Putting Lesbians in Their Place: Deconstructing Ex-Gay Discourses of Female Homosexuality in a Global Context
Abstract
:1. Introduction
2. Contextualizing the Movement: Interdisciplinary Scholarship
3. Compulsory Heterosexuality and Gender Structure Theory
4. Methodology
5. Quintessentially Masculine
6. The Individual Level: Detaching from Femininity as the “Root Cause” of Lesbianism
Etiologies of the “Lesbian Condition”: The Mother Wound and Sexual Abuse
According to my clients…The mom of a lesbian struggler…hid in bed under the covers when dad became abusive or rageful; was mentally ill and relied on her daughter to continually talk her out of committing suicide; didn’t even know the basics of housekeeping let alone caring for a baby or child; was a social butterfly and alcoholic leaving her little daughter alone and unsupervised; was unable to separate from an abusive husband; was a dutiful wife but a shell of a woman; bragged incessantly about herself and kids…hated being a woman, never shed a tear and despised…[or] was openly jealous of her daughter. These…describe a woman who is insecure, dependent, afraid of being alone, weak, lost and broken and underdeveloped in her own femininity. It is easy to understand why a daughter…might conclude that if becoming a woman means becoming like mom, she wants nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, in the girl’s detachment and flight from femininity…she too begins to live out a…crisis of her true gender identity…Many of my clients feel and believe they are not women. This is…an indication of their alienation from their inherent design as a feminine being.
My alcoholic father had a violent temper and would often hit my mother. Because my mom was a victim, I rejected anything to do with femininity and wanted no part of being a girl…I preferred sports over playing with dolls…I walked [and] talked like a boy…people often called me “son” or “young man”. I also hated my feminine name, Christine, and went by the more generic “Chris”.([79], p. 27)
damaged family relationships…abuse; misperceptions of the genders; same-sex peer relationships; positive portrayals of lesbianism…radical feminist ideologies; personality temperament; negative experiences with boys or [in] marriage; loneliness; parents’ hope for a son…pornography; and negative spiritual influences. Is there a lesbian alive who hasn’t experienced at least one of these?
Mike and I are always trying to balance the fact that there can be contributing factors, but that we are culpable, responsible for own decisions…the Lord…began to show me the depth…and the gravity of my sin, of all the people against whom I had sinned, and most significantly, the One against whom I had sinned...
7. Lipstick Ex-Lesbians
One of my most traumatic times…occurred during a “make-over” session…by the ministry leaders…Women tried on…makeup…to complement our skin, eyes, and hair…I felt like a performing monkey…but, with the encouragement of the other women…I persevered… learned to say “thank you” and smile...“You have believed a lie” God told me, “but I’m going to change your name”. From now on, He showed me, I was to be called “woman”…I entered into my rightful role as a woman of Christ…God is healing my views on men. Now I see them as having a major role in my life…I sensed God smiling at me.
…I rejoice when I look myself in the mirror and I see a different woman…from the woman I was in the past…The way I dress today, the way I do my nails, my hair, everything is different from the way I used to look in the past.
I looked like a stereotypical gay woman…very mannish…I show up to [FOCUS] every day in a skirt and panty hose and high-heeled shoes…I began to learn about the opposite gender…womanhood…I’m grateful for the changes that He made…on the inside, a Godly woman…[K]eep your eyes open for me for a tall red-headed man in his early 40’s who loves football and would look great in a Scottish kilt…I’m not married, but I would treasure marriage if the Lord has that…Scripture says that singleness is a calling as well, that undivided devotion to Christ…I love serving the Lord Jesus and being His hand maiden.
