Exploring Forgiveness through Theologically Informed Education: Lessons from Judaism

Abstract

Education serves as the primary line of defense against crime and other psychological difficulties. Children exposed to adversity and emotional challenges may be susceptible to various risks, potentially leading to criminal activities. Forgiveness has been demonstrated as a healing influence in the lives of individuals who have experienced hurt and accumulated negative emotions due to life events. Understanding forgiveness from a young age, in both theory and practice, may facilitate improved relationships and psychological well-being. This article underscores the significance of forgiveness education, advocating for a culturally and theologically sensitive approach. In this article we will offer an example of integrating forgiveness education principles with insights from Judaic sources. The aim is to generate insights regarding theologically sensitive forgiveness in general by focusing on Judaism. As we demonstrate, the implications of this approach extend beyond the Jewish context, and our conclusions and recommendations are applicable to diverse cultures and religions worldwide.

1. Introduction

Over the past few decades, forgiveness has become a major area of research interest. Its effectiveness has been demonstrated to improve the emotional and physical well-being of individuals from a variety of ages and populations, including children and adolescents [1,2]. The focus on culturally diverse populations is important, given that forgiveness has been found to be healing for adult populations who have experienced various interpersonal injuries and it has also been found to prevent multiple negative influences on the forgivers’ lives [3,4]. This is also the case for children and adolescents. Unforgiving children and adolescents face adverse outcomes, including anxiety, revenge-seeking behavior, academic decline, emotional insecurity and loneliness [5,6,7]. A lack of forgiveness may also contribute to psychological tensions in close friendships, negatively impacting children’s and adolescent’s overall well-being [8].

The positive implications of forgiveness and forgiveness education are evident among children and adolescents [2,9], and particularly among those at risk for dropping out of school [10]. As further detailed below, from a criminological point of view, educating for forgiveness from a young age may serve as a primary preventive factor. Forgiveness can strengthen individual resilience to crime and may be effective in preventing psychological and social problems, as well as primary and secondary damages [11]. Primary damage is the direct harm from an injury, while secondary damage stems from an unhealthy response to that initial trauma [12]. For example, Van der Walt [8] introduced the importance of teaching the function of anger in realizing the nature and extent of the harm done–namely the primary damage, and not deteriorating to senseless self-centered anger–that is secondary damage.

As noted by Freedman and Zarifkar [13], definitions of forgiveness vary widely. However, it is broadly acknowledged that to forgive means not only to reduce anger, bitterness, and revenge but also to engage with morality and goodwill toward wrongdoers [14]. Enright and Fitzgibbons [15] assert that this ambitious process, divided into four main phases, begins when an individual rationally acknowledges that they have been unfairly treated and uncovers pain related to this injury. This serves as a motivating source for a change of coping involving an exploration of forgiveness and commitment to forgive. The decision to forgive can be made even if the feelings of forgiveness are not yet present. The act of reframing occurs by viewing the offender in context as well as recognizing their inherent worth and value as a human being. Forgivers also recognize their own need for forgiveness in the past and the value of not passing on their pain to others [16]. These steps result in positive emotional change, related to the gifting of forgiveness to the offender and finding meaning in the pain and suffering [17]. This process underscores the sequential nature and often lengthy duration of the forgiveness process. One does not usually forgive a deep hurt overnight, as there is a lack of cognitive control and executive functioning abilities needed to regulate negative thoughts and emotions about the offense [18]. The emphasis on the offender during this process highlights how forgiveness is a moral virtue. Forgiveness is more than a self-help strategy for the forgiver to feel better, as forgivers wish their offenders well, even if they choose not to maintain a relationship with them, following the forgiveness process.

Educating children and adolescents for forgiveness has become an important topic in the forgiveness literature [2], and studies have demonstrated and validated forgiveness education’s contribution to the younger generation in various countries [9,19,20]. Many researchers have examined its effectiveness in maximizing children’s well-being and mitigating their personal and social pain [21,22,23,24]. Most studies are empirical and include an experimental (receive the forgiveness education) and control-group design, with either an alternative treatment or a wait-list control group. For example, in a study involving Greek preadolescents, after receiving a six-session forgiveness intervention, the group of participants reduced more in depression and anger, and increased more in life satisfaction, and improved understanding of forgiveness compared to the control group. The participants also experienced long-term benefits, as observed at a 12-month follow-up [24]. Park et al. [20] conducted a forgiveness intervention in South Korea with at-risk adolescent females. Those in the experimental group (n = 16) showed significant decreases in anger, hostile attribution, aggression, and delinquency at the post-test and the eight-week follow-up compared to those in the two control groups (16 per group). Rapp et al.’s [2] meta-analysis provides additional evidence regarding the effectiveness of forgiveness education with children and adolescents across the world. Forgiveness education led to decreased anger and increased forgiveness in interventions with students who had experienced both mild and severe offenses, with students from both affluent and disadvantaged schools, and with students in programs facilitated by teachers and programs facilitated by researchers. Because forgiveness education is promoted in widely divergent cultures and belief systems, we propose that theological or cultural adaptations may enhance this education’s effectiveness [25]. Although in secular settings, forgiveness education from a non-religious perspective may be most appropriate as forgiveness with a religious focus may be problematic for public school districts. A challenge to including forgiveness education in the school curriculum is defining exactly what is meant by forgiveness and forgiveness education as well as providing training to the teachers so they feel competent teaching forgiveness education and understand the benefits of doing so.

