Developing Emotional Intelligence

Definition

Daniel Goleman perceptively and accurately noted that emotional intelligence is critical to leadership success, claiming that emotional intelligence is far more important to leadership emergence and effectiveness than intellectual capacity. Goleman’s research later confirmed an 85% relationship between emotional intelligence and leader effectiveness. It may be the most critical area for current and aspiring leaders to develop. While leadership scholars accept the importance of emotional intelligence for leadership and the fact that emotional intelligence can be developed, there appears to be some uncertainty around how emotional intelligence can be developed. The authors shed light on that area and provide current and aspiring leaders with some proven strategies for developing the four predominant components of emotional intelligence. The importance of emotional intelligence to leadership is well documented, and leaders would be well served by working to heighten their levels of emotional intelligence and, in doing so, increase their leadership potential, efficacy, and impact.

1. What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence has garnered considerable attention in the leadership literature over the last 30 years. Significant research and articles in the academic and popular press have focused on what emotional intelligence is and why it is essential [1,2,3]. Specifically, Goleman’s book entitled, Emotional Intelligence: Why it May Matter More than IQ, brought the study of emotional intelligence into mainstream media and has been praised by scholars and members of the popular press for its impact. The New York Times bestseller was highlighted on the cover of Time magazine and received praise from scholars and practitioners alike.

Salovey and Mayer [4] first defined emotional intelligence as a type of social intelligence that allows leaders to monitor their emotions and the emotions of others to improve communication and a leader’s decision-making abilities. Salovey and Mayer’s definition focused solely on the emotions of the self, the emotions of others, and the information that can be collected and processed to connect the emotional and rational parts of the brain. Cherry [5] believed that emotional intelligence heightened people’s ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, and control their own and others’ emotions, facilitating more effective communication and better decision-making. Her interventions helped to advance the concept by highlighting how high levels of emotional intelligence help leaders to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Goleman popularized and quantified the concept of emotional intelligence by noting that emotional intelligence consisted of four predominant components: (a) self-awareness, (b) self-management, (c) social awareness, and (d) relationship management.

Emotional intelligence gives leaders the capacity to think conceptually and better understand the perspectives of others. This ability impacts the quality of interactions leaders have with other people. Leaders can view someone conceptually by understanding that people are composed of their intelligence quotient (IQ), emotional intelligence, and personality. A person’s IQ and personality are relatively fixed traits. As a result, once someone better understands that person’s IQ and personality, they can determine how to effectively interact with them. However, emotional intelligence skills can be developed, and people must continually employ empathy and relationship management skills to determine how to interact with them. These areas are relatively close. Therefore, if someone decides to develop their emotional intelligence, they can transform a part of themselves that is identified during situations that require the use of their emotional intelligence skills.

Contemporary leadership scholars remain focused on the topic of emotional intelligence and its impact on better decision-making and problem-solving [6], as well as employee motivation and job performance [7,8]. Other contemporary scholars call for emotional intelligence to be embedded in leader development programs [9]. Emotional intelligence remains a critically important area of development for leaders seeking to heighten their efficacy and impact.

2. Can Emotional Intelligence Be Measured?

Leadership scholars know that emotional intelligence is critical to leadership effectiveness, but many have difficulty defining and quantifying the concept [10]. Over time, a number of valid and reliable quantitative instruments were developed to measure emotional intelligence (i.e., the Emotional Capital Report (ECR), Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), Geneva Emotional Competence Test, and Trait Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire). Two instruments, the Maye–Salovey–Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) and the Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI), have become the field’s most utilized measures. The MSCEIT measures emotional intelligence skills using the emotional intelligence framework of Salovey and Mayer. The ESCI incorporated the research and theoretical developments of emotional intelligence scholars like David McClelland, Daniel Goleman, and Richard Boyatzis. The ESCI measures emotional intelligence competencies rather than simply emotional intelligence.

Like many leadership instruments, emotional intelligence assessment tools typically use self-report and other measures. Self-report tests call for leaders to rate themselves. These types of tests are common for psychology-based assessments. However, the validity of these measures is often called into question because leaders often overrate their impact and score themselves higher than other stakeholders [11]. The ratings of these stakeholders are generally more valid indicators of the leader’s behaviours and impact. That said, comparing self-reported and other scores for congruence is an effective process for determining a leader’s self-awareness. As a result, scholars and practitioners interested in determining a leader’s current level of emotional intelligence would be well served by using one of these valid and reliable instruments and gathering data from both leaders and other stakeholders (e.g., direct reports, peers, and superiors).

While progress has been made with regard to defining, appreciating, or quantifying emotional intelligence, there appears to be more confusion around how current and aspiring leaders can develop their levels of emotional intelligence to maximize their impact. That is the purpose of this manuscript. The authors outline the proven strategies designed to help current and aspiring leaders to heighten their levels of emotional intelligence and, in doing so, help leaders to maximize their leadership potential, efficacy, and impact. Researchers have determined that emotional intelligence can be developed [12,13,14]. Strategies for developing each of the four Goleman components (i.e., self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management) are covered in the following section of the manuscript.

3. How to Develop Self-Awareness

The first component of Goleman’s emotional intelligence model begins with an individual’s understanding of their emotions. Self-awareness is the ability to understand one’s emotions and behavioural tendencies in situations [15]. Understanding where emotions come from is important, as this is a foundational skill for the rest of the Goleman model. The degree to which someone is self-aware will determine their capacity to improve upon the other areas of emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness is rooted in finding the leading cause of emotion. It is up to a person to determine what is causing the emotion and deal with the responses that feel most natural and forthcoming [16]. As this is different for each person, people should spend considerable time understanding and assessing their own emotions. While that might seem like a daunting task, self-awareness can be developed by simply thinking about being more self-aware. The first sign of improvement is becoming more aware of the range of one’s positive and negative emotions. Once this happens, a deep reflection on one’s emotions will usually commence. Thus, the process and progress of developing one’s self-awareness have begun.

