Teen Perspectives on Suicides and Deaths in an Affluent Community: Perfectionism, Protection, and Exclusion
Abstract
:1. Introduction
2. Methods
3. Results
3.1. Youth Views on the Affluence of Aurdon
Simon: If you grow up in that, …you can kind of grow up with a certain sense of entitlement or like a certain sense of naivete, because all you’ve all you’ve known is the best thing in the world. So I’m kind of glad that I wasn’t necessarily born there.
Jacob: I could say the stereotype for our community is pretty well-known, in being the physical-looking, fake-boobs wife who kind of, has a super-rich husband, drives a Range Rover. I mean, that’s… pretty true.
Chloe: I feel like a lot of people were very materialistic and, like, really didn’t care about, I don’t know, the most important things in life.
Roland: You have to be excessive and extravagant to set yourself apart.
Fabian: And so, you know, obviously a lot of these kids are very spoiled, myself included…. All these kids get brand-new cars for their birthdays, and, you know, they fly to Cabo for Spring Break. You know, it’s like they live a life of luxury and that culture really kind of permeates at school.
Kian: So it would just suck when like, I see… every single one of my friends go home and … are able to study for all hours in like this, their own room… I lived in—a one bedroom apartment. I was in the, like, living room of that apartment.
Greer: What I did not love about high school, was—probably, like, the sense of pressure. And this is, I think, just for girls, because people are so materialistic in [Aurdon], I think, sometimes, like that was a constant pressure like “what am I going to wear today?”. My first car, this sounds silly, but my first car was like a really beat-up, old, [mid-range SUV], and I just remember being, like, so embarrassed to drive that around campus and, like, kind of wanting to park in the back, because my best friends had, like, a new car whatever.
3.2. A Community of Perfectionists
Harrison: I think it’s just an inherently competitive environment, right, because you have really well-off people that are basically starting life on third base.
Joseph: There’s pressure in any, every community, and… I think it’s a good thing. …I think pressure creates success.
Summer: [If] you don’t major in business or something, you know, expensive, that’s built to make money, then you’re going to be useless in our area… Like it has to be, like, incredible or you’re useless.
Bree: There’s lots of keep up with. Like, whether that’s like, materials, or like, cars and, like, wallets or shoes, you know what I mean. I think that’s a lot of pressure, which might not be the most challenging thing, but I think mentally, that takes a big toll. …It’s a lot to keep up with. Um, so that’s so, materialistically. And I think socially, partying started in seventh grade and if you didn’t really do that, …like people were cool about it, but like at the same time, you’re not going to get invited to stuff on the weekends….
Ace: It’s like a, it’s like a bubble…. It’s like people try to create this perfect norm that you’re supposed to be perfect and that everything’s great and happy. But it’s not. It’s life. Things happen.
Aria: [T]he adult community isn’t very welcoming, you know? And it has this very competitive environment. Like there’s always the need to compete with other people, and if you’re not at a certain level you’re judged, you’re looked at differently.
Riley: I think that there was a lot of pressure on kids all the time to perform, to outperform, the person to the right and to their left, all the time.
Jones: I feel like a lot of kids have a lot to look up to, or a lot to achieve, you know? They feel like they can never achieve what their parents have done.
Dana: I do remember always feeling that, like, pressure with the competitiveness of social life, of academics, of sports, like—kind of feeling like you have to check all of the boxes.
Gracyn: There’s social pressures to dress a certain way, act a certain way, live your life a certain way, have your sexuality be a certain way… It’s very conformist, I think… And yeah, like there’s just social pressures to do this when you go out, to be friends with this person, to post this on some random app.
Joy: There was always a pressure to do better and to be better.
Kian: You feel like you’re never enough.
Joy: The parents here try and cover up their kids’ mistakes… so it didn’t affect the kids’ future… It’s like half and half. Like, most [parents] are “learn from your mistakes” but there are definitely some that, again, the competitiveness drive, a lot of this just comes back from competition. [They] will try and cover it up and just be like, “my kid didn’t do it” or, “denial”, “denial”, “denial”, and then if it does come out, do everything that you can to bury it.