The relevance of forgiveness to education systems in a variety of cultural and religious contexts attests to its centrality as a moral value shared by diverse intellectual and philosophical traditions [26,27]. As a moral virtue, forgiveness serves to enhance relationships [28], by advancing the restoration and harmony of social relationships [26,29]. Forgiveness helps to regulate emotions and expand perspective, which increases one’s ability to consider the offender in context and with respect [30]. Educating for forgiveness can be considered part of educating for moral virtues in general. Religions have shown a broad interest in forgiveness and provided various indoctrination paths, including origin myths, which serve as moral guidance of conduct, moral examples, and divine models of conduct [31]. One example is Horowski’s [32] theoretical analysis, which argues that the individualist approach, reflected by a focus on the self, poses a significant educational challenge when we think of educating students about the importance of showing care and empathy for others. In his view, educating for forgiveness from a Christian perspective may span a necessary bridge between individualism and care, inspired by divine love and compassion, which is extended to all.

In a variety of literatures, particularly in education, scholars extract relevant insights from spiritual traditions [33]. Researchers have found that by showing theological and cultural sensitivity, various educational and therapeutic programs have reduced participants’ sense of exclusion and alienation, and produced positive effects illustrated in greater knowledge and positive actions [34,35,36,37]. For example, in a study involving Hispanic women, a culturally sensitive breast cancer education program increased knowledge and reduced barriers to mammography [36]. Such sensitivity in education enables the old to meet the new resulting in an educational orientation adapted to specific learners, their religion, and culture. Therefore, Horowski’s [32] claim that it is possible to address acute, present-day educational and social issues using available and important religious and cultural wisdom, at the very least, deserves exploration and examination. In Israel, in particular, religion is central to culture, impacting cognition, affect and behavior [38]. Therefore, educating for forgiveness in the local context would be greatly enhanced by being religiously sensitive.

In general, theological sensitivity frames universally relevant issues with culturally oriented approaches and can provide the “why” and “how” to reach forgiveness based on specific religious principles. Some research has illustrated that religion and faith are uniquely powerful in promoting forgiveness. In one study, religious groups reported significantly higher attitudinal (meaning one’s positive attitudes towards forgiveness) and projective forgiveness (the tendency to forgive future transgressions) than secular groups [39]. That is, religion can increase the psychological understanding of forgiveness and serve as a bridge between forgiveness education and the learner’s conceptual world. Fox and Thomas [39] found the level of religiosity, reflected by faith, prayer, and religious service attendance to be a stronger determinant of forgiveness than the specific religion with which individuals were affiliated. Thus, one’s specific religion is not as strongly linked to a willingness to forgive as is one’s religiosity.

A university intervention aimed at strengthening Christian faith with a focus on forgiveness promotion highlighted how theologically oriented practices could advance forgiveness [40]. Sixty-five students participated in six-hour Christian-oriented forgiveness workshops, including debates, literature on forgiveness, and other activities. Results illustrated increased forgiveness levels for participants in the Christian-oriented forgiveness workshops compared to a no-contact control group [40]. The authors discuss the benefit of using interventions that are consistent with students’ religious values and beliefs to promote positive character change. The study’s focus on forgiveness is an important example of incorporating theologically sensitive education, to increase moral identity. Moral identity means “the degree to which being a moral person is important to a person’s identity” [41] (p. 212). In this regard, the motivation to maintain a Christian identity, coupled with the emphasis on forgiveness, reflects the significance of theologically sensitive education, where being a forgiving person as a Christian is equally important as being morally virtuous.

Whether forgiving oneself or another, forgiveness requires great courage [42]. Worthington et al. [43] made the observation that while the scriptures urge us to forgive, they provide very little practical guidance. Individuals are told to forgive, but not shown how [44]. However, a deeper reading of the scriptures does offer some guidelines that can be consolidated into a coherent guide for those struggling in their forgiveness journeys. This article examines and analyzes how a theologically sensitive understanding of forgiveness, based on ancient traditions, may be helpful to those working or educating children and adolescents on the process of forgiveness [45]. Specifically, we examine forgiveness scriptures in Judaism as an anchor for how forgiveness is understood and practiced. We also draw insights from scriptures to see how Jewish adolescents, who have been victims of harm and/or experienced interpersonal conflict, could think and practice to be more forgiving as well as strengthen their identity around being a forgiving person. Note that these aims emphasize forgiveness from the perspective of the forgiver, and while this is partial, it highlights the possible agentic attitude of the forgiver–the forgiver’s capacity to actively choose and embody a forgiving mindset or identity.

2. Forgiveness in Jewish Scriptures

2.1. Commanded to Forgive?

In the Old Testament, forgiveness is considered God’s exclusive purview [46]. Therefore, addressing forgiveness without theological sensitivity could potentially hinder the forgiveness process. However, subsequent Jewish theological and philosophical texts delve into imparting the divine to humanity, emphasizing how steps to absolve interpersonal transgressions are more involved than steps to absolve transgressions against God. Despite God’s exclusivity in forgiving the latter, it is essential to convey the divine to people in dealing with such transgressions: “For transgressions between a person and God, Yom Kippur [the Day of Atonement] atones; however, for transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person” [47].