Self-awareness is critical to emotional intelligence and, consequently, to a leader’s effectiveness. Bradberry and Greaves noted that 83% of people who rank high in self-awareness are top performers, while only 2% of bottom performers rank high in self-awareness. Heightened levels of self-awareness increase a person’s ability to make the right choices. Subsequently, individuals with high levels of self-awareness also feel better about their choices. People with heightened self-awareness often tend to tolerate discomfort and not focus on negative feelings. They clearly understand what motivates, satisfies, and annoys them. They can also recognize what tasks they do and do not perform well. People who have high self-awareness are generally honest, careful, and up-front. Those who are low in self-awareness often project blame toward others, they can be defensive and aggressive, and they may be unaware of what triggers those around them.

Mindfulness is a state of mind that focuses on the present while also feeling and enjoying the environment. Mindfulness is compartmentalized into concentration on and awareness of one’s body. Mindfulness helps to build emotional intelligence and is the primary competency of self-awareness because unchecked emotions triggered by the mind can be counterproductive to developing emotional intelligence. The use of mindfulness is paramount to building emotional intelligence, as the mind can remain present and conscious.

Mindfulness should be used every day rather than being treated as something that is employed when needed. Mindfulness training keeps the mind present and ignores intrusive thoughts. Daily mindfulness practices may occur through conscious and mindful breathing and focusing on the breath when feeling emotionally triggered.

The effects of mindfulness can be immediate. However, the best indicator of successful mindful practices occurs when one’s day-to-day emotions align with the mind being present and ignoring the past or future. Living in the past can create pain, anger, and jealousy, while living in the future can create fear and uncertainty. By living in the present, the leader can focus on what is occurring in real time, heighten their level of consciousness, and become more self-aware.

Regardless of the strategies employed to develop one’s mindfulness, the focus should be on releasing tension. Releasing tension (i.e., the build-up of unchecked emotions) enables an objective third-person point-of-view on emotions, which helps leaders to heighten their levels of awareness and management. Since self-awareness is improved through knowing and understanding oneself, mindfulness can be spiritual, personal, group-centred, or connected to one’s happiness. It is unique for everyone, as everyone has specific needs and wants. The more time a leader spends developing mindfulness, the more apparent the purpose of their mindfulness journey will become.

Consistent mindfulness will change the brain’s neurons. These changes occur in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), which is located behind the forehead. The ACC’s purpose is to direct attention and behaviour, suppress inappropriate knee-jerk responses, and allow people to switch strategies easily during stressful situations [17]. Studies have found that those who use meditation as their form of mindfulness have more activity in the ACC than nonmeditators [18]. This has been proven to lead to better performances on tests of self-regulation and making correct decisions compared to nonmeditators [19].

While the ACC facilitates learning from past experiences and supports correct decision-making, it risks becoming damaged through physical trauma. People with damaged ACCs are more likely to have difficulty controlling their aggression and may be impulsive [20]. In addition, these people often continue using poor problem-solving skills rather than changing their behaviour. Therefore, it is helpful for each person to understand their limits and what they can and cannot do.

While the benefits of mindfulness are clear, there are also some risks. For example, some people may use mindfulness to avoid critical thinking [21]. These people often have the propensity to use mindfulness to avoid emotionally trying situations. This risk of mindfulness can arise through groupthink. Groupthink is the psychological phenomenon within a group of people that occurs when the group’s want for cohesion overrides their thought process, resulting in improper decision-making [22]. Mindfulness can bring forth groupthink if people are forced to have similar mindfulness routines because the routines do not fit all people’s specific needs and wants. People may opt into mindfulness practices as everything is perceived to be okay, but, in reality, those practices are used as escapism. For mindfulness to be effective, it should focus on the person, and the mindfulness journey should be personal and individualistic [21].

Current and aspiring leaders can develop their self-awareness skills by reflecting on the following six strategies: (a) not treating emotions as binary; (b) understanding the aftermath of acting on emotions; (c) understanding triggers; (d) endeavouring to always be objective; (e) having clarity about morals and values; (f) continually seeking feedback. Each of these strategies is discussed below.

3.1. Developing Self-Awareness Strategy 1: Not Treating Emotions as Binary

As the brain first processes electric signals through the limbic system, colloquially known as the emotional brain, people tend to label the emotions that arise as good or bad. People then have a proclivity to associate emotion with things they consider good or bad. Therefore, one must understand that emotions are not superficial to improve self-awareness and cannot be labelled as good or bad.

Emotions must be approached carefully and thoughtfully as they are complex and do not exist in a binary format. To understand the difference between a binary and non-binary mindset, one must spend time examining emotions from both perspectives. Ultimately, the ability to recognize the benefits of the non-binary approach will occur. People will realize that an increased reflection period leads to a better awareness of the judgement one makes regarding the emotion.

The non-binary approach requires suspending judgment on emotions. Suspending judgment increases people’s ability to recognize how their moods affect their reactions, thoughts, and emotional responses to situations. Rather than label the emotion as good or bad, people should spend time trying to pinpoint the cause. This is completed through a moment of reflection. The more an emotion is pondered, the more precise the root of the emotion becomes.

