The Experiences of African American Male Caregivers
Abstract
:1. Introduction
2. Materials and Methods
2.1. Study Design
2.2. Participants
2.3. Data Collection
2.4. Data Analysis
3. Findings
3.1. My Time to Take the Reins
3.2. Do What I Gotta Do
“You know, as we get older, you’re gonna be taking care of us, and you’re gonna have to take care of your brother after we pass on”. Another participant who was a caregiver to his mother stated ”I came to the realization that there wasn’t anything that I wasn’t going to do. I don’t know why I can’t explain how I came to that. But I’ve always given my mother a bath. I’ve always clipped her toenails and sanded the bottom of her feet. I’ve always helped get her dress; you know. So, it’s in-depth, you have to do everything from cleaning to cooking to (to) translating to transporting. Uh, it’s 24 h a day”.
3.3. The Heart of Caring
“It’s my responsibility… it’s my responsible thing, for me to take care of my mom. She’s been taking care of people all her life, and I’m going to take care of her now”, whereas another caregiver shared, “To be a caregiver is truly an unselfish role. This is a role for the unselfish. It’s not just anyone can do this. … you have to be unselfish. And think of yourself less”. Additionally, this participant shared, “The benefits of it [caregiving]… is to never have to look back and say that I wish I could have could have done this or done that. And to being able to feel good about… It ain’t always the leaning tree that falls. But right now, she’s the leaning tree”.
3.4. Spirituality/Religiosity
“But you know, he [GOD] says, ‘honor my mother, my father, honor thy father, though mother, as I have commanded’. So, that was… that piece for me was not an option. It was a command from God.” A different participant stated, “I just feel as though the (the) reward comes from Lord letting him know that I did all I could do to the best of my ability”. He further shared, “God will help me through it. And that has kept me … those kinds of things keep me centered, just knowing where to go… and a no-quit attitude.… and I said, without God in my life, I would have made a different decision. But because of that commitment to God, and her at the same time, it made all the difference. And… those seeds… see, this is the reality when I… when I give testimony… that’s… I tell people, the God that I serve is the reason I do what I do”.
3.5. It’s a Male Thang
3.6. Coping
“I’ll just put it in a nutshell, finding rest, finding peace, finding comfort, the ability to cope, I found it through messages and reading the Bible, and things like that would basically help bring me down to where I needed to be”. Exercise as a means of coping included taking walks, attending a gym, yoga, or bowling. As told by one caregiver: “I get outside of myself, you know, uh… That’s what I do… is I busy myself, I move a muscle, change a thought, to the best of my ability”. Three of the caregivers provided direct statements that underscored the “me time”, described as “alone time”, “peace and quiet”, “fishing”, “you time”, “meditation”, and “long baths”.
“So, my coping mechanism was to listen to that (that) therapist who said (caregiver’s name), you need to plan some time by yourself … for yourself… with things you enjoy”. Another stated “I talk with two of my friends. One is a psychiatrist, out of (university name). I have another one who is a therapist”. In contrast, one caregiver opposed the need for professional assistance. He gave this response: “No professional, not (not) okay? I won’t go unless I’m feeling a little something, something now. That’s the only reason I will go. And it’ll be for everybody else’s safety… not mine (laughter)”.
3.7. Cultural Aspects
“I was brought up, you know, to take care of your family. And I did come up with, you know, the man being the leader, the head of the house”. Meanwhile, another caregiver believed it was a son’s duty or a child’s duty to look after their parents: “So, it’s a dutiful; it’s a dutiful thing for me as well”. Lastly, one son offered the following statement: “There needs to be some immediate awareness made that it’s okay to decide to do your best to take care of your loved one… from a male perspective. It doesn’t make you weak; it doesn’t make you less of a man”.
“And I think, you know, the cultural aspect of being Black in America. And being a Black man in America, and the stereotypes around that, you know. How do I… like I said, I happen to be very lucky. Um, but I really don’t talk to anybody. In our culture, it is a woman that does the work [of caregiving], it’s, you know, you’re gonna, you’re… most of friends of mine, their wives take care of their mothers. I think that’s got to change; we’ve got to open up, we’ve got to evolve in our culture”.