This view conveys an important educational message regarding forgiveness: the exclusive, and almost uncompromising responsibility for reconciliation or making amends lies with the offender. Apart from this message, Jewish religious writings do not specifically command the individual to forgive. This is similar to the psychological literature on forgiveness, which emphasizes that it is always the individual’s choice to forgive. The psychological literature also makes a distinction between forgiveness and automatic reconciliation, a common misconception that often prevents people from forgiving [48]. Thus, there is a clear separation between forgiveness, which is divine, and the commandment to show human grace and compassion. This is a consistent and essential distinction that may seem at first as obstructing forgiveness, as forgiveness might seem to lie outside the realm of human conduct. However, it leads to spiritual development and growth towards attaining the sought-after divine grace, which is the solution we propose for the idea of unconditional forgiveness in education. As seen below, the difficulty in no way means giving up on forgiveness. Instead, it involves presenting paths to forgiveness, seemingly compassionately, by considering individual differences and circumstances. For example, some may need more time than others to forgive. When we treat the victim with compassion, we are validating their pain and showing them that we understand what they are experiencing, while also challenging them to consider forgiveness as a route to conflict resolution and emotional healing

Jewish law holds the offender responsible for the reconciliation process, which is similar to the psychological understanding of forgiveness and reconciliation [16]. Reconciliation involves compensation, placation and a process of repentance from both the Jewish law and psychological perspectives. This process includes regret, confession, the abandoning of sin and a commitment not to repeat the wrongdoing in the future. Although held responsible, the offender cannot be exclusively responsible as forgiveness may be conceived as part of the full reconciliation process requiring a victim who has forgiven [49]. Therefore, without detracting from the offenders’ responsibility, victims are also required not to hold a grudge and not to “harden their heart” in response to pleas for forgiveness by the offender. They are also ordered to avoid vengeance; a key prohibition in Jewish scriptures, which is first stated in Leviticus: “Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear a grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (19: 18, KJV; see also the Jerusalem Talmud [50]).

Medieval philosopher and exegetic Nachmanides (Ramban) [51] interprets this prohibition along with its preceding one against hatred towards others. He argued that when the hater’s heart is filled with resentment and animosity, he punishes himself for a wrong perpetrated by another and violates Jewish law. Hence, the commandment that one must confront one’s fellow person with the wrong he has perpetrated against the victim. Only this can enable the transition from the prohibition against holding a grudge and taking vengeance to the commandment to love one’s fellow person or neighbor as yourself. Nachmanides [52] posits that confrontation is important to reach loving the other, and loving the other could be reached only in the absence of envy and hatred. This approach is critical when educating children to confront their bullies and vent their negative emotions. It is an essential element in the process of liberating oneself from grudges, ultimately leading to forgiveness, and perhaps, also restoring loving relationships. According to Klein [42], wrongs need to be acknowledged, remorse needs to be expressed, and sincere apologies need to occur. One must seek forgiveness and be prepared to offer it. Injuries are believed to lead to the restoration of mutual respect and true reconciliation, when appropriate to do so. If this expression of emotion is not achieved, it may eventually lead to aggressive behavior [53]. Educators may need to teach students to confront their offenders when safe to do so and express their emotions in appropriate and healthy ways. This may be an effective strategy for emotional well-being, but may not effectively prevent or stop the bullying behavior. Nixon et al. [54] found that the most effective coping strategy for bullying was support-seeking strategies. As shown above, the use of moral exemplars in Judaism enables modeling interactions and managing interpersonal conflicts. As stated by Battaly [55], in her philosophical analysis of how to help students develop virtues, it is difficult for students to develop moral virtues if they don’t understand the virtue and what it looks like in various situations.

Medieval polymath and leading Jewish philosopher and exegetic Maimonides (Rambam) elaborated on forgiveness, including the victim’s role in the process, from a deontological perspective. He viewed the refusal to reconcile or give up anger as a moral wrong, evidence of a person’s negative traits. Therefore, he commanded us to be merciful and aspire to forgive from the bottom of our hearts:

“It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to be appeased. Rather, he should be easily pacified, but hard to anger. When the person who wronged him asks for forgiveness, he should forgive him with a complete heart and a willing spirit… he should not seek revenge or bear a grudge” [56]. That said, Maimonides holds that it is also important to express anger and therefore offers an intermediate course:

“He should not be wrathful, easily angered; nor be like the dead, without feeling, rather he should [adopt] an intermediate course” [57].

The first steps on the way to forgiveness and in liberating oneself from a victim mindset are not conditional on the offender, similar to what psychological literature says about forgiveness. Forgiveness is something the injured can do all on their own without any response from the wrongdoer [16]. The Jewish theological perspective noted in this article addresses emotional and behavioral issues and may, therefore, be used to design deontological schemes in education. The exaltation and commendation of the moral obligation to forgive necessitate profound psychological preparation, especially upon experiencing harm. As Klein [42] highlights, “In Judaism, forgiveness is not built upon forgetting what had transpired, the wrong that was done, the hurt that had been inflicted, or the disappointment or betrayal experienced. To the contrary, the Jewish approach is that the wrong must be remembered and addressed” (p. 18). Examining the psychological perspective, forgiveness occurs after the victim recognizes and admits they have been hurt. Anger is seen as a normal emotion after being hurt and individuals are encouraged to express their anger in a healthy way [58].

2.2. The Transition from Imperatives to Grace

Another Jewish approach that promotes unconditional forgiveness is called “beyond the letter of the law”, or the virtue of grace. It expresses one’s desire to act benevolently, even when one is not obligated to do so. For example, consider a person who finds a dollar bill on the street near a food cart. Despite no law binding them to do so, they assume it belongs to the owner and ask if they lost a bill. This action is taken even though the person is convinced that nobody else would do the same for them. Arguably, this approach represents a transcending of the mutuality aspect of the principle of justice in interpersonal dynamics [59], as well as transcending the motivation to act in a way perceived as just in response to injustice or injury [60,61], and so act compassionately. The argument fundamental to grace or the mechanism of beyond the letter of the law is the assumption that in human society, we are called upon to act in a way seen as good (the spirit of the law, not necessarily dictated by any norm), rather than often follow arbitrary rules to satisfy justice. Forgiveness education includes showing kindness to all, even to those who have not been kind, known as radical kindness [62].