3.2. Developing Self-Awareness Strategy 2: Understanding the Aftermath of Acting on Emotions

During the development of one’s self-awareness, one should always recognize how emotional responses make one feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. The body’s physical responses to an emotional response give context to where emotions originate. For example, are there thoughts or feelings of fighting, running away, or freezing in the heat of the moment? Often, a physical response occurs before processing a situation. To see if a physical response aligns with the mental and emotional responses, check in by asking, “Do I feel clarity, or do I still feel what I felt before?” This assists with reflecting on whether the action was appropriate, necessary, and aligned with the emotion. After those two steps, people may return to the emotion and see if the feeling has been resolved. They could ask, “Was that necessary? Was that the right response according to the situation? Did I act in accordance with the situation, or did I project my emotions onto others?” These questions help to synthesize the rational and emotional parts of the brain.

3.3. Developing Self-Awareness Strategy 3: Understanding Triggers

Reflecting on emotions can produce awareness of one’s triggers. First, people may pick an emotion. Next, they may think about a specific situation in which that emotion arose. After, ask yourself, “Who caused this emotion to arise?” These questions help to determine if the emotion is attached to a person or group. Next, people could ask, “Where did I experience this emotion?” The environment can also serve as a trigger. Now, as the ‘who’ and ‘’what’ have been isolated, people should reflect on the situation that caused that trigger. Consistent practice with this strategy will increase people’s awareness of when these situations occur, which allows leaders to proactively prepare for them.

The next step is to become aware of why a trigger exists. Leaders are required to undergo more intense reflection. The focus here is on the situation and the past, as similar experiences often trigger identical emotions and responses. Past experiences can combine to create triggers of varying degrees. The more complex a trigger is, the harder it will be to understand the cause. The main question to address is, “Why does this make me feel the way it does?” Determining why triggers exist increases the ability to recognize who and what constitute the triggers.

3.4. Developing Self-Awareness Strategy 4: Endeavouring to Always Be Objective

Being clear-minded and objective is the central goal of being self-aware. Self-aware leaders try to be objective and calm the emotional part of the brain. Individuals should attempt to isolate themselves from their emotions. Due to the difficulty of isolating themselves from their emotions, taking notes of emotions, behaviours, and reactions felt at the time is recommended for leaders. Leaders would benefit from focusing on (a) the situation, (b) the emotion(s) felt, (c) the environment and the people involved, and (d) the outcome/desired outcome. After noting specific experiences and reflecting using the factors above, leaders will objectively assess situations. They will determine the precise emotions that emerge from the case. Ultimately, leaders will think more clearly and mentally be present more often. This strategy’s success results from repeated efforts. Objectivity is often not achieved within the first few attempts but is a product of consistent and focused practice.

3.5. Developing Self-Awareness Strategy 5: Having Clarity about Morals and Values

People often make decisions based on their values. Values are the foundation for their decision-making processes. However, people need to clearly understand their values to clearly understand their decisions and the criteria used to make them. Determining the morals and values that guide a leader’s life will help them to better identify and manage their emotions. The process starts with leaders reflecting upon and writing down their values and returning to this list periodically to ensure that they remain authentic. Leaders should also analyze the decisions made to ensure that they are in harmony with their stated values and reflect on the decisions that do not align with their written list.

Through this process, leaders can heighten their self-awareness and test the validity of their stated values. Progress is made when these factors align. If they do not align, leaders must spend more time reflecting on their values or decisions and consciously make efforts to be more aligned in the future.

3.6. Developing Self-Awareness Strategy 6: Continually Seeking Feedback

Developing self-awareness from a first-person point-of-view will only grant them a partial understanding of their self-awareness skill. Only developing self-awareness from a first-person point-of-view can enable a person’s development. Receiving feedback from other people is helpful. The most effective way to seek feedback is to ask trusted colleagues or family members. People may ask specific questions about an actual or hypothetical situation where decisions were made based on their self-awareness skills. They could also provide them with the context and the list of stated values. Is there congruence with the rater’s assessment of alignment between value-based decisions and the stated values? This strategy can be a checkpoint along a person’s self-awareness development journey. Users will also find merit in using this strategy in combination with the other strategies mentioned above.

4. How to Develop Self-Management

The next component of Goleman’s emotional intelligence model is self-management. Self-management is defined as the ability of people to use awareness of their emotions to stay flexible and positively direct their behaviour. Each situation is different; thus, each behavioural response must appropriately be assigned to each case. In some situations, this results in acting, while in others, it means not acting. The propensity of the mind to make these quick-time decisions is centred on the brain’s ability to be self-aware. Drawing from the lessons of self-awareness adds context to the self-management style people need to employ. The more people develops self-awareness, the more people will see an increase in the ability to manage their actions.

Self-management also requires time to deal with uncertain situations. These uncertainties pertain to the emotional and behavioural options people have to choose. This perspective of self-management is more focused on momentary decision-making. Based on the varying situations people find themselves in, self-management cannot be uniformly applied. Self-management takes time to develop and must be tested consistently. Once people begin to recognize their behaviours in specific everyday situations, the responses that yield positive results occur more naturally. This recognition begins the development of self-management skills.

Those with high self-management skills are typically patient, understand various situations, and are good listeners. Inversely, those with low self-management skills are usually too quick to respond, let their emotions rule their behaviour, and can be verbally abusive. Like self-awareness, which is a foundational skill for the rest of the emotional intelligence components, being highly skilled in self-management is a precursor to being empathetic.

