“He Just Doesn’t Want to Get Out of the Chair and Do It”: The Impact of Apathy in People with Dementia on Their Carers
Abstract
:1. Introduction
2. Methods
2.1. Design
2.2. Sampling and Participant Recruitment
2.3. Data Collection
2.4. Data Analysis
3. Results
3.1. Theme 1: Balancing Conflicting Emotions
3.1.1. Feelings of Guilt
“And these days I tend not to tell him too much when we go somewhere, I find he enjoys it… I know if I asked him he would say no, I am not bothered.”
“I know that if we go it’s better for both of us, so I tend to not sort of supply too much information and just let it happen.”
“…You are almost dealing with a child and I don’t like the, it’s not the deceit, deceit is probably too strong a word, but I am not being totally honest with him.”
“It’s like picking a colour of paint. We’ll pick a colour of paint and I’ll say I like this colour, and he says, no, I hate that colour. And then two weeks later he’ll like the colour, you know what I mean? But you have to play games, you know, that’s the sort of thing I have to do with him, I have to play games… something that I wanted but he was definitely we’re not having it, blah, blah, blah, no, no. We had a big domestic over it and then he agreed to it. He came up with the idea and I thought to myself, well, I thought of that two weeks ago, you know what I mean? And now you say you’re doing it.”
“It takes that shove some—Sometimes I can push him too hard because then we have a domestic, you know. It’s just like eggshells sometimes. I have to do it slow-things. I can’t nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, you know, it just doesn’t—It’s just too much for him, I keep nagging. Sometimes I’ll lose my temper.”
3.1.2. Endurance
“And I still sort of ask his opinion about things because you always have done and then… just, sometimes it gets you down and sometimes you just cope with it and move on.”
“Sometimes I just think—I’ve got that many jobs to do, I don’t know what to do. It does bother me but then again, I think, it is what it is, isn’t it? I can’t do much about it.”
3.1.3. Frustration with Lack of Insight
“Last year we did decorate the lounge and I’ve got my own health issues. But he hadn’t got a clue how to do it… I have done decorating myself. When it was done, he thought he had done it.”
“…I keep saying, you’re not there to teach, they’re there to help you do whatever. So, I think it’s getting him to cross over, that term, you are-well, I call them clients and you’re not the teacher, because that’s what he likes. My husband likes to be in control. So, not having that control any more, …you’re not going to be there teaching other people, you’re not to be the control person, and how he’s going to find that, I don’t know.”
3.2. Theme 2: New Roles Imposed by Caring
3.2.1. Additional Responsibilities
“He won’t wash up now, he just doesn’t want to get out the chair and do it, so I am ending up doing the jobs that he used to do and… he did moan about them a couple of times but it wasn’t to the point that he would never do them, he would always do them.”
“I don’t do, I (have) never done car insurance. He’s always done that but now he can’t do any of that. (So) I have to go on and I don’t know. Now I kind of know what I’m doing because I have to. … I say to him, look, you just leave it, you just leave it.”
“But when he is eating his dinner, he always says, that’s lovely and he says things like, I’m lucky to have you and you look after me and things like that.”
3.2.2. Reigniting “The Spark” by Promoting Interests
“Well, he has sparks. Yeah, he has his things that do make him spark.”
“It’s gradually building up to a point… where he’s not really interested in anything. … I did notice that, that the sparkle wasn’t there that he used to have when we were going away and things like that.”
“Which is why I’m so pleased at the moment, … her doing word search, she does it all the time. You know, we buy them and there’s one that comes through the mail… And there’s a pile by her bedroom.”
“It’s (theme parks) one thing that he really loves. So, that’s why we decided we’d take him. It’s like he hasn’t got dementia when he was there. It was really good.”
3.3. Theme 3: Having a Life of One’s Own
3.3.1. Pursuing Own Hobbies and Interests
“So I tend now to just put myself in another room because he’s just sitting there watching the same programmes over and over again, which does get me down”.
“Sometimes I feel quite motivated because I like sewing and I like knitting and I feel quite motivated.”
3.3.2. Finding People to Talk To
“Luckily I’ve got some friends here so I’ve got somebody to talk to. And get what’s happening in their lives as well, not just (being in) my little bubble.”
“And it also helps when you go to places like Song Time; you’re talking to the other carers. Also, I go to the Alzheimer’s meeting once a month as well and again, you’re talking to the other people and it just helps.”
“My daughter will come round and say, go on bugger off and do what you want to do, I will sort him out don’t worry and she does bless her.”
“I had to go for some counselling and I’m on anti-depressants.”
4. Discussion
4.1. Impact on Carers
4.2. Strengths and Limitations
4.3. Implications
4.3.1. Recommendations for Carers
4.3.2. Recommendations for Clinical Practice
4.3.3. Recommendations for Policy
4.3.4. Recommendations for Research
5. Conclusions
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Chang, C.Y.M.; Baber, W.; Dening, T.; Yates, J. “He Just Doesn’t Want to Get Out of the Chair and Do It”: The Impact of Apathy in People with Dementia on Their Carers. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2021, 18, 6317. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18126317
Chang CYM, Baber W, Dening T, Yates J. “He Just Doesn’t Want to Get Out of the Chair and Do It”: The Impact of Apathy in People with Dementia on Their Carers. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2021; 18(12):6317. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18126317
Chicago/Turabian StyleChang, Chern Yi Marybeth, Waqaar Baber, Tom Dening, and Jennifer Yates. 2021. "“He Just Doesn’t Want to Get Out of the Chair and Do It”: The Impact of Apathy in People with Dementia on Their Carers" International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 18, no. 12: 6317. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18126317
APA StyleChang, C. Y. M., Baber, W., Dening, T., & Yates, J. (2021). “He Just Doesn’t Want to Get Out of the Chair and Do It”: The Impact of Apathy in People with Dementia on Their Carers. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(12), 6317. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18126317