also become an offender, and definitely for the offender, who will stop his heinous acts […] There is still a long way to go, but we’re on the right course. There are still the extremists and conservatives, as in every community, but the center, the majority, and also the leaders of the community, are ready to speak it out loud and act against those who offend. There are many recent cases that prove this. I can’t believe that sexual abuse cases just suddenly started happening. I believe they were always there. What’s changed is the attitude and the courage to face the cases and the victims and tell them: “You are not alone.”
4. Discussion
4.1. Familial Justification
4.2. Religious–Spiritual Justification
4.3. Personal Justification
4.4. Implications of the Circles of Silence
4.5. Coping with CSA and Multiple Identities
4.6. Limitations
4.7. Implications
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Acknowledgments
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Sigad, L.I. “It’s a Phenomenon in Our Community, a Phenomenon That Is Silenced”: Child Sexual Abuse and the Circles of Silence in the Jewish National Religious Community in Israel. Soc. Sci. 2024, 13, 26. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci13010026
Sigad LI. “It’s a Phenomenon in Our Community, a Phenomenon That Is Silenced”: Child Sexual Abuse and the Circles of Silence in the Jewish National Religious Community in Israel. Social Sciences. 2024; 13(1):26. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci13010026
Chicago/Turabian StyleSigad, Laura I. 2024. "“It’s a Phenomenon in Our Community, a Phenomenon That Is Silenced”: Child Sexual Abuse and the Circles of Silence in the Jewish National Religious Community in Israel" Social Sciences 13, no. 1: 26. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci13010026
APA StyleSigad, L. I. (2024). “It’s a Phenomenon in Our Community, a Phenomenon That Is Silenced”: Child Sexual Abuse and the Circles of Silence in the Jewish National Religious Community in Israel. Social Sciences, 13(1), 26. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci13010026