A way to build one’s self-management capacity is through becoming more resilient. Resilience is hard to define as it is more of an action than a concept. Researchers have attempted to link resilience to overcoming stress, adversity, or environmental stressors [23] or overcoming a situation that threatens the stability or development of a person [24]. Leadership scholars have also attempted to frame resilience in a leadership context by suggesting that influential leaders can perceive and manage emotions consistently over many periods [25]. There have even been attempts to label the competencies of resilience. Competencies such as problem-solving, impulse control, independence, [26], and distress tolerance are linked to more resilient leaders. Coutu identified three critical traits of resilient people and how they intertwine with the action of being resilient. These traits are the leading proponents of what it means to embody resilience. These traits are explained below.

Resilient people accept reality and have a high degree of self-awareness and social awareness. They catch themselves asking questions like: “Do I understand and accept what is occurring?” or “Does my environment/organization/group understand the situation as well?” The second trait is staying true to their values and having them guide their beliefs. During hardships, leaders are resilient by making the present circumstances manageable. This is often accomplished by leading and adopting practices that align with their values. Effective leaders embed their values in the organization’s culture. Others can see that the leader’s words and actions align with theirs and that this culture can help influence the words and actions of others [27]. The third trait is an uncanny improvisation ability. Leaders need to be able to bricolage, which is having the ability to suggest a solution without proper or prominent tools [28]. If a situation confuses the leader’s subordinates, the leader must help clarify the situation and ensure a path forward.

There is also merit in understanding how to build resilience. Kopans [29] presented a conceptual approach to building resilience. The process begins with exuding gratitude, which maintains a positive outlook on situations. Expressing gratitude when things are going well increases a leader’s positivity during hardship and helps them to understand that better times will be on the horizon. This viewpoint implies that leaders should be energized during challenging times. A positive outlook will allow them to build positive habits during difficult times, and leaders will be better once the hardships pass. This is the essence of what it means to be resilient.

This is compounded by keeping notes on daily, weekly, and monthly operations. Consequently, Kopans suggested being resilient in everyday tasks whenever possible. Whether making essential decisions on where the organization is headed or simply dealing with a troublesome co-worker, everyday resilience is valuable. Kopans further suggested that a conceptual approach to resilience eventually comes full circle. Leaders should take notes on how they are dealing with the situations, periodically review those notes, and gauge how their positive outlook has changed.

While the key to recovery is to try hard, stop, recover, and try again, people often struggle to understand that rest and recovery are not the same [30]. Rest is usually a break from a task, while recovery does not focus on a task. When leaders recharge, it is crucial to recover, not rest [31]. If a leader continues to use rest periods when they need to recover, this can cause burnout symptoms. Understanding whether a task allows a leader to rest or recover is essential in a leadership journey to develop emotional intelligence skills.

Within leaders’ understanding of rest and recovery, it is also vital for them to understand internal and external recovery periods. Internal recovery periods are short scheduled or unscheduled relaxation periods when a person is mentally or physically tired due to a task. For example, internal recovery periods include walking, drinking coffee, or taking a lunch break. External recovery periods are actions that occur outside the bounds of the workplace. An example of this can be watching a movie, working out, taking up a hobby, or sleeping.

Six strategies that will help leaders to develop their self-management skills are outlined below. There are three internal strategies, namely (a) regulating physical reactions, (b) proactively preparing the mind for situations, and (c) ensuring appropriate reflection and recovery. There are also three external strategies, which are (a) forcing accountability, (b) seeking to understand the perspectives of others, and (c) striving for clarity. Each of these strategies is discussed in the following section.

4.1. Developing Self-Management—Internal Strategy 1: Regulate Physical Reactions

As noted in the self-awareness strategies, people can physically react to their emotions, which must be regulated. Proper breathing techniques, specifically deep breathing, are used in various meditation practices [32]. By utilizing deep breaths, the brain can operate at total capacity. This practice results in a calmer mind and increased focus [33]. The brain sends electric signals based on the muscles and nerves in the face after a physical reaction. Soussignan used this finding to advocate for increased positivity in people’s lives. The author noted that an increase in laughter and smiles communicate to the brain that a situation is okay, thus allowing the brain to stay in a neutral emotional state for longer.

Another option to control physical reactions is reorientation and regulation. Firstly, people can reorientate themselves through grounding. This can be performed through rest, being in a positive environment, or another interacting with another person. An example of grounding is reorienting oneself to the room. For example, to have a present mind, people may find objects of similar colours to reorient themselves and give themselves more time before reacting. Since the emotional brain will always produce the first response, people may then regulate their physical reactions by using the pause to bypass the initial emotional response. This allows the rational brain’s thought to become the prominent reasoning method in one’s decision-making process. The more time people take to regulate their physical reactions, the more opportunity they will have to combine self-awareness and self-management skills to reach a point of clarity.

4.2. Developing Self-Management—Internal Strategy 2: Proactively Prepare the Mind for Situations

The goal of every strategy is to make the brain act in a certain way. Therefore, to prepare the neuropathways for real situations, people should proactively visualize themselves being successful. Visualization practices are successful because the brain cannot distinguish between visualization and being in the situation [34]. Leaders can then visualize themselves being resilient and successfully managing their emotions to better their self-management skills.

However, as visualization can trick the brain into thinking positive things, it can also have the opposite effect. If a person is overly pessimistic or does not control their impulses, they can also cause themself to visualize adverse outcomes. If it occurs often, the brain will internalize it and use these responses during the actual situation. This finding implies that it emphasizes the importance of constantly regulating one’s emotional state. For example, suppose a leader is reflecting on a situation that made them feel negative emotions, and those emotions arise again and cannot be regulated. In that case, their visualization practices will stagnate the development of their emotional intelligence skills.