3.8. Societal Perspective
“Most the time, women… you expect for women to be the caregiver. I think that’s what most folks expect”, as uttered by one participant. Another voiced “in this… today’s society, we have created a society where we are giving women a role to play and given men a role to play”; he also added “If you read the studies on girls and boys, boys are the most sensitive, which is why I think we’re taught to ‘man-up’ at a certain age, it’s the young boy that will go and hug their mom and go and hug their dad a little bit more than the young girl would, you know, do as children. So, men are compassionate… we’re just taught not to be”.
3.9. Support Systems
“I’ve had ‘em… I’ve had them trying to tell me how to run the house. Tell me what to get. Tell me what to do. And I’m like, wait a minute. Excuse me; you got it wrong. So, me personally, if I had someone to come in and take care of my mom. I wouldn’t want it because of what I’ve been through with caregivers. That’s just being very honest”. To add to this participant’s reflections of informal support, he further stated “Church… umph… you know, the church really bothers me. Because they always talk about calling, and gonna come see, and doing this and do that. And to be honest, they don’t do anything”.
“My daughter is a big help. If I call my daughter and say I need you to take (take) your mom for a little while, she usually does… no matter what she has to do. Grandchildren, the kids are old enough to be able to help her do those things”. Another stated, “So, my brother can come see my mother, cheer her up, he’s happy, go-lucky… come and go. My sister… she was involved with her kids heavily. So, we would make plans to where she would go there for the holiday or (or) stay for a month or two to give me a break or things of that nature. So gradually, my sister participated”.
“I’ve been debating it, but I just haven’t had time to do that right now. It probably would be good for me because I could hear from other people. But I don’t know of any, and I haven’t really tried to pay attention to it. I think there’s some Alzheimer’s groups around someplace”. Another stated “I never thought about it. Not too many men, and I know, do caregiving… or even think about it”. Finally, “I don’t think we have in our mind that there are support services available to us… And then the perception may be that if I avail myself to those services, how will I be looked at by my family and other people?”
3.10. Caring Amid a Pandemic
“When I wash dishes, for example, I normally use hot, hot (hot) water and everything. But now, COVID, I also put some Clorox in the water because I want to make sure that that even if I’m washing dishes thoroughly, that they’re thoroughly sanitized. We do (do) things to try to try to head off this COVID if it should happen to get around us”. Another participant stated “She (aide) comes with her mask; she puts a mask on; granny was putting hers on too. When stuff coming in, but I’m just saying my keys, my wallet, the doorknobs? I wipe the car down and all that I’m trying to do as best we can, you know, we keep wipes around in the house”.
“So, now I go to the hospital. And they tell me, I can’t, I can’t even stay with my wife. They tell me. And I gotta adjust to that?”
“That’s why I said,… this summer… this summer was rough with my mom. It really was… uh… no (adult center). The only company she was getting was her neighbors. And it was, it was (it was) something”. Another participant stated “They ask, can they come and do things but because of COVID, I don’t allow anyone in the house … because of my mother’s numbers” (care recipient has leukemia). Adding to this response, he stated “I’m just afraid that, uh, somebody’s coming in … they still have to go home to their lives. So, I don’t allow anyone (with emphasis) in my home”.
“I trust that when they say it’s ready (COVID vaccine), I’m ready. And so, I will be one that would take it… and Granny and (wife’s name) whenever they do it”. When faced with adverse comments from others regarding the vaccine, this participant stated “We all have to be at peace with whatever decision we make.… I said that’s fine… I say… I’ll be in line when it’s time to take the shot (laughter)”.
“Yeah, yeah… we’ve (we’ve) been … our community has been experimented on so many times. And I’ll just talk about the Tuskegee is there’s other things in history as shown that, that that that that that we’ve been? We’ve been targeted at times”. Another stated “So, I wouldn’t consider a vaccine that was created in a couple of months; that I feel is only geared towards people of color and poor White folks. I think we’re being used as test objects with that”.
“I know people invite me to cookouts and stuff like that, right? With this COVID thing going on. I say, ‘not my thing’. I don’t, (I don’t) (I don’t) get around a lot of folks. Plus, I can’t afford to bring anything back here to her. It makes you close your (close your) ‘circle the wagons’. It makes you close your (your) interaction with people. It’s closed to a certain (certain) group, okay? And then it closed my… closed mine even a little more. Because I can’t (I can’t) even … I can’t (I can’t) afford to bring some… or let someone bring something by here that does she don’t need … doesn’t need to get”. Another participant shared “Immediate family still comes over; otherwise, no other interactions. They come now (church members), they just come from the cars and leave; drops something off. So, there’s… everybody is wearing masks”.