Thus, transcending justice and commandments is a key concept in Judaism, particularly when it comes to forgiveness. Nachmanides [63] elaborates on this in his comment on Deuteronomy 6: 18 (KJV)–“And thou shalt do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord”–arguing that the good is supposed to coexist with the right even without an explicit imperative or commandment:

“At first, he [Moses] stated that you are to keep His statutes and His testimonies which He commanded you, and now he is stating that even where He has not commanded you, give thought, as well, to do what is good and right in His eyes, for He loves the good and the right”.

From our present-day educational perspective, this view may promote the transition from the commandment to the higher ideal. Educators may use this idea to motivate students who are already behaving according to just laws or commandments to exceed them. This can foster the development of deeper moral reasoning and conduct that does not solely rely on external laws. For example, if a student was hurt by another student, the victim can seek public justice for the injury but also work on personally forgiving the offender.

Another example of the strong link seen in Judaism between justice and the potential for transcendent grace is the moral example provided by King David: “For I am holy–who hears his insult and is able to avenge, but does not hold righteous grudge” [64] (n.p.; authors’ translation). Other major Jewish figures who model moral conduct, such as Aaron, who is considered holy, among other things for not taking revenge against Korah despite provocation (see Numbers 16). This illustrates how a holy person who had been victimized, and who has every right to take offense, does not retaliate. These examples present actions that exceed mere adherence to laws or retaliating, emphasizing grace as a spectrum of behavior, as a step-by-step process culminating in forgiveness.

The principle of grace constitutes the second element in the moral development paved by Judaism from the commandment for unconditional forgiveness. This stage of transcending the letter of the law enables the individual to obey social norms regulating interpersonal relations but also to go beyond them. In the educational context, this means that a child who feels victimized can forgive the offender, while also pursuing justice, even in cases that diverge from the deontological norm of the religious and general culture of their environment. It is not ethical to force such a process, and it would not be beneficial for students to do so. Therefore, the notion that the student is surpassing the required action may serve as a theologically sensitive motive in forgiveness education. Together with a two-stage moral system, the obligation and the ideal, the Jewish approach also suggests that it is important for the educator to teach that transcendence (attaining the ideal) requires a certain amount of emotional preparation or mastering the former stage. Therefore, pressuring victims to show grace prematurely can be counterproductive. For example, a student who is grappling with unresolved emotional pain and lacks motivation to follow commandments, such as refraining from seeking revenge, while expected to act ideally, may feel extremely alienated and frustrated, potentially leading to behavioral escalation. Thus, patience and time to achieve these ideals is important. According to Wong and colleagues [65], the school community may be an ideal community for fostering peace within and between people. In a qualitative study, these authors explore how justice alone is not enough to help students develop and learn how to get along in a peaceful way. Teachers in both the United States and China completed a survey related to how best to create a peaceful and just school community. Most responses illustrated that justice alone was insufficient for creating this type of environment, the need to create a cooperative and harmonious environment. The authors conclude by proposing the unique idea of “school as both a just and merciful community”.

2.3. Following God’s Way as Motive for Forgiveness

Along with the guidelines and values that prepare the victim to behave in a way inspired by divine grace, that is to forgive, we can find more direct references to the motives for such behavior. One of the key suggestions for promoting unconditional forgiveness is to leverage the motivation to follow God’s path. According to this view, God is the absolute good, and humans seek to approximate that good. Hence, this may be the religious parallel of the perfectionist philosophy of morals [66]. In this view, forgiveness is a divine virtue given to humans, requiring them to forgive their offenders as much as God forgives the sinner. The Book of Exodus (34:6:7, KJV) lists the thirteen compassionate virtues of God, which serve as a model for human conduct: “The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children”. Following this description, rabbinical commentators have highlighted the importance of not only aspiring to these moral heights, but of acting upon these principles on the ground: “After the Lord your God shall you walk […]. But is it possible for a person to follow the Divine Presence? […] Rather, [the meaning is] that one should follow the attributes of the Holy One…” [67]. A notable distinction exists between the scientific understanding of forgiveness and the Jewish tradition of forgiveness, which is spiritual by essence. Specifically, within Jewish tradition, there is an explicit call to strive for greater perfection to resemble God more closely, as forgiveness is inherent in God’s nature. This nuance of Jewish scripture and tradition can contribute to individuals’ motivation and choice to forgive and, ultimately, their healing process by infusing meaning and purpose into an individual’s life. As Klein [42] concludes, “Judaism asks that Jews understand forgiveness is a sacred and necessary act. It alone offers humanity the possibility of recalling our sacred past and not foreclosing on our shared potential to repair the world (p. 19).