A strategy can be employed to combat this situation. Firstly, leaders must be aware of their self-talk and overcome tendencies to engage in negative self-talk patterns. A leader’s thoughts and self-talk statements send messages to the brain about their emotional state, similar to one’s physical reactions [35]. The brain can think more rationally by using more specific language about situations. Changing the use of absolutes in day-to-day conversations can significantly impact the success of this strategy. In practice, this takes the form of avoiding words such as ‘always’ or ‘never’ when ‘often’ is sufficient. Absolutes usually mean that situations cannot be altered. This type of language can have a powerful impact on the level of optimism leaders feel during trying situations. If the language around situations changes or is altered to reflect positive reality more accurately, leaders will see an increase in the positive effects of proactive visualization.

Another vital aspect of regulating one’s physical reactions is accepting things that are out of a leader’s control. Leaders need to ask themselves questions like, “What is in and out of my control”, which will contextualize the situation and help them to determine what subjects need focus. This strategy combines self-awareness and self-management skills to help leaders to develop higher levels of resilience. When there is a recognition that things are out of a leader’s control, being aware of the possible change can help with the initial reception when things go wrong. By continually focusing on the things that can be controlled while accepting that certain elements are out of our control, the feeling of wanting to react to emotions physically can be lowered. This will increase the time a leader has to manage themselves and assist with putting their rational mind at the forefront of their decision-making process.

4.3. Developing Self-Management—Internal Strategy 3: Ensure Appropriate Reflection and Recovery

Reflection and recovery periods are especially effective when a leader has the benefit of time. By putting time between the initial reaction to a situation and the decision being made, leaders can create the space to employ their self-management skills. Patience is required to determine the information received from both the rational and emotional brain. If needed, time may be set aside to problem solve. Regardless of the outcome of the situation, the merit of this strategy comes from the leader having the time to activate both the rational and emotional brain and, in doing so, heighten their self-management skills. Leaders should frequently reflect upon a past situation in which they successfully or unsuccessfully used their self-management skills and learn from it. The lessons from these reflections will begin to combine and lead to excellent self-management development.

4.4. Developing Self-Management—External Strategy 1: Force Accountability

This strategy forces accountability toward a leader’s goals among other people. Leaders can start implementing this strategy by making their goals public to trusted individuals. The hope is that these trusted individuals will assist in keeping the leader accountable towards the goal. The best people to use for this strategy are those the person trusts, especially if they are well respected and have attempted to meet similar goals.

This strategy can be used with a mentor or someone skilled in self-management. Talking to someone experienced in self-management can show that the goal is attainable and how to manage the obstacles when they arise. When an obstruction occurs, people rely on their mentor to provide guidance and direction. Mentors can help leaders given their experience and insights. Mentors can coach leaders on strategies, help them to evaluate the success of past decisions, and provide confirmation to leaders that they are on the right track. This strategy exposes a person to options they did not know existed.

4.5. Developing Self-Management—External Strategy 2: Seek to Understand the Perspectives of Others

To better compartmentalize different parts of the thought process, leaders are encouraged to make an emotion versus a reason list. To effectively use this strategy, people may choose a situation that would yield different emotions. Seeing each emotional and rational point’s perspective contributes to understanding which thoughts are most prominent in the mind and which are most reasonable given the situation’s needs. It is also valuable to argue the counterpoint or counterargument to help leaders to better understand the situation’s complexity and the perspective of those holding contrasting opinions.

This strategy gains merit when it is discussed with other strategies. This list is best discussed with someone not emotionally invested in the situation. It is important to inform them of the situation and the emotional and rational thoughts behind it and let them gauge whether the rational thoughts are reasonable or skewed by emotions. Understanding emotional and rational thoughts from different perspectives can assist in the efforts to isolate the rational mind. This contributes to understanding the roles emotions play during stressful situations and managing those emotions to avoid having them skew rational thoughts.

4.6. Developing Self-Management—External Strategy 3: Strive for Clarity

An external clarity moment may utilize the benefit other people afford during one’s recovery period. While mindfulness is unique to each person, so is their resilience, particularly the way a leader chooses to utilize their external recovery period. Meditation, yoga, walks, or physical exercise are all known to benefit individuals’ mental well-being and ability to stay focused during stressful times. Since leaders make crucial decisions and constantly think, some leaders may benefit from a precise moment to release their responsibility to another person. However, if their external clarity moment is better experienced alone, the focus can be shifted to their sleep routine. Maintaining a proper sleep routine is vital to the overall rest and recovery of the body, thus making this an excellent alternative to external recovery periods. Whether a leader chooses to have internal or external recovery periods, there is merit in putting mental recharge blocks in their schedule. These activities release chemicals like serotonin and endorphins to make the brain feel better, relax, and recharge [36].

5. How to Develop Social Awareness

The third component of Goleman’s emotional intelligence model is social awareness. This concept is colloquially used in many instances to describe how people act; however, in emotional intelligence, social awareness is the ability to understand other people’s emotions and what those emotions mean for each person. This is the first component that focuses on social competence. Thus, as self-awareness is a foundational skill for self-management, social awareness is also a foundational skill for relationship management.

Social awareness is rooted in the understanding that perceiving another’s feelings can occur even if the other person’s feelings are not directly shared. The ability to distinguish one’s feelings is covered in self-awareness, but leaders can still use those skills to better understand others’ emotions. Social awareness mainly occurs through listening, whether on a one-on-one basis or in a group setting. By avoiding thinking of the subsequent response, other people’s verbal and behavioural cues become easier to detect. Thus, leaders are granted a greater understanding of the other person’s emotional state.