Riley: I think that a lot of times they feel like they can fix their kids’ mistakes for them, without the kids figuring it out on their own, or letting the kids kind of deal with it and grow and mature from it.
Lacey: Kids [here] tend to get off easy sometimes.
Joy: A lot of places, their parents would just be like, “Okay. You screwed up. Like, you gotta deal with the consequences. We’ll help you, like, come back from that, but, like, sorry”. But here, I think,... [parents] will try and cover it up and just be like, “my kid didn’t do it” or, “denial”, “denial”, “denial”. And then if it does come out, do everything that you can to bury it.
Lacey: I do think, just because there is a lot of privilege, that ... like a bigger mistake, like doing drugs at school… that gets covered up. Or like, the cheating scandal [when a handful of students were hacking school computers to change their grades] … oh all those kids like got their records sealed and got into really good schools. And it’s like that’s because of the privilege.
Peter: You could argue that there was this… feeling of indestructibility amongst our younger youths, because it’s almost like “anything I do will be fixed by my parents”, almost.
Bree: It’s almost like the limitations of helping your kids succeed—it is limitless.
Gracyn: There’s just an overall stigma about mental health here, where it’s like, when you’re in such an affluent community it’s—“How can you be upset? How can you be sad?”
Fabian: It’s super superficial. It’s all about how you’re posturing… Everybody is so concerned with their appearance and what they look like on the outside that there’s no talk about what’s going on on the inside, which is mental health.
Reggie: I definitely think vulnerability was lacking.
Robyn: [People here are] fake, putting on a front for other people, wanting to always look their best, just not being, like, raw, or real, or having real emotions.
3.3. Protective but Exclusive
Fabian: Like, I went to lots of parties in lots of places where the parents weren’t there, and there were just kids trashing the place and drinking a bunch of alcohol. At some point it was like, what is really going on here? It’s like this beautiful house with a hundred 17-year-olds in it. It’s kind of weird.
Chloe: There were so many parties that I had gone to where the parents were gone for the weekend and, ya know, people would get into their liquor cabinet and bring cases of beer and handles of liquor. And I just, like, I always thought that was normal.
Pam: It’s a bubble. And people are aware of it… It’s like a gilded yacht cage… You keep it by forming your group and upholding your standards and keeping yourself together, and you don’t let a whole lot of other people in.
Dana: I was just, honestly, constantly disappointed in, like, the lack of humanity that I saw.
Fabian: But it was just sort of like closed-mindedness, or I don’t know if there was an ignorance or a lack of caring about the outside world, but [people were] very removed.
Roland: I think while there was some of that at [Crimson]… portraying oneself as like… “I’m not only wealthy but I’m also going to be a rulebreaker”.
Robyn: I feel like a[n Aurdon] mentality is very much being selfish and just really thinking about what you can do for yourself, and not really others.
Aria: I’ve also met parents who just—they’re just not very nice. …parents are very much like, if they see you, they might see you as a threat to their kid’s success.
Summer: Socially, I had, like, a few good friends, but I never felt like this was the best place to create relationships, just because of everything that was in the way. Whether that be what you wear, what you drive, where you’re going on summer vacation. I always felt like those things were kind of always in your face.
Riley: I would say that the culture was not great within the community. And it was really hard for kids to find, like, a really, really solid friendship group within high school; to have that social support during those hard times.
Fabian: It’s all about, you know, celebrity and do you have the newest car, and like who have you hooked up with, and who is the hottest girl in the school. You know, it’s a very superficial culture.
Joseph: I think, um, [Aurdon] as a community of being, um, wealthy and pretentious, but if you’re able to—see through that, there’s a lot of great people that are willing to help.
Bree: I think it’s seeing your parents’ success…. Once you grow up experiencing that type of lifestyle, subconsciously, you want to provide that for your [own] kids, or you feel pressure to continue that legacy. Um, so—I know this is harsh, but I’d say it’s the money that puts a subconscious pressure [on Aurdon youth]…
Pam: The perception of the community is why would you ever want to leave? …Nobody thinks, “...it’s okay that I won’t make enough money to live here”…. Because all the things feel like a pyramid, right, or like a race. And if it’s a multigenerational thing, what you are really running is a relay race.