Thus, the aspiration for religious perfectionism serves the act of forgiveness in two main ways: by preparing individuals for further progress toward forgiveness and reconciliation and approaching the divine ideal of compassion, which transcends strict legal requirements and, therefore, constitutes grace. The importance of emulating divine qualities, as detailed earlier, is the means of creating a more harmonious and fulfilling society. This idea is eloquently expressed by Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler [68], who writes: “But the perfect world is one where every person without expectation gives to and benefits others, and whose heart overflows with gratitude for what he receives from others. A human society such as this is the perfect and happy society, overflowing with peace and love–the society in which God delegates” (Volume A, p. 151). By aspiring to embody these virtues, we can work towards building a better world that aligns with God’s vision for humanity. Note, however, that alongside the clear reference to the divine virtues, we must also attend to the all-too-human tendency, highlighted by Lawrence [69], to match one’s conception of the divine and of oneself. When educating for forgiveness, we must be sensitive to this aspect, since one may try to follow the example of a non-benevolent God and be inspired to imitate negative acts. On the positive side, when dealing with education, modeling has a major role in shaping the child’s worldview [70]. Educating students about forgiveness and related concepts when they are young, with the use of role models, such as God, gives them an alternative to revenge after experiencing a deep hurt or conflict. Unless students learn about forgiveness and see it modeled in different situations, it will be difficult for them to choose to forgive and develop a forgiving disposition [55].

2.4. Forgiveness and Overcoming Emotional Obstacles in Jewish Theology

Worthington [71] defined forgiveness as rooted in emotions and denoted two features of individual forgiveness: decisional and emotional. Decisional reflects the fact that one needs to make the decision to forgive before engaging in emotional forgiveness. Emotional forgiveness is a process in which negative, unforgiving emotions are replaced with positive ones, a process that can occur unilaterally in the absence of other parties [72]. Such a process is necessary for independent forgiveness by victims of harm.

Jewish thinkers have addressed extensively the emotional difficulty attendant on the sense of personal injury. A key term in that context is overpowering—a recurring motif in Jewish religious thought, which suggests that forgiveness necessarily involves coping that requires resilience, self-restraint, courage, or mental might, as in the following famous quote: “Who is strong? One who overpowers his inclinations. As is stated (Proverbs 16:32), ‘Better one who is slow to anger than one with might, one who rules his spirit than the captor of a city’” [73]. According to Maimonides [74], overcoming one’s natural urges enables one to attend to spiritual matters and represents a heroic ability to subdue the ego’s mighty emotional and perceptual forces.

Relatedly, holding a grudge is a major emotional obstacle to unconditional forgiveness by a person locked in a victim mindset. Overcoming grudges and long-term anger subsequently enables the individual to free oneself of that mindset [12]. For example, according to 18th-century Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto [75]:

“Hatred and vengeance are likewise exceedingly difficult for the mocked heart of human beings to escape from […]. Revenge is then sweeter to him than honey for it alone is his peace. Therefore, for one to have the strength to relinquish what his nature impels him to and to overlook the wronging, not hating the one who ignited hatred in his heart…”

Insult, sorrow and resentment are presented as “natural” feelings and consequences of victimization, as previously mentioned and revenge is often seen as providing peace of mind in the short term. Accordingly, we must praise heroes who do not succumb to their nature. Accordingly, the ability to master your will and to control yourself is worthy of praise in educational processes, particularly among children and adolescents whose cognitive moral development is still underway [76]. Thus, as stated in the psychological literature, it is normal and natural to feel anger after being hurt. However, when forgiving, one chooses to refrain from acting on their anger in unhealthy ways [16]. Jewish forgiveness includes addressing the pain, loss, and agony of the injured before forgiveness can occur [42], and the struggle of many biblical exemplars to forgive indicates the need for patience in educating for that, as well as the self-compassion of the student grappling with forgiveness.

According to Enright [77], it is important to practice becoming “forgivingly fit” and build up one’s forgiving muscle slowly. This could look like initially helping children not talk unkindly about those who have hurt them and/or understand the idea that everyone has worth, even those who have hurt others. The idea is that forgiveness requires practice and effort and educators are in the position to help students develop the skills to help them forgive over time [77].

2.5. Toward Forgiveness–Moral Reform and Changing One’s Perception of the Victimizer

Given the view of forgiveness as a divine virtue for humans to aspire to, some Jewish texts indicate that it should start from within as moral self-growth, and only then will interpersonal forgiveness be possible. This process of moral growth can be seen, for example, in the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery, as he recognized that hurting his brothers could not heal his wounds and their actions were part of God’s plan for his life (see Genesis 50:20; [42]). One such inner practice is called tikkun middot or moral reform–the forgiving person must cultivate specific virtues in preparation for forgiving the offender. Overcoming one’s pride and cultivating one’s humility are central here. The aspiration for humility and transcending self-centeredness holds profound importance in religious faith [11,12]. Judaism views humility as a key human quality exemplified in the description of Moses as an exceptionally humble individual (see Numbers 12:3). Humility, seen as the antithesis of pride, links the virtues that promote forgiveness, as pride forms a fundamental barrier to forgiveness [11,78]. The humble person, as described by the Ramchal (n.d.) tolerates insults, refrains from glory-hounding, and demonstrates respect for all. According to the author of Orchot Tzadikim [79], one of the most important morality texts in Hebrew (written around 1440): “pride is the doorway to many evils and we have seen nothing as evil as arrogance in all of the qualities [middot]”. The Talmudic sages also view pride as a severe personality fault, the origin of many negative traits [80]. According to Orchot Tzadikim, one of these traits is grandiose thinking leading to a sense of superiority over others, a kind of alienation that is involved in many conflicts, resulting in hatred and envy. This grandeur, this pride, can lead the victim to judge the victimizer harshly and become further solidified in one’s victim mindset, with its attendant negative emotions. Therefore, alongside the prohibitions, commandments and tikkun middot mentioned, the victim needs to change their perception of the offender to restrain their delusions of grandeur related to arrogance and self-focus. Similar to the idea of intellectual humility, where one recognizes that their perspective may be incomplete, they realize that their view of the offender may be incomplete. This article highlights humility as a crucial element in forgiveness education, exemplifying the valuable insights and practical guidance found within the scriptures. This action may help advance the goal outlined in Enright’s process model [16], which involves reframing situations and recognizing the inherent worth of each person as a human being. Reframing involves viewing the offender and offense in context, not to make excuses for the hurtful actions but to better understand why and how they occurred based on the offender’s experiences and specific history [16]. For example, a student bullied in school can come to realize that their bully has been a victim of bullying by others. This knowledge provides understanding and may lead to feelings of empathy and compassion. Interestingly, the 12-Step Program articulates a similar view of forgiveness as the result of an inner investment in moral reform, or emancipation from what the program calls “defects of character” [12].