Social awareness is used in nearly every social situation. Having a high degree of social awareness not only assists leaders in developing their emotional intelligence skills, but they may also recognize when others have a high or low degree of social awareness. Those with heightened social awareness can perceive others’ emotions, which can evolve into being better relationship builders. They often employ active listening strategies and can easily describe the context of a situation. Those with low social awareness may struggle to listen and be impatient, and this can materialize in their body language. They may be unsocial and often cannot look past their emotions or thoughts.

The competency required to help to organize all the strategies is perspective. While learning the strategies, keep in mind the different aspects of the perspectives of individuals, the group, and the company. Each perspective brings unique information, allowing a better understanding of the social situation. Each of these strategies is discussed in the following section. The three strategies to develop social awareness are (a) being mindful of subtle changes, (b) understanding the dynamics of social space, and (c) seeking input from others during reflection.

5.1. Developing Social Awareness Strategy 1: Be Mindful of Nuanced Changes

To be present, firstly, people must clear the mind by employing their self-awareness skills. They should not think when others are talking; instead, they should be an active listener. After clearing out internal thoughts, listening to others becomes more effortless. Active listening will allow a leader to pick up on others’ cues, especially since they happen quickly. There is also validity in taking note of others’ body language. Leaders should mentally ask, “What would their perspective be at this moment? How does that relate to the social situation?” This is a step toward being active in social situations. This leads to understanding how others feel, which can tell us more about the overall social situation.

The next step in the process is to notice subtle changes. Nuanced changes are a sign that a situation is developing. Nuanced changes are small but noticeable changes people will make in reaction to an evolving situation. For example, leaders should look for tone shifts in people’s speech or consider how their body language changes during pivotal moments. Those with high social awareness can take a broad approach and look for changes in others’ self-awareness and self-management strategies. Sometimes, other people will not have the emotional intelligence skills to succeed in a particular situation. Understanding this and placing it in the context of the social situation helps us to put together the full image of what subtle changes are, what they look like, and the impact that they can have on each person. Becoming experienced in this strategy will allow a leader to be active in a social situation.

Although gathering information about social awareness from other people during situations is helpful, sometimes, we need more information. Thus, the opportunity to develop social awareness skills needs to present itself. For example, people should observe how people react to similar situations in movie theatres. In addition, they should notice an actor’s ability to make subtle changes designed to convey emotions. While acting, they imitate how people prefer to act in real situations. If these changes are noticed, analyzed, and remembered, there is an opportunity to apply these lessons to real-world situations.

5.2. Developing Social Awareness Strategy 2: Understand the Dynamics of Social Spaces

When entering a new space for the first time, quickly understand the social dynamic. A 15-min tour of the setting will accomplish this, as it will determine the mood of the room and the cultural implications of the environment. By walking around the space, talking to people, and seeing artifacts, an awareness of different elements can arise, particularly the space’s culture and values. After touring the space, people should attempt to assess the mood of the room. Are people talking? How tense is the environment? What is the context of the meeting (i.e., serious or casual)?

Sometimes, more than observing people and the setting is needed to understand the social dynamic. Here, leaders must take action to gain social awareness. Taking action to gain an understanding of the social dynamic can begin by greeting others. Greeting people by their preferred names connects who they are and how they feel comfortable being addressed. In addition, meeting someone for the first time and greeting them by their name allows people to state if they would like to be referred to by a different name or nickname.

This strategy is rooted in creating good social relationships. Focus on understanding what others like to be called, and they will begin to give clues about their social limits. For instance, finding out if someone is introverted or extroverted, what their social battery limits are, and if they like to be addressed in groups or individuals will all assist in creating a complete image of a person’s social limits. Once this information is deduced, it is vital to communicate using the information gathered from these social cues. If a leader does not act on the information gathered, they ignore the benefits of their social awareness skills.

Another way to be an active leader in a social situation to understand the social context is to centre the conversation back on its purpose. Centring the conversation back to its meaning is best achieved by using a utilitarian approach. A utilitarian approach is one that best serves the majority of the group. An example of a practical approach is having a back-pocket question or going up to a person specifically and asking, “You seem to be looking down, is everything okay?” By eliminating unnecessary talking points and asking a pointed question centring the conversation back to its purpose, the responses reveal information related to others’ social awareness and self-management skills. The goal of this strategy is to generate the skills to probe into social settings to understand better what is going on, what everyone’s perspective is, and how to use this information to make a decision that is best for the group.

5.3. Developing Social Awareness Strategy 3: Seek Input from Others during Reflection

Like the other components, use others’ perspectives to gauge the development of social awareness abilities. This is the most vital aspect of identifying others’ opinions, as other people usually notice it first. It is common to notice someone who is socially unaware quickly; therefore, this step requires strength and courage. This can be performed in different ways: surveys, casual check-ins with coworkers, or performance meetings. In connection to the overall development of social awareness skills, this strategy is best used as a checkpoint so it can be measured against the effectiveness of the other strategies.

6. How to Develop Relationship Management

Relationship management is the fourth component of Goleman’s emotional intelligence model, and it concerns the ability of individuals to use their awareness and the emotions of others to effectively manage social interactions. In Goleman’s model, relationship management is cumulative and requires other components to build toward this skill. Relationship management is rooted in the ability to see and understand how one’s emotions, and the emotions of others, are framed within a social situation. This knowledge affords space for better decision-making.