…a mentoring relationship or friendship with a few women who exhibit desirable qualities as women…comfortable with their femininity…so many women with SSA…assume that other women automatically know how to put together a nice outfit…style their hair…act in social gatherings with other women or men…As she requests, she might be given tips on basic hygiene and self-care, shopping strategies, stores and clothing styles, clothing budgets, nature of fabrics and color coordination, hairstyles, hair salons, hair maintenance and… products, body products, body treatments or undergarments. She should not be merely told about all of these products and services; she should be literally and sensitively escorted to a store or through a manicure…by her trusted friend.([49], pp. 275–76)
I believe that the most effective component of therapy with a female homosexual is the…therapeutic relationship formed between female counselor and client…as I love, accept and affirm my client…she can…develop as a female being.
Falling in Love with Jesus: The Heterosexual Imperative and Submission to Male Authority
Many lesbians…would greatly profit from small exercises in ordinary submissiveness, even—I hardly dare say the word!—in obeying; worse, in obeying the authority of men. Their preferred masculine role of dominance and independence must suffer some violence—exerted by themselves, by their own free will—if they are to feel what normal feminine “docility” and “softness” are ([122], p. 140)…The last step is the change from feeling and behaving like…the “ungirlish girl” to…a normal…woman…Becoming a man means…to take responsibility for and “lead” a woman…making decisions for a woman…the woman with a homosexual complex has to fight her infantile resistance to surrender happily her feminine role and to accept wholeheartedly the man’s leading role.([122], p. 147)
Christianity recognizes two ways…to express love…Christian singleness or…marriage…if we are called to be the bride of Christ…singleness is not a rejection of sexuality…[for] those who…forego earthly marriage in anticipation of…Heavenly marriage…[A]s a single person I am still waiting for a 10-carat on this hand but I’ll take two-tenths, I will take a cigar band at this point…
This is the starting point…[for] women…to get in touch with the heart of Jesus…a man free of sin and could never hurt or abuse her…there is great difficulty in trusting even Jesus. But He can overcome this. He…will just keep wooing her until she can begin to trust Him. So this is the first step in becoming free from a controlling spirit: starting to nurture her relationship with Jesus, gradually seeking to see Him as her friend, her protector, even her husband. Focusing on His nature and not her own needs…she starts to trust at least that one man—Jesus.but it may not lead to a trust of others…The spirit of control must die…she must let Jesus kill that thing…either a real demonic presence, or a deeply embedded rule of life…There will be pain…But through her failures and God’s faithfulness she will eventually know that…Jesus is offering to be her protector. To say no to Him is to say no to His love, to love itself…To say no to Him is to say no to…the life that He offers…It is rebellion. It is a sin…He will woo her until she can trust Him, and then He will call her forth to freedom and true womanhood, and He will give her a good place to dwell in. The goal is not marriage. The goal is obedience, becoming who God created us to be.
8. The Perils of Lesbian Existence: Compulsory Heterosexuality and Public Policy
A lesbian household presumes that fathers are not necessary, but fatherless families are associated with devastating social and personal problems, including youth violence, unsafe neighborhoods, domestic violence against women and child sexual abuse. Perhaps…the Scandinavian countries that have accepted marriage-like arrangements for same-sex couples have explicitly denied these couples access to adoption and/or artificial insemination.
The Committee expresses grave concern about reported sexual offences and murder committed against women on account of their sexual orientation. The Committee further expresses serious concern about the practice of so-called “corrective rape” of lesbians.([156], p. 18)
9. Conclusions: Place Matters
Acknowledgements
Author Contributions
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Robinson, C.M.; Spivey, S.E. Putting Lesbians in Their Place: Deconstructing Ex-Gay Discourses of Female Homosexuality in a Global Context. Soc. Sci. 2015, 4, 879-908. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci4030879
Robinson CM, Spivey SE. Putting Lesbians in Their Place: Deconstructing Ex-Gay Discourses of Female Homosexuality in a Global Context. Social Sciences. 2015; 4(3):879-908. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci4030879
Chicago/Turabian StyleRobinson, Christine M., and Sue E. Spivey. 2015. "Putting Lesbians in Their Place: Deconstructing Ex-Gay Discourses of Female Homosexuality in a Global Context" Social Sciences 4, no. 3: 879-908. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci4030879