This key practice, which is first mental and self-directed and then external, is a thought exercise where one tries to morally understand the other’s actions. Examples of such thought exercises are choosing a favorable interpretation of the other’s intention when possible, moderating one’s view of the other by mentally searching for their good qualities, recognizing that one has acted in a similar way previously, and seeing the other through the perceived eyes of God. For example, forgiveness educators can help students recognize that they have hurt others in the past and have wanted others’ forgiveness, which may make it easier to consider why they should forgive another. One of the ways to relieve ourselves of the emotional burden after being offended is to try to change the way we view others and their actions by expanding our view. Part of reframing involves recognizing the common humanity between the offender and the offended. Klein [42] explains how: “The foundational belief that all human beings are created in God’s image led to the moral necessity to see the offender as potentially worthy of being forgiven” (p. 18). Recognizing the reality of the common divinity between offender and offended stimulates empathy and compassion eventually leading to forgiveness [16,42]. Hasidic leader Rabbi Nachman of Breslov [81] wrote:

“Know, a person must judge everyone favorably. Even for someone who is completely wicked, it is necessary to search and find in him some modicum of good; that in that little bit he is not wicked. And by finding in him a modicum of good and judging him favorably, one genuinely elevates him to the scale of merit and can bring him to repent”.

This practice is further refined in the following quote by Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook [82], one of the fathers of religious Zionism, where he emphasizes the importance of positive judgment in transitioning from human justice to divine grace:

“It is great and illuminating work to purge anger from the heart entirely, to look at everything favorably, with the compassion of grace that has no bounds, to resemble the divine eye […] even what the wicked are doing […] have mercy for them as they wallow in the mire of wickedness, and discover their good side, and to devalue the unfavorable and value the favorable judgement, even when it comes to instigators and seducers” (translated by the authors).

In addition to tikkun middot that prepares the individual for a more favorable view of the other and ultimately forgiveness, another, third practice deals more directly with the victim’s uncomfortable, but normal and natural, emotions. These are often characterized by a spiraling exacerbation, causing growing distress, which sometimes exceeds that experienced directly following the original injustice [83,84]. The idea is to shift one’s overall perceptions towards a favorable outlook, to acknowledge the good as a way of escaping the vicious cycle of victimhood. This practice, unlike the previous one, emphasizes changing how we value events rather than our perception of others. For example, in the Mishnah [85], it is said that: “One is obligated to recite a blessing for the bad [that befalls him] just as he recites a blessing for the good”. The story of Job could serve as an illustration for students, where Job maintained his faith and gratitude despite immense suffering and loss. Maimonides [86] explains this notion by suggesting that our perspective is necessarily too limited to rightly judge good and evil in our lives, and we must, therefore, accept with greater equanimity the bad things in life by changing the way we judge them and realizing that life consists of both good and bad events.

“When it is written “just as he recites a blessing for the good”, this means accepting it [evil] with happiness and kindness and conquering one’s anger and make merry […] since some things may seem at first good but end very badly, and it is therefore inappropriate for the wise to be surprised when great evil comes upon him, since he doesn’t know it’s ultimate outcome”. (translated by the authors).

This means that we must not only be grateful for the good as well as for the bad, but constantly keep in mind our limited ability to tell one from the other, and that the one might lead to the other. This kind of orientation in children’s lives can help them cope with events perceived as unfair: they need not question their experience but rather their sometimes fatal and potentially disproportionate interpretation of it. In an educational context, this does not mean teaching to doubt our certainties, but rather learning to distinguish between facts and things perceived as facts, and understanding how these impact conflicts in our lives. Moreover, after perceiving the harm inflicted proportionately, one may be exposed to constructive coping mechanisms. This also emphasizes the significance of situation-dependent relevancy of coping mechanisms [87]. It is also the case that how one views events is dependent on the meaning one finds in the injury and in the suffering, which is the first unit in the Deepening Phase of Enright’s [16] process model, Finding Meaning for Self and Others in the Suffering and Forgiveness Process [17].

2.6. Consequentialist and Melioristic Jewish Reasoning

Jewish writings often provide consequentialist arguments for forgiveness, which may work best with younger students who usually behave morally to avoid punishment or receive a reward [88] (see also Sinnott-Armstrong [89]). In the Tosefta, a compilation of Jewish oral law from the late second century, we find that whoever takes mercy on and forgives another who has offended him will ultimately win divine mercy and forgiveness: “As long as you are merciful, the Merciful takes pity on you” (n.d.; authors’ translation). In a similar vein, Rabbi Abba ben Joseph bar Hama (Rava) tells us in the Talmud that “whoever forgoes his reckonings [with others for injustices done to him, the heavenly court in turn] forgoes punishment for all his sins, as it is stated ‘He bears sin and forgives transgression’ [Micah 7: 18]” [90]. These consequentialist arguments are central to educating children for forgiveness since they provide them with ideological depth. In educating adolescents, these arguments enable the strengthening of critical thinking about the consequences of their actions [91], while maintaining their theological orientation.