Relationship management can be used in building and maintaining relationships. Many aspects of a relationship need to be appropriately curated, and they may lead to a healthy, genuine, and professional relationship if curated correctly. Predominately, relationship management helps with clear communication and conflict resolution. Most issues arise due to a lack of communication and the inability to solve a conflict. Communication and conflict resolution are often linked to stressful times in relationships, which is why relationship management is the hardest thing to do while stressed. Communication and conflict resolution can be isolated and improved independently through the below-mentioned strategies. However, the focus remains on utilizing them together to become a more effective and emotionally intelligent leader.

Unlike the other components, high and low degrees of relationship management are easy to detect. Those with a strong relationship management skills can uplift others, make others feel smart, and are sensitive, all of which are accomplished through reading their emotions. Those with low relationship management skills can be judgmental or difficult to work with; they can often make negative statements and focus on faults rather than successes. Poor relationship management efforts can take the form of someone who cannot manage anger or frustration. These people will choose to take out their emotions on others and project rather than communicate and resolve conflict. Therefore, relationship management involves making conscious choices that best suit the social situation and everyone involved.

Relationship management can be learned through three multilayered strategies. In line with relationship management being the final component of the emotional intelligence model, the two competencies that help to contextualize these strategies are culmination and application. When reading the strategies, people should notice when they call to culminate the lessons from the above strategies and when they are applied. Each of the following strategies is discussed in the following sections. The designs are (a) build trust, (b) be empathetic, and (c) embrace challenging situations.

6.1. Developing Relationship Management Strategy 1: Build Trust

Building trust is accomplished through being open and curious. Being open and curious invites others to listen, creating an environment where people feel comfortable. When people know more about their leader, they are less likely to misinterpret what they say. Being open and curious about other people and aspects important to the relationship with them makes others feel safer about opening up, which can lead to relationship development. To receive the full benefits of being open and curious, curiosity about others’ openness must also be used. This calls for leaders to be active listeners, understand social cues, and notice nuanced changes. When space is created for others to open up, the leader must listen, recognize the degree to which they are opening up, and determine the impact that this has on developing trust.

Another way to develop relationship management skills by building trust is to refrain from giving mixed signals. People trust what they see over what they hear. Therefore, if the goal is to build trust, the focus should be on acting out preached behaviours. In practice, this means showing gratitude when someone does something that is appreciated. By only showing appreciation when it is deserved, it communicates to them that they can trust the judgement of their leader since praise is only given when necessary.

This also has merit when making decisions. It is essential to explain the decisions and not just make them when necessary. Leaders should openly explaining why a decision was made, accept feedback from others, and deepen the connection between the other parties by allowing them to be on the same page. Building trust takes time and can be lost very quickly. It will be inversely related to the strength of a leader’s relationship management skills.

6.2. Developing Relationship Management Strategy 2: Be Empathetic

Arguably the most critical strategy for relationship management is being empathetic. This can be achieved through three practices: having an open-door policy, acknowledging others’ feelings, and complimenting the other person’s emotions or situation. An open-door policy enhances a leader’s ability to be open and curious about others. Like mindfulness, there is not one open-door policy that works for all. Leaders use self-awareness skills to determine what policy works best for them and will allow themselves to be in the right mindset. The goal is to be present to field others’ questions, comments, and concerns without interference from external factors. Ultimately, this space should be where others feel comfortable and that they will be heard.

During open-door or other interactions, leaders ensure the other person’s feelings are being acknowledged. When people talk, they will reveal their emotions in multiple ways, whether by overtly stating their emotions or recalling events and giving clues that help to deduce them. The ability to pick up on and acknowledge these cues will communicate to the other person that they are speaking with a trusted, empathetic, and active listener. During hard conversations, a “check-in” is particularly useful. By asking someone, “This is hard. How are you feeling?”, a leader can de-escalate tension and facilitate a valuable and meaningful conversation. This will help to maintain open lines of communication and let the person know that their leader cares about them and is willing to empathize with their feelings.

Lastly, leaders need to make sure to compliment the person’s emotions or situation. There is a time and place to do this, as trying to compliment someone’s emotion or situation at the wrong time can come across as ingenuine or socially unaware. Leaders use social awareness skills to read the room. Leaders choose a time and place where the response is needed and will assist in addressing the situation and is best achieved by giving and receiving feedback.

When giving feedback, leaders are direct and constructive. This requires all four components of Goleman’s emotional intelligence model. They use self-awareness to understand how delivering the feedback will impact the speaker. Is this a difficult choice? Was the relationship between the speaker and the person receiving the feedback altered because of this situation? Leaders use self-management skills to gauge what to do and how to present the information. Is the situation fresh? Has time passed between the situation and the feedback? Leaders use social awareness to identify their mood before and after delivering the feedback and use relationship management skills by asking them for their thoughts when once the feedback is delivered.

There are different types of situations where feedback can be received. It can be informal, formal, or offered within a group. When receiving feedback, others’ emotions can be complimented by understanding their perspective. This starts by delaying judgment on the feedback and reading the person or people delivering the feedback. Leaders use social awareness skills to help enhance their relationship management skills and see if the other person is struggling with this conversation. While the feedback may be received well, the person giving the feedback may need help. This can happen when a subordinate has a difficult conversation with their leader. In these situations, relationship management skills aim to ensure that the other person’s feelings are recognized. Leaders focus on making sure that they leave feeling heard and comfortable rather than just being heard.

6.3. Developing Relationship Management Strategy 3: Embrace Challenging Situations

Usually, as challenging situations develop, a feeling arises that something is off. Whether it is noticed right away or later on, a crossroads is reached. Leaders choose to control the situation or let the situation control them. By controlling the situation, leaders become open and honest by creating lines of communication with the other parties involved. For example, to address problematic co-workers, self-awareness skills help to determine from where frustration originates based on the staff’s perspective. Then, leaders’ social awareness skills in situations with that co-worker help them to find clues about their perspective.