Joy: Being really competitive, I think that comes from [parents] wanting to have, their kids to have, a really successful life and be back in [Aurdon], but—forgetting the fact that they didn’t start in [Aurdon].
Gracyn: …the community is not helping students in the right way. It’s not fostering, like, an environment of growth and openness. It’s very much about “this is your own personal struggle; deal with it. Don’t bring it to me”. And so, I mean, obviously, it’s not a helpful thing. It’s not working well for students. We had a very big example of such [(the very-public suicide and related note of the aforementioned young man)], and yet it still persists.
Kian: It felt like you were always being watched… someone was always telling you that you can do better, no matter how good you did.
Ace: …for me, and for a lot of, for a lot of my friends, it kind of felt like groundhog’s day. We were just, kind of, repeating the same thing that happened…
Ace: We kind of already know what happens, how to react, and how to be there for one another, so it’s not really, like, a shock or surprise anymore, which is really, really sad but that’s honestly just the, kind of, the hard truth.
4. Discussion
5. Conclusions
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Participant Demographics (Self-Identified) | Count | |
---|---|---|
Gender | Female | 16 |
Male | 14 | |
Age at time of interview | Age 18 | 4 |
Age 19 | 4 | |
Age 20 | 2 | |
Age 21 | 14 | |
Age 22 | 5 | |
Age 23 | 1 | |
Race/Ethnicity | Asian | 1 |
White/Caucasian | 25 | |
Mixed Heritage | 4 | |
Years spent attending high school in Aurdon | 4+ | 30 |
Open Interview Prompts |
---|
1. Tell me a little about your high school experience here in [Aurdon]. 2. Were you aware of young adult or student deaths during your high school years? If so, can you tell me how you experienced that? 3. Why do you think your community has lost so many young people in recent years? 4. What was the most helpful or impactful thing said or done to help you cope with loss/grief? 5. Has the community changed after these losses? (If so, how?) |
Code | Total Count |
---|---|
Affluence Pressure, support, bubble | 194 |
Apology Apologies, guilt | 55 |
Community Community, culture, neighborhood | 628 |
→ Bubble (Axial code) Participant use of the word or obvious allusion to the idea | (14) |
Family Parent–child parallels, parenting, household dynamics | 495 |
→ Permissiveness (Axial code) Parents covering up mistakes, parents liberal with substances | (69) |
Fatigue Numbness, normalization, desensitization vs. familiarity, hopelessness, weariness, capacity for change | 82 |
Grief Memory, trauma, grief, gender differences therein, fragility; includes reaction to death; includes modality of participant learning about community tragedies | 354 |
Image Authenticity vs. superficiality, image, perceptions, performance/performative behaviors, stigma | 274 |
Key Support Role model, best friend, friend group (tight) | 275 |
Noteworthy Particularly poignant or summative | 296 |
→ Gender Differences (Axial code) References/statements | (55) |
Perfectionism Define/story, maxing out your effort, doing extremely well, college on a pedestal, equating college with personal value/worth; competitiveness/competition | 371 |
Posting Social media, online “performance” | 89 |
Prevent Preventability | 221 |
Temporality Temporary vs. lasting, cyclical, changes in perspective with time | 198 |
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© 2024 by the authors. Licensee MDPI, Basel, Switzerland. This article is an open access article distributed under the terms and conditions of the Creative Commons Attribution (CC BY) license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/).
Share and Cite
Peterson, A.; Smith-Morris, C. Teen Perspectives on Suicides and Deaths in an Affluent Community: Perfectionism, Protection, and Exclusion. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2024, 21, 456. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph21040456
Peterson A, Smith-Morris C. Teen Perspectives on Suicides and Deaths in an Affluent Community: Perfectionism, Protection, and Exclusion. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2024; 21(4):456. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph21040456
Chicago/Turabian StylePeterson, Abigail, and Carolyn Smith-Morris. 2024. "Teen Perspectives on Suicides and Deaths in an Affluent Community: Perfectionism, Protection, and Exclusion" International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 21, no. 4: 456. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph21040456