In addition to consequential arguments, there are also important melioristic ones–improving the Creation as an inner moral imperative or religious obligation, Tikkun Olam, and spreading good and grace. Such arguments also recur in Jewish theological writings. For example:

“A person who is constantly pained by his sins and the sins of the world needs to constantly forgive, to forgive himself and to forgive the entire world, and through this he brings in forgiveness and the light of kindness to the entire world […]. First, he needs to forgive himself, and afterwards he extends a general forgiveness to everything […] his family, his friends, his nation, his generation, his world and to all the worlds. And through this he establishes the world in a higher degree, in the degree of the holy language […]” [92].

This quote expresses the holistic relevance of forgiveness to people’s existence and the spiritual concept of interconnectedness, presented as an ideal. It implies that one’s behavior towards oneself often reflects on others. Additionally, it aligns with the common reaction of ruminations following hurt [93], emphasizing the importance of sensitivity to the intrapersonal process in an educational context. This idea is similar to Unit 17, Realization that the Self has Needed Others’ Forgiveness in the Past, in Enright’s [16] process model.

Educating for moral values, and forgiveness, specifically, should include detailed reasoning in response to the students’ question, “why?”. Consequentialist and melioristic arguments are not the only ones offered by the Jewish scriptures, but are central to them, and provide a strong conceptual infrastructure for the path to forgiveness emphasized in this article–from commandment to grace. In a modern context, this approach informs the motto offered by the Grace Way, a spiritual and therapeutic way of living, which is based on the 12-Step Program: “become the grace you seek” [12]. In addition to this understanding of forgiveness based on Jewish scriptures, educators can also include content related to how students specifically feel and act when they are angry and vengeful compared to when they have compassion and peace in their hearts. This comparison can sit alongside the Jewish scriptures’ rationale for “why” forgiveness is important. Rabbi Benny Lau [94], a contemporary Jewish leader, emphasizes that forgiveness aims to restore equilibrium and harmony to individuals and society. According to Rabbi Lau, a life without forgiveness leads to constant anger, eroding the soul, while forgiveness can enlighten liberate, rehabilitate, and restore joy to life (p. 33). This perspective highlights forgiveness as crucial for societal equilibrium and harmony, not just individual well-being. It aligns with the notion that forgiveness is not only solely for the individual but also benefits society by preventing the transfer of pain from the individual to others [77,95].

3. Discussion

The study of forgiveness and forgiveness education has emerged as a prominent and transformative field within multiple research domains, showcasing its effectiveness in enhancing the well-being of diverse populations [2,77,96]. This impact extends beyond psychological realms, and affects physical health [97], interpersonal relationships and the development of moral characteristics, such as empathy and compassion [98,99,100]. The universal promotion of forgiveness education across diverse cultures and belief systems suggests that theological or cultural adaptations could enhance its effectiveness as a moral value shared by various intellectual and philosophical traditions [27]. Within this broad landscape, theological sensitivity provides a culturally oriented framework for implementing forgiveness education. This perspective offers valuable insights into the “why” and “how” of forgiveness. Religion serves as a bridge between forgiveness education and the learners’ conceptual worlds, especially in cultures where religion is part of one’s culture, contributing to the understanding of forgiveness from moral and spiritual standpoints [39]. Religious and cultural beliefs shape individuals’ understanding of forgiveness, the value they place on it, and the process through which they engage in forgiving others; ultimately impacting their willingness and ability to forgive.

The theological insights from Jewish scriptures delineate a nuanced path from commandments to grace-doing, recognizing the complexity of forgiveness and the need for profound psychological preparation [77,96]. The absence of a direct commandment to forgive in Judaism emphasizes the divine nature of forgiveness, encouraging individuals to show grace and compassion in addition to justice. Concepts such as kindness, mercy, and inherent worth all lay the foundation for forgiveness in the absence of a specific commandment [42]. Jewish law places responsibility on both the offender and the victim, stressing the importance of avoiding vengeance and grudges [47] for the victim and the need to make amends for the offender. Moral exemplars in Judaism, such as King David and Aaron, illustrate the significance of transcending justice and adopting a grace-oriented and compassionate approach.

This transition from imperatives to grace introduces the concept of going beyond the letter of the law by acting benevolently beyond the strict requirements of justice [59]. It aligns with the broader moral development idealized by Judaism, emphasizing virtues, such as humility and the willingness to forgive from the heart [51]. The motivation for forgiveness is grounded in the aspiration to imitate God, who embodies absolute goodness. This religious parallel to perfectionist philosophy underscores the role of forgiveness as a divine virtue given to humans [66]. In an educational context, it is important to carefully consider examples of divine actions and their alignment with forgiveness science, while also acknowledging students’ experiences through active participation. One must be careful to ensure that students are not taught to aspire to forgiveness prematurely, as this may exacerbate harm and reinforce existing self-blame. For example, it could intensify the blame placed upon a child by their abusive father, as the child might internalize feelings of being the offender due to harboring resentment toward the father, allegedly diverging from divine principles [101]. Forgiveness education programs that educate students about forgiveness in general rather than expecting students to forgive a specific offender during their education reflect the understanding that forgiveness takes time. Jewish-sensitive forgiveness education programs have the potential to reinforce messages that Jewish parents and religious leaders, such as rabbis, impart to children. One challenge of including forgiveness education in the school curriculum in secular schools is that parents don’t always have an accurate understanding of what forgiveness is and is not and don’t always discuss forgiveness with their children and/or encourage them to forgive. Freedman [10] discussed how participants in her study reported that their parents would emphasize not starting things with others, but if others were to start with them, it was important that they retaliate.