3.11. Effects of the Caregivers’ Journeys
“Sometimes I just, uh… (umph)… don’t know, no, kind of rages… so, I’m not gonna say that I feel bad. But a lot of times, I just, you know, feel some… sometimes defeated, as to not being able to uh… you, know… stop this from happening (progression of mother’s dementia)”. Another participant stated “I might get stressed out. Might get a little frustrated. So, me as a caregiver, we sometimes take a lot of that verbal abuse because of their inability to do what they used to do. Sometimes when you take care of your loved ones, they seem to… sometimes can remember… sometimes the bad and not the good. What you have to be a caregiver, you have to just kind of keep pushing on… strive past it and kind of in one ear out the other”.
“And now… trying to get back into things, I got it, ‘cause stressors caused some cosmetic changes in me. So, I have to get some things done to me visually. And just the level of stress being a diabetic also, losing teeth because of the clenching and my mouth and the grinding. I am recovering from partial sight… eyesight from stress (points to the eye)”.
“I was commuting back and forth to (a city named). But because of the stress of that nursing home, commuting to (a city named) every day, except when I’d visit night shift, and then having to come straight from (a city named) and go help take care of my mother (which exacerbated my sarcoidosis)”. Another caregiver found a way to reduce his stress by learning to take time for himself; he stated “Sometimes I would plan days that I would leave the house, there would be a movie that I wanted to watch. I like watching movies and just sitting eating popcorn. And I would do those days, no one knew. Those days (were for) me. And I would just do them. That was, that was, my time”. Improvement in health is best exemplified by the caregiver who stated “We take care of each other really… It’s not that I just care for her because she helps me too emotionally. She’s a mother”.
4. Discussion
5. Limitations
6. Conclusions
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Concept/Topic Area | Guiding Questions |
---|---|
Caregiving Experience | What would you say it means to you, to be a male caregiver? What is it like for you to care for someone with a chronic illness or disability on a day-to-day basis? |
Caregiver Role | Some people, even though they provide a lot of care to another person, do not consider themselves as a “caregiver”; why do you think that is? Do you think of yourself as a caregiver? Do others (i.e., family members/significant others) think of you as a caregiver? Please explain. Can you share something about how you came to take on the caregiver role for your loved one? When did you first start being the caregiver for your loved one? What sort of care do you help with? |
Effects of Caregiving | Please share any difficulties you may have experienced since you began caring for your family member. Please describe what makes you feel stressed in your caregiver role. If you have stress, please describe how you cope with being a caregiver. |
Support Systems | Tell me about the kind of support you get from your family or significant other Tell me about any support you get within the community (i.e., church, support groups, etc.). There are many services available to support caregivers in the community; what types of programs have you been made aware of? Have you accessed these services/programs? If no, can you share why not? What type of support services would you say you need to maintain your caregiver capabilities? |
COVID-19 | Tell me how being a caregiver during COVID-19 has (a) affected you personally (i.e., socially, physically, emotionally, or financially); (b) affected your ability to provide the same level of care to your loved one? |
Summary | Thank you for taking the time to tell me about your caregiving experiences. Is there anything else you think I should know? |
N (%) | Min | Max | Mean | SD | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Caregiver Age | 13 | 38 | 77 | 58.9 | 9.13 |
Marital Status | |||||
Married | 6 (46) | ||||
Unmarried | 7 (54) | ||||
Education Level | |||||
High School | 2 (15) | ||||
Some College | 4 (31) | ||||
Bachelor’s Degree | 6 (46) | ||||
Graduate Degree | 1 (8) | ||||
Employment Status | |||||
Full-Time | 4 (31) | ||||
Part-Time | 3 (23) | ||||
Retired | 3 (23) | ||||
Unemployed | 3 (23) | ||||
Income Level | |||||
<USD 25,000 | 2 (15) | ||||