Leaders are advised to devise a plan to tackle the situation with a utilitarian approach. It is better to embrace the situation so that it can be fixed rather than letting it grow and potentially lead to complex problems. An option for conflict resolution in this situation is to have a challenging conversation. A tough conversation allows both parties to express their needs and wants. This can create a space for all parties to be heard. Sometimes, these conversations can make people uncomfortable. They are difficult conversations to have. Leaders must be sensitive to the context in which they operate. Bradberry and Greaves offered suggestions on how to tackle this type of conversation. The points are discussed below.

The first step is to start with an agreement. Common ground allows all parties to be heard. Leaders ask the person for their perspective to better understand their view. Hearing another perspective directly from the person eliminates external information’s impact on the perception of the situation. Now, the next step requires self-management. Leaders delay judgment on what they are saying while they are speaking because once they have finished explaining their view and feel heard and comfortable, a precedent is set for them to do the same again. It is essential to continue to move the conversation forward. Therefore, creating a quick list of points that led to agreement and disagreement creates a foundation for the exchange to progress. Whether the conversation helps to resolve the issue or not, it is essential to keep lines of communication open. Over time, following these steps make tough conversations easier. This decreased difficulty will increase the effectiveness of leaders at resolving situations.

The last aspect of the strategy is designed for specific situations and used sparingly. Demonstrating anger, when necessary, creates a similar effect as giving praise. Leaders using self-awareness skills and knowing their triggers will help them to navigate challenging encounters with others. These signs could reveal that it is time to use anger. Leaders combine this with social awareness skills to understand the right time and place to use anger, and as a result, a meaningful yet necessary message will be sent. This does not include using force, being rude, or consistently using anger. However, there are times when emotions should be brought to the forefront, especially when all other options have been exhausted.

7. Conclusions

Emotional intelligence has been studied for over 30 years; however, the concept continues to capture the attention of researchers who have confirmed that the concept remains critically important to a leader’s efficacy and impact [37,38,39]. The concept remains relevant today. Current and aspiring leaders must understand emotional intelligence and be able to separate the concept into three main areas—what, why, and how. By knowing what emotional intelligence is, its impacts, and how to develop the concept, leaders can develop their emotional intelligence skills, which will reap multiple benefits when used in practice.

The benefits of learning and developing emotional intelligence have been determined to increase leadership potential, leadership and organizational effectiveness, and leadership development. In many ways, emotional intelligence continues to garner the attention of researchers who have confirmed that emotionally intelligent leaders bring out the best in those they influence [7]. Emotional intelligence can be developed. This contribution helps current and aspiring leaders to understand how they can operationalize the concept of emotional intelligence and, in doing so, maximize their impact and efficacy as leaders.

If current leaders are looking to follow cutting-edge trends and changes in their industry, being aware of the academic literature regarding emotional intelligence can also be beneficial. Learning emotional intelligence stems from understanding the literature. We may suppose that a leader becomes familiar with the latest developments in the emotional intelligence field. In that case, they can use their heightened skills to embrace new trends and changes in their industry with an increased probability of effectiveness. With society regarding equity, diversity, and inclusion (EDI) as hallmarks of being a 21st-century organization, leaders who handle sensitive issues can meet such expectations by using their increased emotional intelligence skills. As a result, leaders can navigate themselves and their organizations properly and effectively.

Current leaders looking to reach their leadership potential should take courses on emotional intelligence to better understand and subsequently implement the concept. Like the scope of this paper, courses designed in this fashion will allow leaders to create the time in their week to focus on developing skills related to emotional intelligence. These leaders will see improved clarity when approaching their work through consistent practice and effort.

This will be especially helpful for middle-level leaders. Developing their emotional intelligence can assist in increasing their opportunities for increased productivity and the likelihood of promotion. In the case of middle-level managers with vast knowledge of their organization’s technical side, their emotional intelligence skills can be an extra tool to increase their attractiveness for a higher leadership position.

Practicing leaders looking to improve their organization’s competitiveness during recruitment can improve their professional development programs to include aspects of emotional intelligence development. The specifics can vary for each organization. However, each professional development program should specifically include instruction on emotional intelligence, its importance, and methods for developing it. These areas can be altered to meet each employee’s professional development wants and needs.

A leader incorporating emotional intelligence education and development in their professional development programs will increase their effectiveness and ability to manage 21st-century organizations. The inclusion of emotional intelligence can also attract talent who are currently developing their emotional intelligence skills. The organization would then retain talent aware of the impacts emotional intelligence has on practicing leaders. This alignment of the candidate’s and the organization’s professional development values would increase the candidate’s inclination to accept an offer from the organization.

Strategies related to the development of each component of Goleman’s model, specifically the four components, self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, were presented. Each section used a core competency to guide leaders in the field. Respective to the order above, each component’s competency was mindfulness, resilience, perspective, and application. These competencies help to guide each component. Nevertheless, leaders should ultimately use these strategies to become more empathetic leaders in their industry.

Each leader’s emotional intelligence journey must be personal and individual to their goals, needs, and wants. Creating private development plans based on the strategies listed in this paper creates opportunities for leaders to reach their full leadership potential. Leaders must be aware that the full development of emotional intelligence skills takes considerable time, effort, and concentration; however, the benefits of emotional intelligence can be immediate. Over time, as leaders continue to practice and develop their emotional intelligence skills, the degree to which the benefits are seen will increase.