Jewish theological insights also address the emotional obstacles associated with forgiveness, acknowledging the overpowering nature of the desire for revenge and the need for resilience, self-restraint, and courage [71]. Practices such as moral reform, illustrated by not acting on one’s anger and resentment and changing one’s perception of the offender, contribute to the forgiveness process [74]. The idea that forgiveness takes effort, courage and practice fits with Enright’s conception of strengthening one’s forgiveness muscle [77]. The consequentialist and melioristic reasoning present in Jewish writings deepen the ideological foundations of forgiveness education. Consequential arguments emphasize the reciprocity of mercy, seen more in younger children, while melioristic arguments highlight the imperative of improving the world and spreading grace more likely to be seen in adolescents. In a classroom context, these reasonings, as well as others, may also serve to initiate a dialogue among students on the topic of forgiveness. They provide a variety of perspectives that can be considered in light of the many challenges of forgiveness. Specifically, students can be asked to reflect on and discuss common reasons why people struggle to forgive. Myths, such as the belief that forgiveness will take the place of justice, that forgiveness means opening oneself up to more harm, that forgiveness cannot occur until the offender suffers as much as the victim, that anger is not part of the forgiveness process, and that forgiveness means one is excusing the offense and offender, can all be discussed and then dispelled. Learning about forgiveness during youth gives students the knowledge needed to ask for forgiveness as well as grant forgiveness. It also helps illustrate to students the value of choosing empathy and kindness over holding onto anger and resentment.

Forgiveness education also teaches students how to cope with their anger in a healthy way, and that anger is a normal and natural emotion. According to Damour [102], students develop resilience and positive psychological health when they learn that they can cope with emotional discomfort, such as anger and sadness.

The contribution of theologically sensitive forgiveness education to the social sciences and to the field of education, specifically, is profound. It provides a framework for moral development, offering a nuanced understanding of forgiveness that transcends cultural and religious boundaries. The universal implications of theological sensitivity underscore its potential to shape compassionate and forgiving individuals, contributing to a more harmonious and understanding society. Importantly, the preventative aspect of forgiveness education, with a focus on decreasing anger and foregoing revenge, particularly in deterring future emotional problems and criminal behavior among children and adolescents, holds promise for enhancing psychological well-being and reducing unnecessary suffering.

Theoretical implications of theologically sensitive forgiveness education challenge traditional norms of justice and deontological commandments, advocating for a shift towards religious perfectionism [103]. Practical implications extend education for students, emphasizing both the normal occurrence and severity of interpersonal wrongdoing and providing practical guidelines for overcoming emotional obstacles in students’ forgiveness journey. The emphasis on prevention and alleviation of suffering highlights the potential of theologically sensitive forgiveness education to promote physically and psychologically healthier individuals as well as a more empathic and compassionate and forgiving society [15,104,105].

4. Conclusions

In conclusion, the exploration of Jewish Scripture, along with forgiveness science, offers insights into the dynamics of forgiveness and its significance in nurturing the emotional well-being of children and adolescents. Through the examination of foundational texts such as the Torah and the teachings of Jewish sages, we have garnered invaluable wisdom regarding the transformative power of forgiveness, both in interpersonal relationships and within communities. From the story of Joseph’s reconciliation with his brothers to the command to seek forgiveness from others, Jewish Scripture provides a rich tapestry of narratives and principles that underscore the importance of forgiveness as a cornerstone of moral and spiritual development. Moreover, the emphasis on compassion, empathy, and reconciliation serves as a model for educators, parents, and caregivers in their efforts to foster forgiveness among youth. Forgiveness science offers insights into common misunderstandings associated with forgiveness from both a secular and religious perspective. These insights are necessary and helpful when discussing and educating adolescents about forgiveness in real-life situations.

More research on religious and culturally sensitive forgiveness education with diverse populations is needed, as are experimental studies with multiple follow-up assessments to determine the long-term impact of forgiveness education on children and adolescents. It may be the case that students benefit most when forgiveness education is introduced at the elementary school level with follow-up classes in middle and high school.

Our conclusions may apply to different religions, cultures, and Jewish movements by suggesting sensitivity categories for forgiveness-inspiring classes. First, understanding what’s deemed graceful and mandatory in one’s culture is essential for establishing moral guidelines. Second, it is important to emphasize cultural aspects that accommodate a range of forgiveness perspectives. This fosters a compassionate teaching approach, mindful of student differences. Lastly, classroom activities on forgiveness should center on existing cultural and developmental reasoning that promotes forgiveness, while considering students’ diverse motivations [88].

Understanding forgiveness through a Jewish lens not only enriches individuals’ appreciation of its profound implications but also equips educators with a theoretical framework or perspective to cultivate forgiveness in the hearts and minds of children and adolescents coming from a Jewish cultural background. By integrating these timeless teachings into educational curricula, counseling frameworks, and family dynamics, we can nurture a culture of empathy, resilience, kindness, and healing among the younger generation.

As we help students navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships and the challenges of adolescence, it is beneficial to draw inspiration from the enduring wisdom of Jewish Scripture, as illustrated above. Drawing on both forgiveness science and the legacy of Jewish tradition, forgiveness is seen as both a transformative act of peace building for both individuals and communities and an approach to physical and psychological healing after conflict and deep hurt. This collaborative effort can reshape societal attitudes towards forgiveness, promoting a more compassionate and forgiving world.