<USD 50,000 | 3 (23) | ||||
>USD 50,000 | 6 (46) | ||||
Declined to Respond | 2 (15) | ||||
Caregiver General Health | |||||
Excellent | 0 | ||||
Good | 7 (54) | ||||
Fair | 6 (46) | ||||
Poor | 0 | ||||
Years of Caregiving | 13 | 1 | 24 | 7.46 | 6.83 |
* Care Recipient Age | 16 | 58 | 100 | 81 | 11.91 |
Female | 12 | 59 | 100 | 82.1 | 12.14 |
Male | 4 | 58 | 89 | 78.4 | 12.30 |
* Care Recipient Disability | |||||
Dementia | 8 (61.5) | ||||
Impaired Mobility | 7 (64) | ||||
Coronary Artery Disease | 4 (31) | ||||
Stroke | 3 (23) | ||||
Cancer | 3 (23) | ||||
Visual/Hearing Loss | 3 (23) | ||||
Brain Aneurysm | 2 (15) | ||||
Diabetes | 2 (15) | ||||
* Care Recipient Relationship | |||||
Spouse | 2 (13) | ||||
Mother | 9 (56) | ||||
Father | 3 (19) | ||||
Sibling | 1 (8) | ||||
Grandparent | 1 (8) |
Theme with Subthemes | Informative Quotes |
---|---|
1. My Time to Take the Reigns | |
a. Do what I Gotta Do | |
“You know, as we get older, you’re gonna be taking care of us, and you’re gonna have to take care of your brother after we pass on”. | |
b. The Heart of Caring | |
“It’s my responsibility … it’s my responsible thing, for me to take care of my mom. She’s been taking care of people all her life, and I’m going to take care of her now”. | |
c. Spirituality/Religiosity | |
“But you know, he [GOD] says ‘honor my mother, my father, honor thy father, though mother, as I have commanded’. So, that was … that piece for me was not an option. It was a command from God.” | |
2. It’s a Male Thang | |
a. Coping | “So, my coping mechanism was to listen to that (that) therapist who said (caregiver’s name), you need to plan some time by yourself … for yourself … with things you enjoy”. |
b. Cultural Aspects | “Um, but I really don’t talk to anybody. In our culture, it is a woman that does the work [of caregiving], it’s, you know, you’re gonna, you’re … most of friends of mine, their wives take care of their mothers. I think that’s got to change; we’ve got to open up, we’ve got to evolve in our culture”. |
c. Societal Perspectives | “In this … today’s society, we have created a society where we are giving women a role to play and given men a role to play”. |
d. Support Systems | “My daughter is a big help. If I call my daughter and say I need you to take (take) your mom for a little while, she usually does”. |
3. Caring Amid a Pandemic | “She (aide) comes with her mask; she puts a mask on; granny was putting hers on too. When stuff coming in, but I’m just saying my keys, my wallet, the doorknobs? I wipe the car down and all that I’m trying to do as best we can, you know, we keep wipes around in the house”. |
“So, now I go to the hospital. And they tell me, I can’t, I can’t even stay with my wife. They tell me. And I gotta adjust to that”. | |
4.Effects of the Caregiver’s Journey | |
a. Stressors—Positive/ Negative Effects | “I might get stressed out. Might get a little frustrated. So, me as a caregiver, we sometimes take a lot of that verbal abuse because of their inability to do what they used to do”. |
b. Physical/Emotional Adverse Health Outcomes | “And just the level of stress being a diabetic also, losing teeth because of the clenching and my mouth and the grinding. I am recovering from partial sight … eyesight from stress (points to the eye)”. |
c. Benefits/Gains— Positive Health Outcomes.” | “We take care of each other really… It’s not that I just care for her because she helps me too emotionally. She’s a mother”. |
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Deskins, B.P.; Letvak, S.; Kennedy-Malone, L.; Rowsey, P.J.; Bedini, L.; Rhew, D. The Experiences of African American Male Caregivers. Healthcare 2022, 10, 252. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare10020252
Deskins BP, Letvak S, Kennedy-Malone L, Rowsey PJ, Bedini L, Rhew D. The Experiences of African American Male Caregivers. Healthcare. 2022; 10(2):252. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare10020252
Chicago/Turabian StyleDeskins, Barbara Pollard, Susan Letvak, Laurie Kennedy-Malone, Pamela Johnson Rowsey, Leandra Bedini, and Denise Rhew. 2022. "The Experiences of African American Male Caregivers" Healthcare 10, no. 2: 252. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare10020252
APA StyleDeskins, B. P., Letvak, S., Kennedy-Malone, L., Rowsey, P. J., Bedini, L., & Rhew, D. (2022). The Experiences of African American Male Caregivers. Healthcare, 10(2), 252. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare10020252